Vivian Arend - Wolf Tracks

Shit . The relaxed peace faded a little. There was such a short time left before their ride appeared to return them to civilization, and she still didn’t know what to do. “Thinking about everything you’ve shown me. You know, the mating list and all.”

He strummed softly for a minute, the light melody from the finger-picked strings floating around them. He meant to soothe her, she was sure of it, but as the now-familiar tune he played filled her ears and her heart, tears threatened. It was the same song he’d sung to her at the wedding, with eternal love and new hope all tied up in it.

She wanted more and more to believe.

TJ leaned back on the upper porch railing. “There’s this older couple who run the Chilkat Bakery in town. Both human. I think they said they’ve been married for fifty-five years.”

Pam glanced at him with suspicion. Where was this going? “So?”

He placed the guitar aside and joined her on the swing. “You ever seen a couple like that? Married for so long, they seem to read each other’s minds?” He wrapped a hand around her neck to massage the tight muscles. “They seem to know exactly what the other person needs at any time.”

“Are you saying humans can have a mating connection? I’ve never heard that before in my life.”

“Okay, maybe it’s not exactly the same thing, but it must be fairly close. I’ve seen it. They know each other so deeply they anticipate each other’s thoughts, and needs. That’s what it’s like for wolves—the only thing that seems to be different is how quickly it happens. For wolves, it’s instant. In humans, I’ve seen it in couples who have been together for a long time.”

Pam bit her lip. Frick . Again, him with the logic. She couldn’t fight logic, and yet the ball of fear in her belly didn’t want to disappear.

“What are your parents like?”

She turned toward him. Yeah, he knew all the right buttons to push, far better than any person she’d met before. Not even Maggie had asked about her family that quickly. “We’re divorced.”

TJ’s face fell. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so I guess they’re not a great example.” He stopped and stared at her for second. “Hang on, what do you mean ‘we’re divorced’?”

Pam dragged a hand through her hair. “They got divorced when I was about ten, and proceeded to make my life miserable. They both screwed up holiday plans to get revenge on the other. They fought over me like a dog with a bone, but when they had time with me they ignored me, or seemed to begrudge the fact they had to expend energy on my stuff.”

“By the time I was sixteen I’d had enough. I divorced them and went to live with my gramma who was completely disgusted with them both. She passed away when I was nineteen. I’ve been on my own ever since.”

She said it simply, a statement of fact. Taking control of her life ten years ago at such a young age had been hard, but she’d had to do it. It had been the right thing, she was sure.

TJ kissed her temple softly, then nestled her under his arm. He linked their fingers together and rested their joined hands in his lap. “Do you ever see your parents?”

She shook her head. “And it’s not because I’m hiding from them. Honestly, I’m not bitter or wishing them ill anymore. I cut the ties and decided I was responsible for my own happiness. They just don’t seem to give a damn. I think I remind them of each other or something, and they hate each other with a vengeance.” She shrugged.

He grimaced. “So telling you stories about human happily-ever-afters…”

Pam leaned back on him and sighed. “Sheer fantasy. Werewolves are a whole lot more believable.” A whole lot more desirable as well, from what she could tell. TJ appeared to know exactly who he was and where he stood. Had he gained that confidence from being a wolf?

TJ stroked her fingers gently with his thumb. “I’ve had the pack around me all my life. While I get razzed a great deal for being clumsy, they’ve always supported me. My brother, my friends, heck…everyone.”

“You’re not clumsy.”

He laughed out loud. “Okay, there’s another topic for discussion. Umm, yes, I am. For some reason I’m not nearly as bad when I’m around you.” He nuzzled her neck. “That ‘you complete me’ thing.”

She slapped him lightly. “Get out. I think you’re like a puppy coming into his growth. You should have seen the trouble my first dog had—”

He groaned. “Can we make a deal now that you don’t compare me to your previous dogs. Please?”

A snort slipped out. “We’ll see.”

She twisted to stare at him. His earnest expression stole her heart.

“Pam, can you give me a clue here? Have I persuaded you at all what I said is true? That we’re mates?”

Her fears and doubts scrambled to stay above the undeniable bond between them that grew stronger every moment she spent with him.

“Can’t you tell what I’m thinking with that wolf connection of yours?” She couldn’t speak over a whisper, the effort of pushing the words out enormous. She wanted to believe, wanted it so very much.

He surprised her by lifting her into his lap and tucking her head against his chest before setting the porch swing rocking. He surrounded her with his arms as if pulling a shield of protection around them. “I sense all kinds of things from you, and yet your emotions are so jumbled I can’t understand. Fear, longing, sexual need. At times I feel as if you’re about to announce you love me. The next minute you’re planning to tell me goodbye and expect I’ll drop you at the airport and let you go without a word of protest.”

Umm, yup, that would about cover the gamut of chaos running through her brain the past couple days.

“Do you really pick up all those things, or are you guessing?”

It was his turn to sigh. “I can’t literally read your mind, and we can’t speak to each other mentally. But as far as I can tell, I’m just about as linked to you in terms of a mate connection as I could dream of.”

“I feel like I’ve known you all my life.” The whispered confession eased the tightness inside a little. He squeezed her gently and kissed the top of her head. His heart thumped solidly under her ear, and she snuck her arms around his torso to draw as close as possible.

TJ sang to her a capella , his rich voice tickling her ears. Filling her with hope and a deep longing.

My love will never fade, it lingers like the light.

Fills all the mountaintops, burning ever bright.

My love is like the tide, fresh and clean each day.

It’s pure and strong, and all that I can say—

You fill my days, you fill my nights, you’re everything, all I need,

Forever

My love is like the spring, it lingers like the snow.

It only melts away, to bring new growth.

My love is like the wind, running wild and free.

Together now, won’t you come with me—

You fill my days, you fill my nights, you’re everything, all I need,

Forever

He let the words trail off, the intensity of his song wrapped up with all the things she felt from him. His tender heart. His humour. Plain spoken and blunt, but never cruel, he was all the things she admired in a friend. All the things she wanted in a lover.

Her final doubts dissolved. Logic had a place in this, and he’d done his best to show her the mate list existed and examples of each item. But at some point, the heart had to take over from the head and that moment was now.

She pressed her palm against his cheek and kissed him softly before crawling off his lap and holding out her hand.