P.C. Cast: Goddess of Light

Sweet mother of God , was Pamela's first thought. Her second was that she needed to close her mouth. Then she was caught up in a vortex of sight and sound. People crowded what had been built to look like the pretend streets of Rome. Emphasis on the word pretend . It was tacky beyond belief. She and Eddie had emerged between stores that emblazoned Versace and Escada in gilded letters meant to imitate ancient Rome. But instead of evoking old-world elegance, it reminded Pamela of a cartoon caricature. It was like someone had taken a crayon to history and architecture.

"Spectacular, isn't it?" Eddie boomed.

"The… the ceiling has clouds painted all over it," was all she could manage.

Delighted, he nodded. "It is the exact effect I want for the ceiling in my home. Do you see how they have it lit?" He pointed up. The mock facades that fronted the stores were tall, but they did not reach the domed ceiling. It was obvious that atop the fake roofs were spotlights that shined up, illuminating the pretend clouds. "As you see, right now it appears to be midday, which is what I wish for my home. I want it to be perpetual daylight, so that I may write in an eternal sun."

"Oh, God…" The words escaped Pamela's lips before she could think to reclose her mouth.

Eddie's laughter rumbled between them. "You had no idea it would be like this."

"No idea," she agreed numbly.

"Come! The best lies before us." He quickly checked his watch. "We must hurry. There are only five minutes left before the show begins."

"The show?" Pamela forced herself to stop gawking and hurried to catch up with him.

"Yes! It is what I want you to create as the centerpiece of my home. The spectacular fountain."

"You want a fountain inside your home?" Her voice was pitched to be carefully optimistic. She loved water features and believed they were an important part of creating positive chi within a home. Her mind was already whirring… she would hire an excellent artist and create… she glanced up and tried not to grimace… a tasteful version of the sky blue and cotton white paint-by-numbers scenery above them. Then she would offset that garishness with a fabulous fountain. Perhaps one imported directly from Italy. Eddie would like that, after all, The Forum was a play on Rome, so it would be natural to want a fountain from…

They turned to the left, and Pamela stumbled to a horrified halt.

Opening up in front of them was a monstrosity that spewed bubbling water and naked gods and goddesses. Pamela could feel her head shaking back and forth as if it didn't belong to her. It was atrocious. Huge marble horses lunged from the lighted pool as water frothed around them. Zeus or Poseidon or some other naked god stood atop a platform holding a pointed trident as he stared sternly down at the billowing water. Against one side of the fountain diners sat in little cafe tables of an obviously popular Italian restaurant. Pamela wondered how they could hear one another over the roar of the erupting water.

"No, no, no, not this fountain," Eddie touched her back, guiding her easily past the wet hulk. "I have no need for an imitation of Trevi. I want something truly unique."

Relieved, Pamela gave him a weak smile.

"I do not like that, either," Eddie said as they hurried by The Disney Store, which hosted a life-sized Pegasus sticking out of the top of it. "A winged horse seems a little too much to me."

Pamela nodded silently. A winged horse was "a little too much," but a domed ceiling painted to look like the sky lit with eternal sunlight wasn't? She set her jaw. She liked a challenge. Really. She was an excellent, experienced interior designer with a keen sense of taste and style. She liked eccentric clients. No, she reminded herself firmly, she didn't just like them, she preferred them. There was no project so weird or tacky or bizarre that she couldn't take it and whip it into something tasteful and refined.

A crowd of people milled in front of them, from the middle of which a tall man's raised arm caught Pamela's attention.

"Ah, there is James. He has chosen an excellent spot."

Eddie tucked her against him as he plunged into the crowd, propelling them forward like a whale cutting through a school of guppies. When they reached the tall man, Eddie pushed her forward. A little short of breath, she smiled a greeting, but the expression died on her face as she realized where they stood.

It was in front of another massive fountain. This one was shaped like an arabesque window. The center of it was dominated by a gigantic stone man sitting on a throne. Three standing statues ringed the throned figure, but Pamela didn't have a chance to get a clear impression of them because at that instant the eternal sunlight that shined off the domed ceiling faded, and a thick fog began pouring from openings at the base of the throne. Pamela sneezed at the tangy scent of dry ice.

"Bless you!" Eddie said from behind her. Then he leaned down to speak in her ear. "It begins. Watch closely."

Maniacal laughter erupted from the middle of the fountain, and Pamela felt a weird little jolt of shock as she realized that the center statue had become animated. The laughter was issuing from its moving lips. In amazement, Pamela watched as the seated figure swiveled on its dais so that it was facing them.

"It is time! It is time!" The talking statue proclaimed. "I am Bacchus! Come one—Come all! Come to the mall!"

The animated Bacchus lifted his goblet, which suddenly glowed golden. But Pamela spared only a small look at the new special effects. Bacchus' face had captured her attention. She decided he resembled a grotesque reproduction of the Three Stooges' Curly all dressed up in a toga with grape leaves around his bald head and several chins dangling down his neck. More laughter spewed from his mouth as he pretended to drink a toast to the crowd.

"Caesar! Welcome the visitors to our Forum!"

At Bacchus' command, the standing statue that was farthest from them began gesturing with his arms and said something about Bacchus pouring a feast for the crowd.

From where she stood Pamela couldn't quite make out his words. The newly animated arm-flailing statue reminded her of Fred Flintstone.

"Bloody buggering hell," she muttered to herself, using her assistant's favorite oath, "it's like a car wreck."

"On with the party!" Bacchus' statue yelled. "Artemis, speak to your subjects."

The second of the standing statues raised her arm, and Pamela was horrified to notice that her mountainous breasts bobbled in time with her movements.

"From the forest and the hunt only you could entice me to leave—so it is to your Forum that we all must cleave. Shop, drink and be merry—especially if it is Visa that you do carry!" The female voice was tinny sounding, and as she spoke a quiver of arrows and a bow slung over her shoulder glowed an awful neon red.

"Well spoken, my beauty!" Bacchus' head wobbled up and down with a jerky, mechanical movement. "But now it is your brother's turn. Play for the gathering, Apollo!"

The statue directly in front of her began to turn until it was facing the crowd. The harp in Apollo's hands glowed bright green while he stroked it. Music came from a speaker semihidden at Pamela's feet.

"Yes, Bacchus, with my lyre I shall delight and inspire."

"It touches my heart!" Said the fat statue in a canned voice. "Oh, Apollo, what a romantic spell you cast. But enough! It is time to summon the light of day!"

The Apollo statue bowed awkwardly to Bacchus before raising his hand. Abruptly, the domed ceiling came alive with lasers, bouncing in bright colors from cloud to cloud as Bacchus' pleased laughter filled the dry ice air. The slicing lights finally culminated in a burst of brightness that left the fake sky lit as if it was midmorning.