Helen Douglas - After Eden

All the lights in the farmhouse were blazing and Ben stood in the open doorway, a halo of light around him.

‘Mission accomplished!’ yelled Ryan as we approached.

Ben hugged Ryan and slapped his back. ‘Was it difficult?’

‘Eden took care of everything. Connor went on to the roof of the school with the telescope from the science lab! Eden tackled him and destroyed the telescope in the process.’

Ben laughed and shook his head. ‘Despite everything we’ve changed, he was still planning on looking up at the stars through a telescope tonight of all nights. It makes you wonder if there’s any such thing as free will.’

Cassie appeared alongside Ben. ‘Everything is ready to go.’ She checked her watch. ‘Ten minutes till departure.’

‘Then we’d better say our goodbyes,’ said Ben. He pulled me in for a big bear hug. ‘You’re an amazing girl,’ he said. ‘I still can’t believe how you’ve taken so much in your stride. Thank you for being such a good friend to all of us.’

‘Thank you for letting me,’ I said. ‘I know that my finding out about everything left you with some tough decisions. Thank you for trusting me.’

‘Ryan didn’t exactly give us a choice,’ he said, laughing. ‘But he was right to trust you.’

Ben released me from his grip and held me at arm’s length. ‘I know I don’t need to ask you this,’ he said, looking deep into my eyes. ‘But don’t forget to keep all this secret, will you?’

‘Of course not,’ I said.

‘Have a good life.’

‘You too,’ I said. ‘Look up my grandchildren. Or my great-grandchildren.’

‘I intend to.’

I tensed at the thought that my future was out there somewhere, lying ahead of me, unlived, unknown, unimagined, but that in a few minutes’ time Ben and Ryan would be able to find out exactly what I had done with my life, exactly what I would do.

Cassie shook my hand. ‘Take care of my great-grandfather.’

‘I will.’

Ryan took my hand and pulled me to him, so that the full length of our bodies was pressed together. He looped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight. I could feel the warmth of his arms against my own cooler skin, the warmth of his body through his shirt and my dress. He kissed me hard, with the urgency and passion I realised meant goodbye. For ever. I felt myself flush. Ryan seemed oblivious to anyone else, but I was acutely aware that we had an audience.

Cassie cleared her throat loudly. ‘How long is this goodbye going to take? Should we sit down with a cup of coffee and come back later?’

Ryan ignored her and looked at me. ‘I’m going to miss you so much.’

‘I’m going to miss you too.’ I put my lips to his ear. ‘When you get back, dig up the time capsule. I wrote you a letter.’

‘You did?’ He looked surprised.

Cassie sighed loudly. ‘Five minutes to go, Ry. Have you finished your goodbyes or are you planning to go back for an encore?’

He kissed me lightly on the lips. ‘Goodbye, Eden.’

‘Goodbye,’ I said, swallowing hard, determined not to spoil our last moments with tears.

He looked at the watch on my wrist. ‘It’s four minutes to midnight,’ he said. ‘It will take us about twenty seconds to leave. Go inside and sit down. Wait until two minutes after midnight.’ He smiled apologetically. ‘Temporal Laws and all that.’

I nodded, no longer trusting myself to speak.

‘Ry!’ shouted Cassie.

He released me and followed her behind the garage to the back garden.

I went inside the house and sat at the kitchen table. If I was in a film, if I was a different person, I would have raced outside and around the back of the garage yelling at them to stop, wait, and take me with them. I would have told Ryan that I didn’t want to live without him. And I would have told him that I loved him.

But I wasn’t like that. I was practical and sensible. I knew that I had obligations here in Penpol Cove in my own time. So I sat at the kitchen table as I’d been told and stared at my watch as it ticked away the minutes till midnight, while Ryan, Cassie and Ben prepared to travel forward in time.

I did quite well. I watched the second hand make three complete revolutions before I went outside. I didn’t run. I walked calmly through the garden and around the back of the garage.

Directly in front of me, a huge translucent disc vibrated and shimmered. Through it I could see a blurry vision of a grey vehicle. The disc vibrated faster and the image beyond it blurred further. After a few seconds the disc appeared to stop vibrating and the blurry image disappeared. A flash of light blinded me. And then the disc collapsed inwards until it vanished. All that remained in front of me was the lawn.

I walked back to the front garden and our apple tree and sat beside it. My watch told me that it was thirty seconds after midnight. In another ninety seconds he would be back in his own time. I watched the second hand of my watch tick away. At precisely two minutes past midnight I gazed up at the clear night sky. High above me was the constellation Perseus with its demon star Algol. Out there somewhere was Eden, the birthplace of the most perfect boy in the universe. Ryan was gone. And it would be months before I would once again see the constellation Orion, his name written across the sky in stars. I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply. Where was he now? Was he thinking about me? I liked to imagine him sitting in the garden beside me, separated only by time.

I woke early, the cheery sunshine bringing me back to the depressing reality of the rest of my life. I was sixteen. I wouldn’t live for another hundred and ten years, no matter how well I took care of myself. And if, by some miracle, I did live for a hundred and ten years, I would be the crinkliest, most wrinkled old woman on the planet. I would be one hundred and twenty-six. He would be seventeen.

I made another calculation. If I Iived until one hundred and nine, I would be around when he was born. I could see him as a baby. Of course the chances of living to a hundred and nine were not much better than living to one hundred and twenty-six. And the whole idea was, frankly, sick.

There would be no happy ending for Ryan and me.

Tears pricked the back of my eyes and I knew that if I didn’t take steps to pull myself together now, I would end up wallowing in a full-on pity-fest.

I heaved myself out of bed. My green dress was in a heap on the floor. I draped it on a hanger and hung it on my wardrobe door. At some point I would take it to the dry-cleaners.

I threw open my curtains. The rising sun was like a wound, staining the clouds a deep red and slowly spreading across the horizon. Red sky in the morning, shepherds’ warning . That meant bad weather would be arriving later. It didn’t look like bad weather. In fact, it looked sunny and hot – perfect beach weather. After breakfast I would call Connor and make plans for the day. Then with a shudder I remembered the night before. Perhaps he wouldn’t want to talk to me. I put on a short blue beach dress and then, as Cornish weather typically changes direction several times a day, tied a warm hoodie round my shoulders.

The smell of grilled bacon was drifting up the stairs, the only smell that could still tempt my vegetarian taste buds after six years of abstaining. Travis. He had started staying over at the weekends recently and he loved a full English on Sunday mornings.

I dragged myself downstairs into the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t in the mood for Travis’s sarcasm and I didn’t think I could stomach Miranda’s cheery questions about the ball.

Miranda was standing at the stove, pushing food around a hot, oily frying pan. Travis was standing just outside the back door, a half-smoked cigarette dangling between his lips. He removed it when he saw me and smirked.