Vivian Arend - Silent Storm

Images of him slipping into her—of the pleasure he felt—rolled back through the strange and powerful link they shared. Combined with the scent of the sea, between the remembrances of the past times they’d made love and this current time, the sensory overload grew almost devastating. It wasn’t simply the touch of his hands massaging her breasts, there was the lingering sensation of his mouth, and an echo of a time in the past when he’d pinched and teased her nipples until she could barely think.

It was lovemaking with layers of memories, and each time it grew more powerful. When Matt grasped her hips and adjusted her so his erection slid into her depths, she wasn’t sure how much of the pleasure was from this occasion and how much from the past.

“Matt…oh. Oh, yes.”

He wrapped one arm around her back and brought their torsos together, pulsing his hips lightly, more a rocking together than a powerful thrusting into her body.

It was still impossible to stop the reaction of her body to him. They fit—and yet…

An undeniable sensation of sadness burst through her. Laurin slammed it behind a mental wall and tried to deny it existed. She stared into his bright blue orbs. He returned her gaze without blinking, the emotion on his face making it impossible to look away.

“Do you see it?” he whispered. He moved their bodies together, with another rock, another slide. “Do you feel it?”

Racing headlong into her climax, tumbling into passion, Laurin trembled. It was more than the delights of joining together, under the heat of the sun and with the wind kissing their skin. Matt opened to her, flooding her mind with images from his viewpoint—the instant spark of interest he always experienced as she flirted with him. The expression on her face as she lay sated beside him.

He poured his reactions into her and Laurin’s breath caught in her throat. Powerful, yes, even overwhelming to comprehend how much he cared for her. How much he thought of her and wanted the best for her.

She wrapped her arms around his back and twisted, pulling him on top. The blanket was cool beneath her back, protecting them from the ravages of the sandy beach. His cock nestled deeper into her body, filling her, teasing all the sensitive places inside. Equally filled, her heart pounded with the realization he kept nothing secret—shared all he thought of her, all she meant to him.

He loved her.

Matt drew his hips back, then pressed into her again. Her body welcomed his advance, slick with need. His lips found hers, and as they kissed, that small part she kept separated from him trembled to be released.

Another kiss landed, this time on her cheek. His voice was raw and deep with his passion. “Do you hear it, Laurin? Do you hear what my body is telling you? What my mind and soul want you to know?”

Oh God. He plunged in again and again, the pace slow and even, her heart pounding faster than his intimate thrusts. She still couldn’t answer, couldn’t…

“Do you understand? I offer you everything, willingly. I’m yours, Laurin.”

Mine —she mouthed the word against his skin. It was easy to see the ways he gave her love, with all the caring and sharing. Every touch of his hand and the quiet of their evenings together—so different but so clear in making her feel the truth of his emotion.

Why was it so hard to let go of her final fear?

Above her, he stilled. They remained connected, his shaft buried deep in her body. Their minds touched, memories swirled, and yet…

“Laurin?”

Tears lashed her eyes and she pushed aside her apprehension. It wasn’t the time to deal with it. It wasn’t the place, and he deserved none of her bitter struggle to mar this moment. She opened the part of her mind she’d been hiding from him, only keeping that one secret place buried deep.

“I see, I feel. I know. Oh, Matt…you are too good to me.”

“Not possible, it’s only what you deserve.”

Moving slowly, now faster. Rocking together, hips connecting and withdrawing. Skin on skin, minds brushing, breasts aching. Heart breaking. Laurin accepted his gift and returned it with everything she could. She shared her fascination with his magic, the way his role as a shaman was not a part of him, but him. The gratitude she felt for his place in her life, his protection, his openness, and most of all his love.

She did love him. Almost frighteningly so. She clutched his shoulders and arched under him, taking him into her body, accepting him into her mind. Flashing into the pleasure of release at the same moment he did, their bodies in tune and one.

They both cried out, Laurin reveling in the delight he always brought her, the physical rightness of being with him. Even as he pulsed within her, his seed filling her, the connection between their bodies remaining, Matt brought their lips together for another earth-shattering kiss. When they finally lay, breathing hard on the blanket, Laurin’s vision was blurred.

“Wow.” The sky spun overhead, continuing aftershocks of pleasure rioting through her system.

He laughed softly, rising up on one elbow to smile down at her. Laurin sighed in contentment, lifting her fingers to trace his jawline. Matt’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “You okay? You seemed to disappear for a minute or two—that’s not good for a guy’s ego.”

Laurin soothed him, kissing his lips tenderly. Opened herself to allow how much she cared for him to wash over them both. “I’m sorry. You know I’m guilty of thinking too hard at times.”

Matt nodded. “If you can analyze a situation from a new direction, you will. Or make some charts.”

“Charts are awesome.”

They grinned at each other. Laurin let a slow sigh of relief escape as Matt rolled away and helped her to her feet without pushing for any further explanation. She needed to deal with her concerns, but postcoital? Her emotions were still too raw. Besides, it really was her issue, not anything that was his fault.

They gathered their scattered clothing with an easy companionship. Matt shook the sand from each item before dressing. Laurin chose to retreat to the kayak to find her dry clothing. Matt pulled out a picnic basket, then proceeded to impress her stomach with his cooking as much as he’d dazzled her body with his lovemaking.

In spite of her attentive companion, and the gorgeous setting, her mind kept wandering back to her dilemma, and as they packed up the remains of the picnic lunch, she realized she couldn’t carry on this way. It wasn’t fair to either of them.

“Matt, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What do you think of me taking a bit of a holiday?”

He took his time to seal the container in his hands before tucking it into a kayak bag. “That depends,” he said slowly. “Are you talking about a holiday from teaching or a holiday from…me?”

Oh damn. One of the troubles with being so intimately connected with a shaman—it was difficult to keep secrets. “My tour of summer schools will be over in a couple weeks. The students who are studying via satellite are on a year-round schedule—they’ll have a semester break then as well, so I’ll have no teaching commitments.”

He nodded, his observant gaze flashing over her. “And me?”

Laurin took a deep breath. She reached out and laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Matt, I think I love you.”

There was a spark in his eyes, but his smile seemed forced. “How come that came out sounding as if it makes you sad?”

She moistened her lips, searching for the right words. Ones that would make this better. Unfortunately, she had no idea what words those would be.

“Laurin.” He held out his hand and she went into his arms eagerly, willing to hide her face against his chest, seeking comfort, wishing she’d never given him any pain. She did love him. She did, that had become crystal clear over the past month.