Rebecca Zanetti: Blind Faith

“Yes.” He stood and pushed away from the bed. “If we don’t find the computer program and right codes, the chips will detonate, and we’ll all be killed.”

Nate threw his duffel bag on the bed in the rustic cabin. The dump where he’d taken Audrey was rented by the hour, and he’d had no intention of staying there. After their discussion, he had taken Audrey home before returning to his home base a few miles away. The commander’s soldiers had remained out of sight, but he heard their hearts beating and their breath panting out. They were near her apartment, and he didn’t like that at all.

He’d wanted to take them both out, but that would alert the commander he was in town. So, he’d headed back to his quaint cabin to get some work done.

His hands shook as he allowed himself one moment to feel. No child. For the briefest time, he’d almost been a father. Sorrow and anger roared through him, and he took several deep breaths, his chin dropping to his chest. What would his kid have been like? What would he and Audrey have been like as parents?

His brothers would’ve made wonderful uncles. Shane could’ve taught the kid sports, and Matt would’ve taught him hunting. Josie, Shane’s wife, could’ve helped with his or her math homework, and Matt’s love, Laney, would’ve helped with science.

The kid would’ve had a great life with a real family and love.

Plus, the proof of one kid would show Shane and Matt that they could have kids. Something they desperately wanted.

The families on television had parents, kids, and cousins, and that’s all the Dean boys had ever wanted.

His lungs seized as the impossible picture of a family, of his child, faded into nothingness. For a very brief time, even though the kid hadn’t made it, Nate had been a father. He’d deserved to know that at the time and to experience the reality of that miracle while there had still been hope.

Audrey had kept that from him. Sure, she’d said she had planned to tell him the truth, and he wanted to believe her. But even with his abilities, he wasn’t sure. He was as damaged as a guy could get, so why would any mother want him near a child?

The life he’d lost threatened to consume him, so he slowly, bit by bit, stopped feeling anything. His head lifted.

He stalked over to the cut-off door perched on an old tree trunk that served as a table. One of the two green striped patio chairs creaked as he lowered his bulk to sit and booted up his laptop.

Five minutes passed while he typed in security codes until finally his oldest brother came into focus. “I made contact,” he said.

Matt leaned forward, gray eyes concerned. “And?”

“She lost the baby.” Nate kept his voice level as he gave his report.

Matt blinked and ran a hand over his face. “Jesus, Nate. I’m sorry.”

Pain spiraled in Nate’s gut, and he shoved emotion away. “And we hurt her. When we blew up the facility… Audrey was there.” He didn’t have the strength to keep his voice from cracking on the end.

Matt stilled. “Was she pregnant? I mean, did we—”

“No. She’d already miscarried when she was at the facility.”

Matt shook his head. “But you made sure she wasn’t there, that she was scheduled to be in DC.”

Yeah. He’d thought he’d taken care of her, even though they were over. But he hadn’t, and something had gone wrong. The woman definitely had a limp. His guilt angered him, and he fought to keep his expression stoic so his brother wouldn’t see the turmoil. “Apparently Audrey was at the medical facility because the miscarriage had started.”

“So she lost the baby.” Matt swallowed. “How many experiments did the scientists put her through at that time? Just because a woman finally got pregnant by one of us?”

Nate sat back, his mind reeling. He hadn’t even considered what the commander and his scientists had probably done to Audrey in testing after they’d finally found a female who could get pregnant with one of the Gray brothers’ sperm.

The evil scientists had harvested the brothers’ sperm during surgeries to repair injuries sustained while on missions, and then they had tried unsuccessfully to impregnate surrogate mothers. Even before this violation occurred, the brothers had fully intended to escape the group that had raised and trained them. Freedom mattered.

But the military group, led by the commander, had made sure there was a brother out on mission at all times, and if he failed, his brothers would die back home.

Until they finally were at the base at the same time.

They’d blown it all to hell and escaped.

“When we finally got loose, Audrey stayed with the commander and her mother,” Nate said slowly. “Her mother always had a hold on her I didn’t understand, and now Audrey is working with them.” Of course, he’d never had a mother, so he didn’t understand the bond.

Anger blazed across Matt’s face before he quickly banished it. “Maybe Audrey didn’t have a choice?”

“No. She chose them, chose working with them over me, before she knew she’d become pregnant.” Nate shook his head. “When she ended things between us almost five years ago, she even admitted her mother set us up from the start. I assume Dr. Madison wanted to see what I’d be like in love. If I could feel love for somebody who wasn’t family.” The thought that he’d been used by the one person he’d ever let in shot spikes into his gut, even after all of these years. When Audrey had confirmed her mother’s involvement in their relationship, she’d been telling the truth.

“I know it was an experiment initially, but that doesn’t mean she knew all the facts. Maybe she was supposed to befriend you,” Matt said.

“I know.” Nate stretched his neck, his shoulders settling. “We started as an experiment, but her feelings were real. Just not strong enough to trust me when things turned bad.” And that was the crux of the matter.

Matt nodded, turned to the side, and glared. “Stop poking me.”

“I’m not.” Shane, Nate’s younger brother, came into focus as he shoved a shoulder into Matt and scooted him over. “Are you in a secured place?”

“Yes.” Nate glanced around at the two-room cabin. A bedroom took up one room, while a small kitchenette fronted the far wall near a rugged stone fireplace in the other room. “Nobody followed me from town.”

“You didn’t take Audrey there?” Shane asked.

“Of course not,” Nate said. “I believe I taught you evasive maneuvers when you were eight years old.”

Shane frowned, his eyes identical to Matt’s in both gray color and deep concern. “Just wanted to make sure your head was on straight.”

“I’m fine.” Nate drew in a deep breath, calming his racing heart. Seeing Audrey again had taken a toll, but he was fine now. Reaching out, he widened the scope of his screen to better see. His brothers were both over six feet tall and broad with strong features, and their similar faces took up too much room on the screen. Matt had a square jaw, and Shane’s features appeared more angular, but there was no doubt they shared a sperm donor. “Audrey is working for Senator Nash, who’s on the appropriation’s subcommittee for advanced defense spending.”

“In other words, for top-secret, bullshit military experiments and funding,” Shane muttered.

“Exactly,” Nate said, glad to be on the topic of their enemies and not on Audrey.

Matt exhaled. “So, the commander maneuvered Audrey in place to gain more funding. I’m sorry, Nate.”

“Why?” Nate kept his gaze level. “We knew she worked for them. Dr. Madison raised her, so why did we expect anything different?” Yeah, he felt for Audrey after having been raised by the psychopathic neurobiologist, but she’d made her choice. He’d offered her freedom, and she’d chosen dubious safety.