J.R. Ward: Rapture

Not because she’d hit him with her car, though. No, he’d been broken for a while.

Maybe his memory was coming back?

“I’m so sorry,” she said again.

“Is that how you…” He motioned up to his own face, but the gesture just made her focus on him—and her wince suggested it was tough for her to look at how ugly he was. “You were hurt, too.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Have the police come and talked to you yet?”

“Just woke up. Don’t know.”

She took her hand from his and rummaged around in a bag the size of a small duffel. “Here. This is my card. They spoke with me while I was getting treated, and I told them I accept all responsibility.”

She turned the thing to face him, except his vision refused to focus.

And he didn’t want to look anywhere but into her eyes.

“What’s your name?”

“Mels Carmichael. Well, Melissa.” She touched her own chest. “I go by Mels.”

As she put the card on the little rolling table, he frowned, even though it made his head pound. “How were you hurt?”

“Call me if you need anything? I don’t have a lot of money, but I—”

“You weren’t wearing a seat belt, were you.”

The woman looked around like maybe she’d gotten that from the police earlier. “Ah…”

“You should wear a seat belt—”

The door burst open, and the nurse who strode in was all business, making like she owned the place.

“I’m right here,” she announced, as she marched over to the machinery behind the bed. “I heard the alarm.”

His immediate impression was of a lot of breasts. Tiny little waist. Long brunette hair thick as a duvet, shiny as a china plate.

And yet she made his skin crawl. To the point where he tried to sit up, so he could get the hell away from—

“Shh…it’s okay.” As the nurse smiled, she all but shoved Mels Carmichael away. “I’m here to help.”

Black eyes. Black eyes that reminded him of something else, somewhere else—a prison where you were choked by darkness, incapable of getting free—

The nurse leaned down, bringing them closer together. “I’m going to take care of you.”

“No,” he said strongly. “No, you will not….”

“Oh, yes, I will.”

Warnings shifted around the edges of his consciousness, things he couldn’t quite capture sending up alarms like smoke trails before bombs exploded. He got nowhere with any specifics. His memories were like camouflaged bunkers in a landscape viewed with night goggles; he knew his enemy had set up fortifications, but damned if he could visualize them in any detail.

“If you don’t mind,” his nurse said to Mels, “I need to take care of my patient.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. I’ll just…yeah, I’ll go.” Mels leaned around the other woman to glance at him. “I guess…I’ll talk to you later.”

Matthias had to look around the nurse as well, his stomach muscles clenching as he shifted his weight—

The nurse blocked the view. “Close the door behind you, will you. That’d be great. Thanks.”

And then they were alone.

The nurse smiled at him and leaned her hip on the edge of the bed. “How about we clean you up.”

Not a question. And, man, he suddenly felt naked—and not in a good way.

“I’m not dirty,” he said.

“Yes, you are.” She put her hand on his forearm, right where the IV lines went into his vein. “You are filthy.”

From out of nowhere, strength began to funnel into him, the energy burrowing in and inflating his flesh with health, sure as if he had had good nights of sleep and days filled with rest and plenty of food.

It was coming from her, he realized. Except…how was that possible?

“What are you doing to me?”

“Nothing.” The nurse smiled. “Do you feel different?”

Staring into her eyes, the dense, cloying black seemed as irresistible as it was repulsive—and he didn’t know how long they stood there like that, linked by her hand, that one-way exchange like a miracle drug.

“I know you,” he thought out loud.

“Funny when you feel that way about a stranger.”

The power entering him felt evil, and very familiar. “I don’t want—”

“Don’t want what, Matthias? Don’t want to feel better, be stronger, live forever?” She eased down even closer. “Are you telling me you don’t want to be a man again?”

His lips started to move, but nothing came out, a sluggishness coming over him as she retracted her touch. Hazy and confused, he tried to rouse himself, but it was as if, in the aftermath, he’d been drugged.

“I’m going to wash you now,” she said, her lids lowering, her smile speaking of blow jobs, instead of bedpans.

As she went over to the equivalent of a bar sink, Matthias inhaled, his ribs expanding without pain, his exhale even and smooth. All the aching had gone away, giving him a sense that it had been years since he’d inhabited his body without difficulty. Centuries?

“What date is it?” he mumbled as she ran water into a basin.

The nurse glanced over her shoulder. “That’s right. You have amnesia.”

A moment later she reapproached the bed, bringing the rolling table with her. As she pulled the sheets down to his hips and loosened the ties on his johnny, he lifted his heavy head and stared at himself. The top half wasn’t so bad, just a scar here and there. Lower half was a mess.

The washcloth was soft and warm.

As the nurse stroked his chest, her skin was so smooth and glowing, it was like it had been airbrushed, and her hair was impossibly thick and luscious. She even had lips like a piece of fruit, glossy, with the promise of sweetness.

I don’t want her, he thought.

But he couldn’t seem to move.

“You need to put some weight on,” she commented, drawing the washcloth over his pecs. “Too thin.”

That stretch of terry went ever lower, lingering across his abdominals, more lover than health care provider. And with sudden clarity, he knew there had been a time when she would have been impressed—those women he’d contracted with for sexual exercise had always been struck by his body back in the day—

Wait, was this really happening?

When she went to push the covers down further, he stopped her. “No, don’t.”

“Yes, definitely.”

With her eyes locked on his, she removed his hand from her wrist and wrenched everything off. The violence in the act made him stir somewhere deep—why, he didn’t know.

“Did I strike a chord,” she said, even though she knew she had. Somehow…she knew he’d liked things dangerous. “Did I. Matthias.”

“Maybe.” His voice was stronger all of a sudden. Deeper….

“How about now?”

She touched him on that place that defined his gender, the cloth rasping over his cock.

As she licked her lips like she was enticed, he had to laugh out loud. For whatever inexplicable reason she was breaking all kinds of protocol, she was about to get a whole lot of going-nowhere—and that was going to solve the problem of his not wanting this: It didn’t matter if she got herself good and naked and did jumping jacks on top of him; that flaccid stretch of flesh wasn’t going to stand up and notice.

Even with the amnesia, he knew that like he knew he couldn’t see out of one eye. It was fact; not a recollection.

“My memory isn’t the only thing I’ve lost,” he said dryly.

“Really.”

When she stroked where she shouldn’t, he jumped. But then, impotence didn’t mean you had no feeling. Just meant you couldn’t do anything about—

That river of power tunneled into him again, this time stronger. And with a moan, he arched back, automatically rolling his hips up to the source.

“That’s right,” she said, her voice warping. “Feel me. I’m in you.”