Christine Feehan - Dark Destiny (Dark Series - book 13)

The owl flapped its wings, took flight overhead. The movement seemed to calm the wild winds. Even the white-hot whips of lightning faded from the dark clouds as Destiny began to relax.

Mary Ann reached out and, to Destiny’s horror, hugged her briefly before walking determinedly away. Destiny simply stood frozen in place, as still as a statue, unaware her hand was gripping Nicolae’s so hard that he was afraid she would pulverize his bones. She watched Mary Ann walk out of the alley with the owl flying just above her as if guarding her. Or stalking her. “He won’t hurt her,” Nicolae said. It was in her mind to try another attack on the owl. Knock it from the sky so she could be sure Mary Ann was safe.

“He only threatened her to stop you from attacking me.”

Nicolae stepped closer to her. “You have not fed.” It was an invitation.

“I don’t trust myself yet.” She looked up at him then. Studied his face with its dark sensuality, its sharp angles and planes. The eyes had seen too many centuries. Faced too many battles. He was a man who had been alone for far too long. “I can’t be what you want me to be.” She had touched his mind often. She knew his thoughts.

Lifemate

. She understood all the word implied. Everything.

Lifemate

. Something she could never be.

His hand framed her face. Exquisitely gentle, his fingers trailed over her cheekbones, lingering with tenderness. “You are everything I want you to be. There is no need to worry about such things. You do not know me. How can you decide?”

His touch wreaked havoc with every cell in her body, caused a small rebellion of her senses. A mutiny of blood and bone and nerve endings. He confused her. Every time he came near her, she felt different from normal. Restless. Needy. His voice found its way into her body, wrapped itself tightly around her heart and lungs, so that each time he spoke, he robbed her of breath. Of life. Of the ability to hate. Him. Herself. What she was.

“It was easier without you.”

“You have never been without me,” he pointed out. He curled his fingers around hers, brought her knuckles to his mouth.

Her heart jumped at the touch of his lips against her skin. A whisper of velvet. A stroke of heat. He was so beautiful there in the night. Tall and strong and alive. Too real. Too masculine. Too strong. There was a lump in her throat that made it almost impossible to speak. “You are, you know. Too strong for me.” Her voice came out husky, strangled, so unlike her.

His thumb feathered along her cheek, traced the path of an imaginary tear. His palm cupped her forehead, removed every trace of the tiny beads of blood. “You were honed in the fires of hell, Destiny. No one will ever be as strong as you are. I know you fear you will lose yourself by being with me, but that would be impossible. I am not asking you to join with me. I am not asking anything of you other than for you to grow accustomed to my presence. I have shared your mind for many years, shared your fears and every unspeakable evil that was done to you. I shared your battles and I know your every secret. It is my physical presence that is unsettling to you.”

He leaned closer, so close that his lips skimmed over the corner of her mouth. Her blood heated and her stomach clenched. “I need you. To live. To save my soul. I am willing to wait as long as it takes.”

Her eyes met his. She flinched away from the dark sensuality she saw there. From the tremendous intensity. “I know that you’re willing to wait. But you can’t really wait, can you? I’ve read your mind. I know that this thing you call lifemate is essential to keep you from turning vampire.”

He didn’t even blink at the accusation. He nodded, his gaze drifting possessively over her face. “I

can

wait, Destiny. If it is difficult, that is not your failing but mine. Let me worry about how I will manage it.”

“I can’t be intimate with you.” Her chin rose slightly; her soft mouth trembled. “I could never be intimate with you, and that’s a big part of what you want from me.”

“We are already intimate, Destiny. Sex is not necessarily intimacy. We have shared far more than other couples, shared

intimate

details of our lives.” He tilted her chin, studied her vivid eyes. “Come with me. Let me show you what you are, not what you imagine yourself to be.”

“Why does everything you say sound like a temptation?” A faint smile gleamed for a brief moment in the depths of her eyes. “Can’t you just be dull and uninteresting?”

He laughed softly, brought her hand once more to his astonishing mouth. His teeth teased the pads of her fingers. “At least that is a start. I would much rather be a temptation than dull and uninteresting.”

“Where are we going?” She moved backward, a subtle retreat. “I haven’t spent so much time with people in my entire life. It’s”—she searched for the right word—”uncomfortable.”

At least she was willing to come with him. He couldn’t ask for more than that. When he was near her, his pulse pounded and his head throbbed. His body was hard and full, aching for her. The ritual words beat in his mind, and deep within, the crouching beast lifted its head and roared for release. Nicolae didn’t flinch from the knowledge in her eyes. He had deliberately given her an advantage. She needed to be able to touch his mind at will. To feel she could know his true intent. He had no intention of hiding his difficulties from her. It was the Carpathian way of life, the male struggling to keep darkness at bay. It was a fact, and finding his lifemate created its own complications.

Nicolae dissolved without another word, streaking through the dark clouds, a heavy mist mixing with the fog and moving determinedly over the city. He didn’t hesitate, once again giving Destiny a choice. She had to want to take the steps, want to give them a chance.

That’s not what I’m doing

, she replied, responding to his last thought. There was no chance of their being a couple. Together. Lifemates. Destiny leapt into the air, bursting into the sky like a rocket. Her body dissolved into a prism of colored molecules, tiny drops that slipped lightly through the veils of fog.

She knew what his response would be and she braced herself. His laughter slipped into her mind. Nothing could rob her of breath the way the sound of his laughter did. There was something incredibly sexy about his laugh. Destiny followed the streaking comet through the sky, away from the city, toward the mountains and the forest some distance away.

She allowed the joy of flying to absorb her completely, to block out her every worry. There were certain undeniable pleasures the dark gift had given her.

More than a few

, Nicolae pointed out.

Each species has its drawbacks and incredible wonders. I do not think you have fully appreciated what you are.

Destiny tried not to flinch away from his words. She knew what she was, what she had worked to become. She hunted the undead and she was becoming very good at killing them.

How is it you can read my mind when my blood does not call you? I’m not in pain; I didn’t connect with you. We’ve created a path over the years. That is my best answer. We are two halves of the same whole. I think we would be able to find each other however far apart we are, no matter what the circumstances.

The answer both pleased and frightened her. Even without the ritual words that were always in Nicolae’s mind, they were already sealed to one another. She could not imagine her existence without him. There would be no sanity. There would be no reality. Her mind would fragment and crumble until there was no substance, no thought. The idea terrified her. It terrified her even more that she relied on him for her sanity.