Amanda Ashby - You Had Me at Halo

Holly scratched her head. “You know I’m still not really following you. What’s a service record?”

“Why it’s the record of how you perform for The Company: the better your performance, the better your record. Obviously a job with a high degree of skill will improve your record.”

“Right, so you’re saying I need a job if I want to get there quickly?” To be honest Holly felt a little bit disappointed. After going back to Baker Colwell, it had become increasingly obvious that corporate life wasn’t for her. Yet apparently she was going to have to go back to the rat race again.

“Er yes. More or less.”

“Fine, so where’s the human resources place in this joint?”

“You don’t need to go there.” Dr. Hill picked up the machine again. “It analyses you and works out what you should do.”

Of course it did. Holly groaned before realizing that Dr. Hill wasn’t quite returning her gaze. “It’s bad news, isn’t it.”

“Of course it isn’t,” he said a little bit too quickly. “The thing is Miss Evans, not all jobs are glamorous. Or comfortable, but remember what I was saying before: high risk is high reward.”

Not glamorous? Not comfortable? Was he talking about working down a mine pit or something? Even if she couldn’t feel anything but divine happiness right now, she was pretty certain once she broke her first nail it would all be downhill.

“Fine, tell me what the stupid thing says then. I know you want to,” she said in a resigned voice.

He shot her a pained look. “It seems to think you’d be a good Mole.”

She knew it. He freaking-well wanted to send her down a mine. Unbelievable. Just because she’d been a big muscley boy with a rock hard stomach and biceps to kill for, was no reason to think she liked digging. Or getting dirty for that matter.

She was getting punished after all.

“I know it’s not everyone’s idea of a dream job,” he admitted, obviously reading the disappointment on her face. “But if you want to see your parents sooner, it might be worth considering.”

“You’re right,” she said with a sigh. “Tell me the worst.”

“The thing is you have to live on earth…”

“What?”

What?

“I told you it wasn’t ideal. Especially since you’ve only just been purged. Most people can’t even bear the thought of losing their celestial happiness and being turned back into a corporeal body again. All the messy emotions, the pollution, the politics. But the machine has calculated you have an eighty-five percent chance of adapting to the transition. The highest percentage ever recorded is eighty-seven percent, so you can imagine why my bosses were so keen for me to discuss this with you.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Holly narrowed her eyes and stared at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Of course not.” The doctor looked confused. “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, perhaps the same reason you sent me back to earth in a guy’s body. When the guy was still in it.”

He looked hurt. “I thought we’d moved on from that?”

“We have, but I’m not sure why else you are acting like this is a horrible job.”

Dr. Hill ran his chubby fingers through a red curl and studied her face. “ You mean the idea doesn’t repulse you? ”

Oh now she understood. It was a trick. “I can’t believe you almost got me,” she groaned. “There’s a catch, isn’t there? I can only go back as…a tree…oh no, wait…a horse. Well, I’m not falling for that one again .”

“Of course not.” Dr. Hill looked offended. “Your main duties as a Mole is to go back to earth and live a normal life, while keeping us updated on certain things.”

“What sort of things? I mean I’m not that crash hot with politics, and I don’t think I’d be able to break a secret code if it was spelt out to me in a Cosmo magazine, so I’m not quite sure what I could do?”

Dr. Hill smiled. “The Company gathers all sorts of intelligence. Anything from eating trends, whether family values are changing through to the latest fashion collections.”

“And I can go back as Holly Evans, aged twenty-two years old and living at thirty-four Windsor Street,” Holly double-checked, still not quite able to take it all in.

“That’s right.” He didn’t seem to notice her incredulity. “

“So you’re seriously giving me the chance to go back and live a normal life, without death?”

“Well of course you won’t die when you’re already dead. But there will be some point when you move onto another position in The Company, or even another level. But in earth years it covers more than a natural life span.”

“I’ll take it,” Holly blurted out.

Dr. Hill widened his eyes in surprise. “Generally people like to spend some time thinking it over or at least reading the rulebook. Then there is the question of your parents. Even on the accelerated program, you do realize it will be quite some time before you can see them.”

“The whole time I was down there I was determined to clear my name so that my dad didn’t think I’d tried to commit suicide again. I wanted him to know how hard I had been working to make amends. Of course, I should’ve realized that I didn’t really need to tell him any of that stuff. He already knows, doesn’t he?”

“So proud.” Dr. Hill sniffed as he fanned his face with his hands. “You really are my star pupil and yes you’re right. Your father knows exactly what kind of person you are Holly, and I think that you finally do as well.”

Holly grinned for a minute as she clutched her photograph. “Yeah, I think I do…and now, about this new job of mine. Send me back already.”

The scalding coffee burnt her tongue as she forced herself to swallow it. Well, wasn’t that just typical of heaven. They were clever enough to send her back through time to the day she died, and even went to all the trouble of wiping everyone’s memory but her own. But did they think to stop Amy Jenkins from slipping her the motion sickness tablets? Er, no.

“Holly, should you really be drinking so much caffeine before the ball tonight? You don’t want to be jumping around like a grasshopper.” Her stepmother appeared from the lounge room, clutching a camera as she raised a questioning eyebrow at the three other empty cups sitting on the bench.

Holly took another gulp of steaming hot liquid. “I’ve just been feeling a little bit tired. I thought it might wake me up,” she improvised.

“I see. Well, it was nice of you to stop by before you go out. I wasn’t expecting it. You used to like spending all your time in the bath to get ready for a big night out.”

“I guess I just thought it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you. I should’ve come sooner.” Holly said as she tried to ignore the fact she did feel like a long soak in the tub, especially after the week she’d just had. Except until the pills were out of her system she had decided it was probably safest not to. Technically, Dr. Hill had said she couldn’t die again, but since she still hadn’t had a chance to read the rulebook yet, she wasn’t taking any chances with the fine print. Been there, done that, and almost got kissed by another girl to prove it.

“I know you’ve busy.” Her stepmother smiled. “You don’t have to explain. I hope you don’t mind if I take a photograph of you though, you look wonderful. Todd’s a lucky guy.”

Oh, that freak-faced waste of space loser.

She sucked down the last dregs of coffee and tried not to screw up her nose at the bitter aftertaste. “Actually, Todd and I broke up this afternoon.”

“Oh, Holly.” Her stepmother’s face was now a picture of genuine concern and again Holly wondered how she had failed to notice this for so long.