Jen McConnel - Daughter of Chaos

“I told her I wanted to be a Red Witch.”

Rochelle crinkled up her nose. “But what does that even mean?”

I shrugged, my heart sinking. Rochelle was the first person I had told, and some desperate hope had made me think that she might know more about Red magic than I did. She was always studying strange things that none of our classes covered. “I don’t know, but I guess I better find out fast.” I took a swallow of my latte, and Rochelle sipped her black coffee thoughtfully.

“I wish Hecate would show up in my living room.” Her voice was wistful, and I shuddered at the memory of the goddess’s claw-like hand gripping my chin.

“Trust me, Rochelle, it wasn’t fun. And what would your parents say? They’d freak out!” Rochelle’s parents thought Trinity was the expensive prep school that it looked like; they had no idea that their daughter was training as a Witch. How she kept it a secret, I didn’t know, but Rochelle managed somehow.

We’d been best friends almost since the minute she enrolled. I met her in the janitor’s closet. I used to sneak in there during Algebra to practice spells that our teachers thought were too dark or advanced for freshmen to learn, and Rochelle had had the same idea. I walked in on her binding a hex, but I never told on her. I was too fascinated by the powerful magic Rochelle had taught herself before enrolling. In exchange for silence, I begged her to teach me, and by the end of the week we were inseparable. Hexes aren’t exactly part of the standard curriculum at Trinity, since they flagrantly violate the Rede. Rochelle wasn’t intimidated by breaking the rules, and I loved her for her bravery.

I took another sip of my latte, relishing the flavor, and looked at my best friend. Her hair was cropped short, and this week she had died the tips teal. Everything else about her, though, from her eyeliner to her shoes, was black. My parents didn’t like Rochelle; they had a real prejudice toward Black Witches, although I didn’t see what the problem was. Black was just another path, and clearly it wasn’t as dangerous as whatever I’d pledged myself to. Rochelle hadn’t been expelled; I had.

Rochelle chugged the rest of her still-steaming coffee. “Well, when you see Hecate again, be sure you tell her ‘Hi’ for me.”

I laughed nervously. “I doubt I’ll be seeing her again. I mean, how often does she ever show up? Her visit was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I’m glad. She won’t have any reason to check up on me.” I hoped.

My best friend shot me a look that I couldn’t read. “Don’t count on it, Darlena.”

Rochelle cut classes for the rest of the day, insisting that I shouldn’t be left alone in my current mood. We took her sporty little Honda and headed to downtown Raleigh. I felt a little foolish, but I convinced her to spend the day wandering in and out of the free museums near the State Capitol building. It was the only thing I could think of that would make the day feel normal.

My parents used to drive into Raleigh every month, taking me to one museum after another. While a lot of people who live in this area tend to stick to their city, my parents were never shy about exploring Raleigh and Chapel Hill. Rochelle didn’t object when I asked to go to the State History Museum, but she sighed loudly and rolled her eyes the entire time we were there. I ignored her, lost in the past. Indulging in childhood memories seemed a lot safer just now than dealing with my new reality.

We spent the entire day in Raleigh, but eventually Rochelle said she should get home for dinner. I felt a guilty tug in my gut; I had barely thought of my parents the whole day. What would they think when I told them what had happened? Rochelle dropped me at the end of the street and I walked home, stewing. I’d wanted to believe Hecate’s visit was just another dream, but now I knew better. Snout had made it clear that Red magic was real, and what’s worse, it seemed to scare him. What had I gotten myself into?

By the time I reached my house, both my parents were there waiting to pounce on me. When I saw their cars, I almost turned and walked back down the driveway, but I squared my shoulders and decided to face the music sooner rather than later. I wasn’t sure how I’d tell them about Hecate, but I thought that maybe, since Snout had known already, I wouldn’t have to say anything. I wasn’t sure if that would be better or worse than telling them myself.

Mom was sitting on the tattered floral sofa, something she had dragged around since her college days. Her face was blotchy and puffy, and I realized with a shock that my stoic mother had been crying. I froze on the threshold, digesting the unsettling sight. Dad was leaning against the wall, his back to the door, but he and Mom both looked up at my entrance. Dad stiffened and looked away, but the tears that welled up in my mother’s eyes as she gazed long and hard at me hurt more than his snub.

Still unsure, I crossed the room and took a seat beside Mom. The smells of coffee and cigarettes wafted up to greet me; that couch had had quite a life before I was born, and the lingering scents of its past were often present. The old smells should have been comforting, but I was too confused to really notice.

Hesitantly, Mom took my hand in hers and clutched it. She and Dad were both holding their breath, and they exhaled loudly after Mom held my hand for a few seconds. She didn’t let go, but tightened her grip.

Dad cleared his throat and I looked up into his face.

“We have been informed that you will be continuing your education here at home.” I didn’t bother to nod, and Dad didn’t wait for my response. “Your mother and I will help you in any way that we can, but the training you will receive is different from anything we’ve ever experienced. Darlena—” He paused, looking at my mother first and then at me. “Darlena, this is still your home. That may change in the future, but for now, this is still a safe place for you.”

At those bizarre words, Mom started to sob loudly. Her grip on my hand was crushing, but I was squeezing back just as hard. Dad looked away uncomfortably, and an eerie silence descended.

“We love you, Darlena. Remember that, whatever else happens.” Mom’s usually strong voice was reduced to a breathy whisper, and the sound of it brought tears to my eyes. I stood up quickly, trying to mask my hurt from my parents.

“Why is everyone freaking out?”

They looked at me, confused. Finally, Dad spoke. “You mean it’s not true?”

“What, the fact that Hecate showed up last night? Yeah, that’s true.”

Mom shuddered, and Dad turned pale.

“I don’t know why you are being so calm about this.”

I glared at him in shock. “Calm? I’m not being calm! First that goddess, then I get kicked out of school, and now you guys are treating me like a leper. Trust me, I’m anything but calm.”

Mom reached for my hand, but dropped her arm before she touched me. “Darlena, honey, sit down. We have a lot to talk about.”

I shook my head. “Not right now. I don’t want to deal with any of this tonight.”

“You’ll have to face your choice sooner or later.” My dad clenched his jaw as he spoke, and the muscle above his eye twitched. It hurt to look at.

“Not tonight. I’m going to bed.” I knew I sounded like a sulky brat, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t ready to deal with any of this, and in the back of my mind, I still wanted it all to be an awful dream.

Mom and Dad let me go without complaint, even when I slammed my bedroom door so hard it shook. I stood, helplessly flexing my fingers, staring around my room in confusion.

What exactly had I done when I pledged myself to the Red path? I sank to my floor and, for the first time all day, I didn’t try to stop the frightened tears that poured down my face.