Calia Read: Unravel

“You know why you’re here?” he asks sharply.

I don’t say a word.

“You’re here because you fell apart.”

I flinch because, true or not, I can’t go up against Lachlan’s words. He’s going to come out as the sane one. His words will make sense before mine ever will.

My heart thunders in my ears, and my vision blurs. I see a woman with sad eyes, staring at herself in the mirror. And I see Max lying beside me in bed. In one quick move I’m above him, and he smiles up at me, his hands gripping my waist.

And then the image disappears. I groan and press the heel of my hands into my eyes.

“Naomi, look at me.”

I lower my hands. Lachlan sits across from me, staring at me intensely.

His hand is around my neck. His thumb brushes across my skin and my body jolts.

“Are you with me right now?” he asks.

Yes… no… maybe. Every day is an unknown for me. Every day I wake up feeling like I’m surrounded by a heavy fog and I know I’m missing a piece of myself, and I don’t know where it is.

I answer Lachlan honestly. “For now I am.”

There’s a two-second pause as he looks me in the eye. A pause that makes my stomach twist and my blood roar through my veins. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He looks like he’s battling his feelings, but I watch as he loses. His eyes lock with mine and then he kisses me hard on the mouth.

Instantly, I come alive. And that’s what a good kiss should do. It should speak to you the minute your lips connect.

You don’t think.

You react.

You feel.

For Lachlan and me, it’s always been this way. All I can hear from this kiss is, “ Remember me. I’m real.”

I respond the only way I know how, the way Lachlan showed me in the past. His hands hold my face in place. The pressure of his lips declines when I move my mouth against his. He makes a noise and grips my face tighter. It triggers memories of who I used to be. Behind my eyes, memories start to play on a projector. Each one has Lachlan. The two of us in a field, lighting rockets. Staring at the stars and talking until the sun comes up. I see myself smiling and carefree and so happy.

For a brief moment, I feel at peace. Lachlan’s tongue slips between my lips. A shudder moves through me as I open my mouth wider. My fingers move up his arms, toward his neck. Just when hope starts to flicker in me, Mary clears her throat.

Lachlan pulls away first. His pupils are dilated; his lips are swollen from our kiss. I lick my lips, trying to get a piece of that kiss back. Mary clears her throat louder this time. I glance up.

“Mr. Halstead,” she says, “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

He removes his hand from the back of my neck. My skin instantly feels cold. My arms drop heavily onto the table as I watch Lachlan stand up.

He looks at Mary. “Give me just a minute,” he says.

Mary’s eyes move between the two of us. She sighs. “ One minute,” she warns and walks away.

Lachlan leans close to me. I keep my eyes on the table, but the smooth surface starts to blur as tears pool in my eyes. Something terrible is brewing. I can feel it.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he says.

I look at him. I see the pain in his eyes. “I need you to visit me,” my voice cracks. “It’s the only thing keeping me going.”

Lachlan looks out the window. My fingers reach out and I grip the collar of his shirt, forcing him to look directly at me.

“You can’t leave me.”

A tense silence wraps around us. He looks at me through his eyelashes, his expression grim. One by one, his fingers wrap around my wrists. Firmly, he pulls my fingers off his shirt.

“I’m not leaving you. That’s the last thing I want. But I don’t think I’m helping you. I think I just make everything worse,” he says slowly.

“You help me,” I insist. “Whenever you visit things are better.”

Lachlan says nothing.

“You’re just having a bad day. I’m having a bad day. Tomorrow things will be better and—”

His head turns. I see the look in his eyes. It doesn’t matter what I say. He isn’t going to change his mind.

Everything around me has been a chaotic mess, yet he has stood firm. And now he’s shredding my world.

This must be what hell feels like. It has to be. My lungs are constricting. I can’t breathe. I rub my eyes with my palms, moving my head back and forth in denial. If Lachlan stops coming I’m afraid of what will happen. My sanity is being held together by a threadbare string. I’ll break before that frozen water drop does.

Feeling his hand on my shoulder makes me shake. He squeezes once. I force my hands to stay on the table.

His hand drifts away. There Lachlan goes, walking out of my life.

I turn in my chair. “Wait!”

Lachlan turns around.

At this point, I’m desperate. I know I’m losing him. “Do you remember what you said to me a year ago?” I ask.

His jaw tightens. He looks away and I know he’s trying not to respond to my question, but he can’t help himself. Even when you’re angry, love tugs at your soul in the most painful way. It makes you care—makes you feel—when that’s the last thing you want.

He nods stiffly.

“Then, please, don’t do this,” I say.

He steps forward.

“Lachlan,” Mary calls out behind him.

He stops.

I plead with my eyes. Seconds pass and I think he’s going to tell Mary to fuck off. I think he’s going to say he didn’t mean what he said. But he slowly backs away.

The world rips out from under my feet. I’m in a free fall, frantically trying to grab onto anything that will save me.

Lachlan’s figure starts to become hazy. My skull feels like it’s been cracked in half. I grip the table and slump forward. Tables and chairs disappear into thin air. The walls crack and shatter to the floor. New walls, the rich shade of brown, burst from the ground. The tan linoleum floors fade into plush, white carpet.

The windows shatter around me. A cold gust of air bursts into the room. I curl my fingers around my head and moan. Shards of glass rotate through the air. They miss my body by inches before they disintegrate. A large window fits into the wall with a loud suction noise. Sunlight fades away, replaced by the soft glow of moonlight.

Then everything stops.

My eyes open. I blink once and slowly stand up.

The rec room is gone.

I’m facing a mirror, staring at my reflection. I don’t look the same. I look refreshed, happy, and even beautiful. My blonde hair is styled in finger waves, one side pulled up with a golden barrette. My cheeks have color and my eyes have life in them. I’m back to being Naomi.

My body is covered in a dress that clings to my body. Turning to the side, I see my entire back is exposed. Quickly, my attention goes from the dress, to the male sitting in the corner of the room.

Max.

My lips curve up and my heart races, as I watch him. He rests his ankle against his opposite knee. His expression is relaxed and the dimple on his right cheek makes him appear boyish. But his full lips curve up into a masculine smile that is anything but.

He stands to his full height and I watch as he slides his black blazer over his wide shoulders, covering up his white shirt and black suspenders. His black bow tie is undone, hanging around his neck like a black ribbon.

His hair is unruly. But he doesn’t care. That’s the thing with Max. He breaks past every single rule and takes his own road.

He adjusts the collar of his jacket as he walks up behind me. His body swallows me up. The top of my head grazes his chin.

I cherish this moment like a lifeline and I hold on for as long as I can. It never lasts long. But each time I see him, I become convinced that it will be different, that he won’t disappear on me.