Stephanie Julian - Shades of Moonlight

And he took full advantage.

He pried open her lips and licked into her mouth. Slid his tongue against hers and coaxed her into responding. The kiss deepened every second and he felt himself sinking further and further away from reality.

Each taste, each touch, every sigh made him more convinced that this was where she belonged. Even if he knew she wouldn’t stay.

Wow, I should have done this a whole lot sooner.

It was the only thought running through Mara’s brain as Race’s mouth moved over hers.

Blessed Goddess, the man could kiss. Just demanding enough to be dominant but sweet enough to drag her under his spell. She’d thought she’d grown immune to the ways men could make you fall for their tricks, their lies.

But if Race was lying to her in any way, she couldn’t tell. Or maybe she just didn’t want to know.

Since she’d taken leave of her senses for the night, she figured she might as well go all-out and enjoy herself while she had the chance.

She wanted to enjoy Race. Enjoy the solid feel of him so close to her and the lust she couldn’t explain away as magic.

She’d wanted this man since her libido had returned about three months after Arin’s birth. She’d thought it’d been beaten out of her by the life her parents and Ettore had forced her into.

Now… Now she knew it’d only taken the right man to bring it out of her.

This man.

Race’s mouth molded over hers, sucking at her. His tongue pushed between her lips to lick and play with hers.

He wasn’t careful. He didn’t treat her like a porcelain doll. Not like— Well, not like before, when she’d thought she’d been in love. That had been a lie.

This…

This was no lie. This was exactly what she needed.

Race made her feel desirable. Like a woman instead of the walking wounded.

And with her hearing restored, she reveled in the sound of him.

His labored breathing. The low groan he made when he twisted his head to get a better angle on her lips. Heard the shift of his clothes against hers and wondered what it would sound like if they were skin-to-skin.

She loved knowing she made him hot and bothered.

Wrapping her arms around those broad shoulders, she pressed closer until she had to move or risk falling on top of him.

And maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. She knew he’d catch her.

Maybe he read her mind because in the next second, he put his arms around her waist and dragged her against him. She opened her legs so her knees fell on either side of his and her chest pressed against his. Then he shoved one hand into her hair and tilted her head so he had better access to her mouth.

His other hand spread across her back and she nearly melted as his fingers stretched from one shoulder blade to the other. This close to him, she felt tiny. As if he could curl around her and nothing could ever get at her again.

It made her bold. He made her bold.

When he reached out to lick at her again, she opened her mouth and touched the tip of her tongue to his. He groaned, inducing a shiver that shimmered through her like hard liquor.

Then his tongue pushed past her lips and she opened wider, letting him in. He didn’t hesitate to take what he wanted and a momentary flare of panic lit low in her gut.

What if—

He pulled away, leaving her breathless, her fingers digging into his shoulders.

“Shit.” Grimacing, he released her to run one hand over his face. “I didn’t mean for that to get so far out of hand. Damn, I’m sorry, Mara. You okay?”

She blinked up at him, heart pounding. Was she okay?

No, she wasn’t. She wanted him to continue. To kiss her and make her forget. To make her feel.

Why had he stopped? Did he think she was frightened? What would he do if she told him no, she wasn’t okay, but only because he’d stopped?

Would he continue? Or was this space for the best?

“Mara?”

She shook her head but not as an answer and signed slowly enough that she knew he’d understand. “I’m fine.”

When he didn’t look totally convinced, she reached for the pad.

You don’t scare me, Race. You make me feel safe. I didn’t want you to stop.

His gaze narrowed on hers after he’d read her note. And did she actually see a hint of a blush on his cheeks?

“I’m glad you feel safe around me. I want you to feel safe with me. I…don’t want you to be uncomfortable. With me.”

She took a moment to consider her response, pen poised over the paper as Race watched her. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, wasn’t sure what she should say.

I’m not uncomfortable with you. I just

She paused. She didn’t know how to put into words how she felt about him. Couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

Since Kaisie and Grace had brought her here, Race had always been near. At first, she thought he’d been assigned. She’d asked Lia to find out. Lia had told her he’d asked to be her protection. She had no idea why.

She wasn’t Mal . Although, she thought, maybe that didn’t matter to him. Maybe anyone associated with the Mal was lumped into the same category. And maybe since she’d been impregnated by one, she was automatically the enemy.

But just now, he’d kissed her.

Confusion threatened to give her a massive headache. She’d had a lot of those lately, which she’d attributed to stress.

She lifted her hand to her temple and started to rub.

“What’s wrong? Does your head hurt? How bad?”

He cupped the back of her neck, warmth spreading from the point of contact. Taking away some of the pain.

She stared up into his dark eyes, wondering what he was thinking. He looked worried.

Would he kiss her again? She wanted him to.

He stared into her eyes, searching for something. She wished she knew exactly what so she could give it to him.

When he rose from the couch to pace the floor, she had to blink back tears. Obviously he didn’t want her as much as she wanted him.

And why would he?

Her gaze dropped away from his, all the doubts she’d lived with since escaping Florida roaring back up to drown her.

She’d never run far enough away to outrun her past. She’d forever be that frightened little girl too afraid of her own shadow to stand up to the people who had made her little more than a slave. Who had used her in the cruelest way possible.

And she’d let them.

“Mara.”

She’d let them use her. She should’ve been brave enough to at least attempt an escape. If not for herself then for her baby.

“Mara. Look at me.”

No, she couldn’t. She was afraid she’d see confirmation of her cowardice in Race’s eyes. He was the one person she couldn’t stand to have look at her like that.

She picked up the pad and focused on that so she wouldn’t have to see him.

I’m sorry. I’m so tired. I need to get some sleep.

She paused, thought about what she wanted to say then forced herself to finish. Yes, she was a coward but she meant to change that. Baby steps. She could do that at the very least.

But please don’t leave.

She’d never asked a man for anything since she’d begged her father not to send her to her uncle’s compound. Her father had told her to do her duty and act her age. She’d been fifteen. Her life since then had been one long nightmare ruled by fear. First for herself. Then for her child.

Now… She needed a little breathing room.

She handed over the pad, watched Race read it, his jaw tightening again before he nodded and captured her gaze.

“I won’t go anywhere. You go to bed. I won’t let anything happen to you. And I’ll be here when you get up.”