Becca Fitzpatrick: Silence

“You’re cold,” Hank said patiently. “Tired. Hungry. Swear the vow, and let’s end this.”

“If I swear the vow, and you end up living, as I suspect you will, I want you to swear your own oath. I want you to leave town and disappear from my mom’s life forever.”

“Done.”

“And I want to call Patch first.”

He barked a laugh. “ No. Though I see you’ve finally come clean about him. You can break the news to him after you’ve sworn the vow.”

Not surprising. But I’d had to try.

I put all the defiance I possessed into my words. “I won’t swear the vow for you.” I cast my eyes toward the window once more. “But I will for her.”

“Cut yourself,” Hank instructed, placing a switchblade in my hand. “Swear on your blood to become a purebred Nephil and direct my army upon my death. If you break the oath, confess your punishment. Your death … and your mother’s.”

I locked eyes with him. “That wasn’t the deal.”

“It is now. And it expires in five seconds. The next deal will include your friend Vee’s death too.”

I glared at him in rage and disbelief, but it was the worst I could do. He had me trapped.

“You first,” I ordered.

If it weren’t for the determination etched on his face, he might have looked amused. Pricking his skin, he said, “If I live beyond the next month, I vow to leave Coldwater and never come into contact with you or your mother again. If I break this vow, I command my body to turn to dust.”

Taking the blade, I screwed the knife tip into my palm, shaking a few drops of blood loose, as I remembered Patch doing in his memory. I said a silent prayer that he’d be able to forgive me for what I was about to do. That in the end, we had a love that would transcend blood and race. I stopped my thoughts there, afraid I wouldn’t go through with it if I allowed myself to think of Patch further. With my heart ripping in two different directions, I retreated to some hollow place within and faced the appalling task at hand.

“I swear now, with this new blood running through my veins, that I am no longer human, but a purebred Nephil. And if you die, I’ll lead your army. If I break this promise, I understand my mom and I are both as good as dead.” The vow seemed far too simple for the weight of its consequences, and I turned my steely gaze toward Hank. “Did I do it right? Is that all I have to say?”

With a shrewd nod, he told me all I needed to know.

My life as a human was over.

I didn’t remember leaving Hank, or walking away from his warehouse with my mom, who was so heavily drugged she could barely walk. How I got from that tiny room onto the dark streets outside was a blur. My mom shivered violently and muttered indistinct sounds into my ear. I vaguely noted that I, too, was cold. Frost hung brittle in the air, my breath condensing a silvery white. If I didn’t find shelter soon, I was afraid my mom would suffer hypothermia.

I didn’t know if my situation was as dire. I didn’t know anything anymore. Could I freeze to death? Could I die? What exactly had changed with the vow? Everything?

A car sat abandoned on the street ahead, its tires police-marked for removal, and with little thought, I tested the door. In the first stroke of luck all night, it was unlocked. I laid my mom out gently in the backseat, then went to work on the wires beneath the steering wheel. After several attempts, the engine sputtered to life.

“Don’t worry,” I murmured to my mom. “We’re going home. It’s over. It’s all over.” I said the words more to myself, and I believed them because I needed to. I couldn’t think about what I’d done. I couldn’t think about how slow or painful the transformation would happen when it finally triggered. If it needed to be triggered. If there was more to face.

Patch. I’d have to face him, and I’d have to confess what I’d done. I wondered if I’d ever feel his arms around me again. How could I expect this not to change everything? I wasn’t simply Nora Grey anymore. I was a purebred Nephil. His enemy.

I stomped the brake as a pale object staggered into the road ahead. The car swerved to a stop. A pair of eyes swung my way. The girl stumbled, got up, and tottered to the far side of the road, clearly trying to run, but too traumatized to coordinate her movements. The girl’s clothes were ripped, her face frozen in terror.

“Marcie?” I asked out loud.

Automatically, I reached across the console, pushing the passenger door open. “Get in!” I commanded her.

Marcie stood there, squeezing her arms around her middle, making small whimpering sounds.

I ejected myself out of the car, ran around to her, and folded her inside the seat. She stuck her head between her knees, breathing much too fast. “I’m — going — to — vomit.”

“What are you doing here?”

She continued to gulp air.

I dropped behind the wheel and stepped on the gas, not having any desire to hang around this derelict area of town any longer. “Do you have your phone?”

She made a choked sound at the back of her throat.

“In case you missed it, we’re in a bit of a hurry,” I said more sharply than I’d intended, now that I fully realized just who I’d picked up. Hank’s daughter. My sister, if I really wanted to go there. My lying, betraying, fool of a sister. “Phone? Yes or no? ”

She moved her head, but I couldn’t tell if it was a shake or a nod.

“You’re mad at me for stealing the necklace,” she said, barely coherent between hiccups. “My dad tricked me. He made me think it was a prank we’d play on you together. I left the note on your pillow that night to scare you. ‘You’re not safe.’ My dad put some kind of enchantment on me so you couldn’t see me sneak in. He also did something to the ink so it would disappear after you read the note. I thought it would be funny. I wanted to watch you unravel. I wasn’t thinking. I went along with everything my dad said. It was like he had this power over me.”

“Listen to me, Marcie,” I told her firmly. “I’m going to get us out of here. But if you have a phone, I could really use it right now.”

With trembling hands, she pried open her purse. She rummaged around, then produced her cell phone. “He tricked me,” she said, tears leaking from the edges of her eyes. “I thought he was my dad. I thought he — loved me. If it makes a difference, I didn’t give him the necklace. I was going to. I brought it to his warehouse tonight, just like he told me to. But then … but in the end … when I saw that girl in the cage …” She trailed off.

I didn’t want to feel anything resembling empathy for Marcie. I didn’t want her in the car, period. I didn’t want her to rely on me, or vice versa. I didn’t want any kind of bond between us, but somehow, all of the above managed to be true despite what I wanted.

“Please give me the phone,” I said softly.

Marcie pushed her phone into my hand. Curling her legs up to her chest, she sobbed quietly into her knees.

I dialed Patch. I had to tell him Hank didn’t have the necklace. And I had to tell him the horrible truth about what I’d done. With each ring, I felt the barrier I’d thrown up, just to get through this , break down. I pictured Patch’s face when I told him the truth, the image freezing me. My lip wobbled and my breath caught.

His voice mail kicked on and I called Vee.

“I need your help,” I told her. “I need you to watch my mom and Marcie.” I pulled the phone slightly away from my ear in response to the noise on her end. “Yes, Marcie Millar. I’ll explain everything later.”

IT WAS CLOSE TO THREE A.M. I DROPPED OFF MARCIE and my mom, leaving them in Vee’s care without any explanation. I’d shaken my head firmly when Vee demanded answers, carefully compartmentalizing every emotion. I’d left without a word, intending to find a remote road where I could be alone, but soon it became clear that my aimless driving had a clear destination after all.