Prompting her to shrug and look away, focusing on nothing in particular, just grazing the hall as she says, “Don’t you ever want to see her pay for all the crap that she’s done?” She turns, regarding me seriously. “I mean, considering all the hell she’s put you through, what with the suspension, the YouTube video— Damen —” She pauses dramatically, hoping for some kind of reaction, but she can pause all she wants, I won’t be reacting anytime soon. “Anyway,” she continues, the words hurried, having read my expression and knowing I’m this close to leaving. “I guess I’m just surprised you’re not jumping on board. If anything, I thought you’d be first in line—well, maybe the second, you know, right behind me.”
I take a deep breath, wanting more than anything to get out of here and on with the better part of my day, but still taking a moment to say, “Yeah, well, here’s the thing, Honor, if you’re gonna choose to look at it that way, then you also gotta admit that you’ve been pretty awful to me too.” She shifts awkwardly, the movement slight but enough to convince me to continue. “In fact, you played a major part in my getting suspended, as you well know, and let’s not forget that it was also you who stood right alongside her in Victoria’s Secret the day she shot the video of me that ended up all over the Internet. And even if it wasn’t your idea, even if all you did was stand by and observe, well, in the scheme of things, it’s pretty much all the same thing. It doesn’t make you any less guilty. Instead, it makes you complicit . Because not trying to stop a bully, and choosing to hang with a bully, pretty much makes you an accessory to everything that bully does in your presence. And yet, you don’t see me harassing you or obsessing on getting revenge, do you? And you know why?” I pause, sensing her interest is way closer to waning than peaking, but forging ahead anyway. “Because it’s not worth it . It’s not worth my time or effort. That’s what karma’s for—to balance it all out in the end. Seriously, you really need to rethink this whole plan of yours. It’s totally misguided and a total waste of your time. Because the fact is, it’s not like you’re all that innocent yourself, and these things have a way of boomeranging right back in ways you’ll never see coming.” I nod, unwilling to add that I happen to know this through my own, very recent, personal experience.
She looks at me, her eyes partially obscured by her bangs as she slowly shakes her head. “ Karma? ” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Well, I hate to break it to you, Ever, but now you’re starting to sound a lot like Jude, what with all of his good mojo and bad mojo talk. But, seriously, maybe you should ask yourself this—when was the last time karma took notice of Stacia?” She lifts a brow. “Because in case you haven’t noticed, she just goes through life doing whatever she wants to whomever she wants. And while you may be fine with all that, and while you may be comfortable playing the victim to her never-ending crap, I’m over it. I’m sick of her games. Did you know that she totally tried to hook up with Craig for no other reason than to hurt me? To show me who’s queen and who’s a permanent number two.”
I gaze at her, not saying a word, the hall emptying out all around us as everyone scrambles to leave. Everyone but us, that is.
But Honor just continues, taking no notice of the time or the fact that we should be getting out of here too. Her voice low and deep when she adds, “Too bad for her, it didn’t work. But still, what kind of friend does something like that?”
“Is that why you guys broke up?” I ask, not really caring either way. I already know the truth about Craig, about his true preferences, I’m just wondering if she knows it too.
“No, we broke up because he’s gay.” She shrugs. “And there’s really no future in that for me. But don’t tell anyone—” She looks at me, face panicked, eager to protect him and keep his secret, but I just wave it away. I have no interest in gossip like that. “Anyway, the thing is, while I’m truly sorry about being— complicit , or whatever it is that you called it, that’s all over now. I have no plans to get in your way, Ever. As long as you stay out of mine.”
I squint, wondering if that was some kind of thinly veiled threat. Just about to inform her that I have way bigger fish to fry, that refereeing her popularity showdown with Stacia is of absolutely no interest to me—when I see Haven.
Standing at the end of the hall, gaze entwining with mine until everything dims but the chill of her energy, the sharp stabbing pierce of her limitless hate, and the curl of her summoning finger.
And the next thing I know, I’m off. Honor’s voice reduced to a vague and distant hum as I chase after the train of Haven’s azure-blue gown. Floating, beckoning, as she disappears around a corner, and I race to keep up.
I stand before the door, eyes closed, taking a moment to engage in one of the fast and simple mini-meditations Ava taught me in order to empower myself. Imagining a radiant white light coursing through my body and seeping through all of my cells, as my fingers anxiously seek the amulet I wear at my neck. The collection of crystals meant to keep me from harm and guard all of my chakras, especially my fifth—the center for the lack of discernment and a misuse of information—my one major weakness that, if targeted, will doom me to the infinite abyss.
Stealing a second to tune in to Damen, to let him know there’s a good chance it’s started, while also reminding him of his promise to stay put unless I specifically call out for his help.
Then I take a deep breath and push my way in, moving across the ugly pink tiled floor, stopping just shy of the row of white sinks that jut out from the wall. My posture relaxed, arms loose by my sides, watching as Haven kicks open the door of every last stall, making sure we’re alone, before she turns, places her hands on her hips, cocks her head to the side, and shoots me an appraising look that does nothing to mar her newly enhanced face.
“And so begins senior year.” She smirks, the sapphire marking the space just above and between her brows, catching the fluorescent light and glinting at me as she smiles in a way that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “How are you finding it so far? Your teachers—your classes—is it everything you dreamed it would be?”
I shrug, refusing to give her anything more, refusing to get caught up in her game. This is the kind of useless word-play Roman loved to engage in, and if I didn’t play it with him, I certainly won’t indulge her.
She continues to study me, not the least bit daunted by my silence. If anything, it only encourages her. “Well, as for me, it’s turning out even better than planned. I’m sure you’ve already noticed how popular I am. In fact, I can’t decide whether to try out for cheerleader, run for class president, or both. What do you think?” She pauses, allowing plenty of time for me to weigh in, but when I don’t, she just shrugs and continues. “I mean, let’s face it, not to be all full of myself but there’s really no doubt I can do anything I want now. Surely you’ve noticed the way people look at me, the way they follow me around. It’s like—” Her eyes light up, her cheeks flush bright pink, and she wraps her arms around her middle, hugging herself in a burst of conceit. “It’s like I’m a rock star or something—they just can’t get enough of me!”
I sigh, loud enough for her to hear. Meeting her overconfident gaze with a look of complete and total boredom when I say, “Trust me, I’ve noticed.” Instantly wiping the triumphant smile from her face when I add, “Too bad it’s not real. I mean, you are aware of that, right? You’re making it happen. You’re deliberately luring them to you, robbing them of choice, of their own free will, just like Roman used to do. It’s not the real deal.”
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