Nalini Singh: Slave to Sensation

The agony was everywhere. Her skin felt as if it was being flayed off her. Her mind screamed and screamed, gasping for the feedback it needed to survive. She clawed at Lucas’s chest, unable to breathe. Claustrophobia closed around her, the darkness pressing down deeper than Enrique’s attempts at crushing her mind. She was going to choke to death. Alone. She was so alone.

Alone. Dark. Black. Cold.

Lucas was terrified by what he saw in Sascha’s eyes. All the stars had disappeared in a blink when she’d opened her eyes and now there was such deep ebony in the depths, he thought he could see eternity.

“Sascha!” He shook her, ignoring the others who’d run into the room at the sound of her screams. It didn’t occur to him that he knew the killer’s name, that he could start the hunt for vengeance. Only she mattered. “Sascha!” She didn’t respond. It was as if she couldn’t see him.

He wasn’t Psy. He couldn’t get into her mind. But he could anchor her another way. Wrapping one hand around her nape, he pulled her close and kissed her. Hard. Without mercy. It was a brutal, savage, possessive kiss and it held every emotion he felt for her. He poured it all into her mouth, calling her back with touch. Her claw-like grip eased but she clung to him, wrapping her arms and legs around him as if she wanted to crawl into his soul.

Alone. So alone.

It was as if he heard the words in his mind. Had she linked? Had she followed through on her promise? Was that why he could feel the load of darkness pressing down on her? He pushed it back with heat and fire and emotion, squeezing her body close.

When he broke the kiss so she could breathe, she whimpered, “No, no, no, no.” He pressed his lips against hers once again. The darkness was no longer so heavy but it wasn’t disappearing. Why not? She was linked to him. She wasn’t alone. Not anymore. Never again.

The next time the kiss broke, she took a deep breath and said, “It’s Councilor Santano Enrique. He feels nothing. Doesn’t know about you. Thinks I’m just flawed.” It came out in a staccato rush—as if she were spitting things out before they were forever lost.

Lucas looked at Hawke, who’d been first into the room. “Go. Dorian. Vaughn.” His eyes locked with the jaguar’s. Vaughn gave a slight nod. He understood his job—to protect Dorian from his own rage. Lucas couldn’t go with them, not with his mate growing alarmingly weak in his arms.

Hawke’s eyes slid to Sascha, who was starting to draw shallow breaths that sounded like fatal whispers. “What’s wrong with her?” He held his arm out to stop Brenna’s two brothers from leaving the room in pursuit of their quarry. It was an indication of his power that they paused though their eyes had gone wolf.

“She’s dying.” Tamsyn pushed between the males to touch Sascha’s cheek.

Sascha jerked. “Enrique lives in… uh…” Her teeth began to chatter.

“We have the address.” Hawke’s face was a study in the most chilling fury. “I’ll take care of him.” The words were directed at Lucas.

It was time to trust the wolf.

“Complete the plan.” They’d hatched it between them early this morning. It was designed to keep Sascha safe… forever. “Go.” He was entrusting Hawke with his mate’s life. The plan had called for Lucas to ensure this part of their strategy was implemented, but not for anything would he leave Sascha.

“Your Psy belongs to us, too. We won’t fail her.” Hawke moved and the four wolves in the room, along with Dorian and Vaughn, streamed out with him.

Tamsyn dropped a throw around Sascha’s shaking body. “I don’t understand. Your mind should be feeding hers.”

Lucas suddenly understood. “You haven’t tried to initiate a link, have you?” Terror and fury combined to chill his heart.

Sascha smiled and shook her head. “You have to live.”

“You promised!” he yelled, driven beyond patience, beyond anything but demand and need. His mate couldn’t die.

Those beautiful eyes were fading. “I’m sorry.”

“No! No!” He cradled her in his arms, his voice shaking. “Link, damn you! Link!”

Her hand rose to lie against his heartbeat. “Love you.” A single tear fell from eyes gone charcoal gray.

“Tammy! Do something!”

The healer was trembling, her eyes wet. “I can’t, Lucas. She has to…”

“Do it, Sascha!” he ordered, crushing her to him. “ Don’t you leave me .”

She gasped and the fingers on his chest curled. But she didn’t reach out to his mind, didn’t take the step that would complete the mating dance.

“If you don’t, I’ll start taking out the Councilors,” he threatened. “They’ll hunt me down and kill me anyway.”

But his mate was beyond hearing. Her eyes drifted shut and her face smoothed out as her shivers faded.

“No!” His scream was of purest rage. “I won’t let you die! You’re mine and damn if I’m ever going to let you go. You’re mine. Mine .” The panther clawed to the surface and let out a roar that was nothing human.

That was when he felt it. The bond between them snapping taut. The panther recognized the bond, though it had never before felt it. It calmed him enough to let Lucas think, holding fast even as Sascha’s heartbeat stuttered. Lucas closed his eyes and fed her. He didn’t know what he was doing, just knew that as long as the bond stayed strong, Sascha would live.

A minute later, her eyes fluttered open again. The deathly gray was being replaced by dark ebony. “Lucas? What’s happening?”

“You’re going to live.” It was nonnegotiable.

He felt her search for and find the link. Felt her try to cut it—his heart stopped—but it wasn’t something she could influence. This link wasn’t Psy. It was changeling and it was unbreakable. The cat began to smile—her safety was no longer out of his grasp.

“You can’t,” she whispered. “Stop doing what you’re doing. You’re giving me your lifeforce. It’s worse than if I simply accepted the bond and let it keep me alive.”

“Then accept, because I’m not going to stop.” He poured even more of himself into her.

Futility darkened her expression. “Damn you for being so stubborn!”

“Accept.”

Her shoulders fell. She shot back along that bond, dropping the barriers she’d erected in an effort to prevent their mating. Suddenly, she was a rainbow inside him, a sparkling fountain of such beauty that he felt blessed to have been allowed to see her. For one instant, their minds were one and he saw how desperately, how wildly, how unreasonably she loved him—enough to break a promise, to choose death so he could live.

She saw how much her panther adored her, how his heart beat for her alone, how life would turn into death after she was gone. The beast was angry at her for attempting to deny him his mate, and the man was beyond angry, but beneath the anger was hunger, need, love . Such intense, furious love that it had no beginning and no end.

She pulled back with a gasp, allowing their two minds to separate, allowing them to think private thoughts once more. Somehow, Lucas knew that if he should ever ask, she’d open to him again. She was his and he was hers. They had under-the-skin privileges.

Those dark eyes looked up at him. Tears streamed down her face. “I’ve killed you. I’ve killed you. I’ve killed you!”

Sascha knew Lucas was enraged with her but she was too mad to care. How could he have forced her into this? It didn’t matter that the mating bond wasn’t controllable. As far as she was concerned, if he’d accepted her choice, if he’d let her go, it wouldn’t have come into being. Even now, she was sucking his life away so she could be healthy and strong. Her life at the price of his. Damn him!