Sarah Durst: Conjured

“If she knew why—”

“End of conversation,” Malcolm said. “We are not talking about this here and now. Or ever, really, but expressly not here and now. Pick another topic. Weather report said it was supposed to rain, but it’s not raining yet.”

“Scattered showers,” Aunt Nicki said. “Mostly cloudy tonight.”

“See? Not so hard,” Malcolm said. “Stay here. And behave.” He stepped out of the car and went inside the Dunkin’ Donuts. Eve had thought she had all her recent memories of the agency. She should be able to remember something as specific and simple as eating a jelly donut last week. She felt her ribs squeeze tight together. Her hands balled into fists, and her nails dug into her palms. Aunt Nicki had said seven months. What else was in those seven months?

Aunt Nicki tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as they waited for Malcolm. In an overly bright voice, she said, “So, tell me, Eve, how did you like the library?”

Gulping in oxygen, Eve focused on what she could remember: the smell of the library books, the sound of Zach’s voice … He let words spill out as if his brain were a faucet always turned on. She didn’t think she said that many words in a week. But Aunt Nicki was waiting for an answer. “Fine,” Eve said.

“Fabulous,” Aunt Nicki said.

Eve concentrated on keeping her breathing even. She felt as if she were shaking inside, her organs rattling against her bones.

Aunt Nicki tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and watched the donut-store door. “You know that Malcolm is an optimist.”

“You could tell me what you think I should know.” Eve fought to keep her voice steady and mild. All the while she continued to dig her nails into her palms.

“You’re Malcolm’s case,” Aunt Nicki said. “It’s his call.”

“I don’t remember eating a jelly donut,” Eve said, her voice a whisper.

Aunt Nicki was silent for a moment. “I know.”

Malcolm returned with two coffees and a donut bag. He tossed the bag to Eve and positioned the two coffees in the car’s cupholders. He looked from Eve to Aunt Nicki and back to Eve. “What did I miss?”

Eve clutched the bag to her chest. Her hands shook.

“Trading beauty secrets,” Aunt Nicki said. She put the car in reverse, and they peeled out of the parking lot. Ten minutes later, Aunt Nicki pulled up to a featureless gray garage with a guard booth. There was nothing to indicate that this building housed a branch of WitSec, the Witness Security Program. A blue-uniformed guard checked her ID and Malcolm’s and shined a flashlight at Eve’s face, and then the garage door rattled up. Aunt Nicki drove in, and it lowered behind them. She pulled into a parking spot, diagonal again.

“You could straighten the car,” Malcolm commented.

“You could have driven.”

“Just saying, the next person is likely to think it’s straight and pull out and—”

“Maybe have to turn the wheel. Yeah, that would be so terrible. I don’t think so. Parking perfectionist. You have issues.” Aunt Nicki and Malcolm both stepped out of the car. This time, Eve didn’t get to enjoy the moment of silence when they both shut their doors; Malcolm yanked hers open immediately. She wished she had a moment to regroup. Or a day. Or a year.

Still clutching the bag with the jelly donut, she stepped out of the car. She regretted it instantly. Cage , she thought. Her eyes darted around the garage. Walls, close. Ceiling, low. She headed for the door, striding quickly.

“Look at that, she remembers the way,” Malcolm said softly behind her.

“She’s been here enough,” Aunt Nicki said.

“Not this level. Usually we park on C.”

“Whoo-hoo, it’s a miracle,” Aunt Nicki said. “You read too much into everything.”

“And you have the patience of a five-year-old.”

“Part of my charm,” Aunt Nicki said. “Just for the record, I don’t approve of any of this. You’re taking too big a risk.”

His mouth quirked. “Lou believes I don’t risk enough.”

“He just wants different kinds of risks, whereas I think you’re both insane.”

Eve halted in front of the door. She wanted in. Now! She pushed on the door. It didn’t budge. Malcolm reached around her and waved his ID card in front of a panel, and then the door unlocked with a snick sound.

Inside wasn’t much better.

Bright lights filled the hall and reflected off silver-and-white walls. The air tasted stale. She didn’t think she’d ever noticed that before, but it felt like chalk on her tongue. Outside tasted damp. Home tasted mildewy. The library tasted like warm dust.

“Let her lead,” Malcolm said.

“Lead where?” Aunt Nicki asked.

“Out,” Eve said. She counted her steps—twenty-five to the elevator. She pushed the up button, then stepped inside when the elevator opened. Malcolm and Aunt Nicki scooted inside after her as she pressed five.

“Five?” Aunt Nicki asked. “But that’s—”

“Shh,” Malcolm said.

“Out,” Eve repeated. She was certain of it.

The elevator doors slid open. Eve strode forward, trusting instinct or memory to lead her. She turned left and then right. She halted in front of a massive steel door.

Two armed guards on either side shifted as they watched her. She touched the elaborate gears of the lock. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this isn’t … Malcolm flashed his badge. So did Aunt Nicki.

The guards twisted wheels on either side of the door, and Malcolm punched numbers into a keypad. The steel door rolled open. Eve hesitated for an instant and then walked inside. Immediately she felt the coldness suck against her skin. She walked through a blank corridor toward the next door.

Malcolm placed his hand on a pad. It scanned his palm, and the door slid open. The next door required a combination code, which Aunt Nicki entered. The fourth set of doors was guarded again. One of the guards radioed for permission, which was granted.

As the last door slid open, Eve prepped herself. This is it , she thought. She could feel it, her destination. Malcolm gestured for her to proceed, and she strode forward.

Inside … it was empty.

She halted in the center of the room. Spinning, she looked in all directions. The room was vast, with a silver ceiling far above them. The walls were bare silver, smooth and cold. The floor was spotless white. Except for the door they’d come through, the room was featureless.

All the certainty drained out of her, flushed away. She started to shake again. This wasn’t … She didn’t know this place. Or at least she didn’t remember it. It was just a room, an empty room.

The two agents watched her.

Eve circled the perimeter of the room. Her reflection followed her, crisp on the silver. She saw no reason for this empty room to be guarded, and she didn’t know why she’d been so sure this was her destination. This … this was nothing.

“You were expecting a big breakthrough, weren’t you?” Aunt Nicki said to Malcolm.

Eve felt empty inside, as empty as the room.

Malcolm held his hand out to Eve. “Come with me.” He sounded tired and sad. “There’s still time.”

“Not much,” Aunt Nicki said softly. “Not much.”

Eve crossed the room and took Malcolm’s hand. His hand was warm, but she felt cold inside and out.

Eve let the agents lead her out of the silver room. On her right, Malcolm cupped Eve’s elbow gently. On her left, Aunt Nicki gripped Eve’s upper arm so hard that Eve could feel each fingernail denting her flesh, as if Aunt Nicki’s nails were coated in steel instead of wine-red nail polish. Eve felt numb inside, as if every ounce of energy had been drained by her failure.