Marie Harte - Flight of Fancy

“Hmm. Aidan who? Have we met?” Nathan asked.

“Don’t be a dick. You know it’s me.” Aidan hated talking to Nathan sometimes. He was such a smart-ass. He heard Avery in the background shout something to Nathan, who shouted something obnoxious back.

“Hold on,” Nathan said, all sweetness and light.

“Jesus, Nathan,” Avery said between laughter. The phone must have dropped and was picked up again, because Aidan heard, “You are such an asshole. Gimme my damn phone.”

“You work too hard. Besides, it’s only Aidan.”

Aidan waited with forced patience for the sane member of the partnership to answer the phone.

“Man.” Avery. Finally. “Hey, Aidan. Sorry. Had to deal with a princess with her panties in a twist.”

Aidan liked Avery. The former US Marine had a no-nonsense attitude and took no prisoners. He was mission essential, and he knew how to get the job done. “You seen anything else on our blond dude? Anything timewise? Sitting around on my ass is killing me. I need to get back in action.”

“Sorry, my friend. But no one said you had to wait forever. Why not come on over to Hallihans for a beer? Bring Gavin and lighten up a little. There’s plenty of backup here, so you can let your hair down. Speaking of which, you ever think of getting it cut? It’s kind of long. Not great when your opponent can grab on and bring you down.”

“Since when the hell do you care about hair? Hell. You’re letting Nathan get to you.”

Avery sighed. “Yeah. He’s such a girl about style. Sorry I mentioned it. Though from a defensive perspective, it makes sense. Why the hell do you think the military gives its grunts buzz cuts?”

“Yeah, sure.” Aidan shook his head. “About the bar, maybe another time. I don’t want—”

“Hold on.” Avery’s tone changed. “Hey. Your guy. He’s a big blond, right?”

Aidan sat up straighter. “Yeah, why?”

“One of Chloe’s dudes is talking about some guy that recently went to his mom’s clinic.” Chloe was in a relationship with a set of sexy twins, Xavier and Josh Cannon.

“Mom’s clinic? We’re talking Doc Cannon, right?”

“Yeah. She wouldn’t tell him anything about you, but that he showed his face is telling. Sounds like Samson Ruelle is in the area, and he doesn’t care who knows.”

“Good.” Aidan’s blood hummed with the need to do violence. “No word about Carl Kerr, though, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Anytime.” Avery paused. “You know, you don’t have to live like a hermit all the time.”

“What?” Would Samson come straight at them or take his time? Probably feel out the surroundings, figure out where best to attack from.

“I’m just saying. Next to Jack, you’re the most antisocial guy on the team. It helps if you mingle a little, have fun.” He cleared his throat. “And yeah, that’s Nathan’s influence again. But you tell him I said that, and I’ll kick your ass back to DC. Later, Viking.” Avery disconnected.

Aidan stared at the phone as he put it down. He’d never seen himself as antisocial. If anything, he’d kept away because most members on the team didn’t like him. He’d never been the “make friends” type.

“What’s up?” Gavin asked from the bedroom doorway. “You look weird.”

“I just talked to Avery. Seems Samson showed up at Dr. Cannon’s clinic asking about me.”

“So he’s on the way. Good. Then we can get back to normal.”

Before Aidan could stop himself, he blurted, “But what is normal?”

“For me?” Gavin moved farther into the room. “Sitting in my office, making sure Ian doesn’t break the bank. For some stupid reason, Jack put him in charge of purchasing. That’s like putting the crazies in charge of the asylum.”

“I thought you wanted fieldwork.”

“I thought I did. But I don’t.”

“You’ve gotten a lot better with your hand-to-hand training.” Aidan didn’t understand. “You’re not afraid of getting back in, are you?” Maybe the case had lasting psychological effects he hadn’t realized. Something he’d need to fix, because no way did he want Gavin suffering any lasting harm from the op.

“Thanks. You’re actually a good trainer.” Gavin smiled. That grin was so sweet, so full of joy. He seemed unspoiled by life, and that brightness drew Aidan like nothing else. “I think I wanted fieldwork more because I was told no than that I actually liked it.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, when you can’t have something, you want it more, you know? They kicked me out of the program before I could tell if it suited me or not. Dalton should have plugged me right back in. But he was a jerk about it.”

Not in Aidan’s opinion.

“In any case, I proved to myself I could handle it.”

“You did.” Aidan felt a resounding pride in his partner, as if he himself had solved the problem.

“And now that I know I can do it, I can step back and take a good look at what I really want.” The intense look he gave Aidan put butterflies in his stomach.

What the hell was that? He coughed to hide his unaccountable nervousness and asked the tough question. “What do you want?”

“To be part of the team. People look at me differently now. You do.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I look at you like you belong to me, and that’s a problem.

“I think I just needed confidence. You helped with that, and I’m grateful.”

“I don’t want you to be grateful,” Aidan growled.

“Then what do you want?”

“This isn’t about me. We’re talking about you.”

Gavin scowled. “Fine. I want to be the team’s accountant. Back to the way it was. Simple. Except now I’m not the geek who fucked up. I’m the geek who fucked Aidan Marshall.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Aidan with challenge.

“You— what ?”

“Yeah, you heard me. Ian’s been telling everyone that I’m ‘the man’ because I managed to top Aidan Marshall. But no one tops you. No one gets to make love to you. Even Mike only comes when you call. You’ve barely allowed me into your little world.” Gavin’s voice gentled. “It’s all on your terms, your way. Why?”

Aidan didn’t understand how this conversation had turned so completely. And where the hell did Gavin get off trying to handle him?

“First of all, what’s with the soft voice? I’m not a scared fucking rabbit ready to bolt.”

“Aren’t you?”

Yes. “No. And second, no one fucks me, because it’s a personal preference. Like your thing for bondage and submission. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Not like the many bruises to his back. The stinging, the tearing of young, virgin flesh. All the blood, the pain. And going through it again and again until he just didn’t care anymore…

He didn’t realize he’d been so lost in the memory until Gavin’s arms wrapped around his middle. “It’s okay, Aidan. I just want to understand you. It’s okay.”

“I—You don’t— Fuck .” Aidan tore out of Gavin’s arms and stepped away, needing time to compose himself. He shouldn’t be surprised to go through this again. Samson had brought out familiar fears when he’d tied Aidan up and touched him without permission. The threat of rape got the big guy off, and he’d been toying with Aidan, inflicting small points of pain while getting a boner the size of Texas. Hell, had Gavin not arrived when he had, Aidan didn’t know what might have happened.

And he didn’t want to think about it. But he couldn’t seem to stop.

“Talk to me, Aidan.”

“Fuck off,” he said, wishing he sounded harder and less hoarse. “I don’t want to talk about it.”