Anne Brown: Deep Betrayal

I squeezed my eyes tight and two large tears rolled down my cheeks. When I opened my eyes, it was just in time to see a blue angel burst from the waves, sailing through the air, arms outstretched. The most amazing sight, equal in both beauty and terror: Pavati arcing against the sky. She threw her arms around Jack as she rose over us, then turned, returning to the water with him, Jack’s face glowing with fervent obsession.

Somehow, in that balletic maneuver, I was knocked off balance. One second I was mesmerized by beauty; the next, the world tilted on its axis. It was just one

staggering

step, but

now

I

was

falling.

Adrenaline raced to my brain, setting it abuzz—the chain still wrapped around my neck, the cinder block heavy in my arms. Stupidly, I clung to it like a life preserver. Above me, Sophie was watching. She was always watching.

I counted the seconds until Calder would save me: One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi …

Jack, finally appreciating he was in the arms of his beloved, burst open with an enraptured light even I could see. I heard Pavati’s mental gasp and then, overcome by starvation, she spiraled him to the bottom of the lake, crushing him to her until he was no more.

Eight Mississippi .

Nine Mississippi .

Ten …

I cried out, and a torrent of icy water rushed my lungs, drowning out any oxygen I might have been able to preserve. The seconds stretched out between my heartbeats, which slowed, then stuttered.

Twenty Mississippi …

Sophie screamed, her voice piercing the water.

Twenty-three …

Twenty-four …

Twenty-five …

The voices of all my family, some merely imagined but others real and very close, called my name: Mom from the porch steps. Calder and Dad and Maris in the water. Pavati’s sated sigh. Sophie from the rocks.

A high keening burrowed like a dentist’s drill through my brain and out the top of my head. I called for someone—anyone—though no words escaped my lips. Instead, from my open mouth burst a light so brilliant the whole world burned white-hot. A ripple of spasms tore through my body and lifted me into the air, dropping me onto the rocks, gritty and wet and hard against my grasping fingers.

And then everything went black.

Idrifted in and out of consciousness. Men were talking in mix-and-matched sentence fragments and non sequiturs. Some of the combinations made me laugh out loud, but laughing made me sound hysterical, and hysterics only increased the din of their concern.

“Explain this,” said the angriest voice.

“I didn’t do it,” said the saddest. “I didn’t do anything. I would never do this to her.”

“You weren’t trying to be a hero?”

“She didn’t need one. She was still alive.”

“Then what the hell is this supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never understood her.”

I arched my back and opened my eyes to a cloudless sky, patchy and blue through the tree branches. Skin pulled tight across my rib cage. I levitated. No, wait, someone was lifting me from a car. Gravel crunched under their feet as they carried me down a road.

“Careful, Lily. Be still. We’ve got you. You’re home.”

“Dad?” I croaked. “Where did you come from?”

“I’ve always been here. Now don’t talk.”

“Where’s Sophie?” My throat constricted, and the words came out like a rasp.

“I’m not speaking to you,” she said.

“Put me down. You don’t have to carry me.” I struggled in a net of arms, but Dad and Calder tightened their grip.

“Get in the house, Sophie. Tell your mom we’re coming,” Dad said.

My muscles seized, arching and twisting me in their arms. Pinwheels of light spun in my field of vision, and I squeezed my eyes so tight I feared they’d turn inside out. Blood filtered over my tongue as my teeth pierced my bottom lip.

“Let me go!” I cried, trying to break free of Dad’s grip, but I couldn’t feel my legs. For the first time, I was truly afraid. Did the chain break my neck? Am I paralyzed? Is this why they are carrying me? Me and Mom both in wheelchairs? It was too much to comprehend. “No!” I cried.

“Easy, baby,” Dad said. “Everything’s okay.”

But I could hear the lie. Tentatively, I reached down, afraid of what I’d feel. Afraid of feeling nothing. My fists refused to unclench, but slowly I willed my hands to open, letting my fingers stretch to their full length. The first thing I found were the remains of my shorts, hanging in fringed tatters from the waistband. I combed the strips of cotton through my fingers and took a deep breath. If only I could feel my fingers against my legs, I knew I’d be okay. No one would ever hear me complain if it was just a broken leg. I laid my hands flat against my thighs, relieved to feel my palms hot against my skin, but gasping at the sensation, because beneath my fingertips was the familiar texture of smooth scales over compact muscle. In a panic, I replayed my slip off the rock, the sinking, the air burning up in my lungs. I remembered the flash of light.

“You changed me?” My voice was a coarse grating—like the bottom of a boat against the sand.

“He says he didn’t,” said Dad, whom I’d now located at my shoulders.

“I didn’t!” Calder said, from my feet, or fin.… I didn’t want to look, but peeked through my lashes. All I could see was a twitching blur of pink that caught the sun and flashed light in my eyes.

Calder and Dad carried me up the porch steps, and Mom called through the screen door. “Jason! Jason! Oh, thank God you’re home! What are you—? What’s wrong with her? Lily!”

Sophie held the porch door open, and Dad and Calder carried me in. The pain was unbearable now—like waves of broken glass pulsing through my bone marrow. I writhed and twisted as my skin pulled and joints strained in their sockets. Somewhere in my head, Mom was screaming.

“Blankets!” Dad yelled, and Sophie pulled quilts off beds and the afghan off the couch. My tail knocked over a floor lamp as I thrashed and seized uncontrollably.

Mom whimpered nearby while Calder cocooned my body with the blankets and placed couch cushions around my head to stop me from slamming it into the wood floor. Already, a goose egg rose up at the back of my skull.

“Shhh. Shhh,” he said. “Just breathe. Deep breaths.”

I screamed in agony against the ripping. Could they hear me tearing in two? It was so loud in my ears. Tears burned like acid behind my eyelids. “I don’t understand!” I cried.

“You shouldn’t have butted in,” Sophie said.

“Not now, Sophie,” Dad said. “Why is it taking so long for her to change back?”

“I don’t know,” Calder said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Should I call the doctor?” Mom asked. “Maybe Father Hoole?”

“No!” sounded four voices in unison.

“No, of course, not,” Mom said. “What was I thinking? I don’t know what to do. Give me something to do.”

“Take me to the lake!” I howled. “Get me back. I can’t stand it!”

“How long has it been?” Calder asked.

“I don’t know,” Dad said. “Ten minutes? Fifteen?”

When I opened my eyes, Calder was my mirror. When I flinched, he did as well. Every movement I made, every grimace played out for me on his face. To both feel and see the pain doubled its intensity, and I gripped his arm with such force, he sucked air through his teeth.

“Please,” I begged, digging my fingernails into his flesh. “Get me back to the lake.”