Sharon Green - To Battle The Gods

“No!” said the two males at once, both greatly angered, then did it come to them what they had said. They looked upon each other warily, doubt strong in their eyes, and S’Heernoh voiced a sigh of vexation.

“Stop looking at each other as if you’re absolute strangers,” he said, annoyance now coloring the words. “You know you’ve learned to respect each other, that you’re both men of honor. Hasn’t it occurred to either of you yet that if something happens to one of you, that one can at least be sure he won’t be leaving his beloved alone to fend for herself? That she’ll still have the other to stand beside her?”

“Indeed is such a thing worth knowing,” said Ceralt with a nod Mehrayn appearing surprised—and unexpectedly pleased in his surprise. “A man need not fear his own fate with the fate of his beloved happily seen to.”

“And yet are there other things which might concern a man,” said Mehrayn, his pleasure quickly fading. “To be pleased that another sees to his woman after his end, is not to be pleased upon the same point while he lives. To share a slave with others is no more than meet; to do the same with the free woman you have chosen and love—”

“Does having to share her mean your love has to lessen?” S’Heernoh demanded, his voice and eyes sharp. “If it does, it can’t have been much of a love to begin with. If it doesn’t, then no more than some small part of your pride is hurt, a part that will heal rather quickly. Would you rather lose her entirely than share her? Would you rather see her dead than occasionally in the arms of another man? She’s a warrior who would never even consider limiting your needs; will you thank her by trying to limit hers?”

Soberly had Mehrayn listened to the words of S’Heernoh, his eyes troubled and then did his gaze clear. Slowly and firmly did he shake his head, showing that the decision he had reached had been difficult yet surely was his decision, and a warmth and gladness I had not expected filled me. When his green gaze came to me and saw my smile, all doubt vanished from it as though the thing had never been. When we turned then to look upon Ceralt, we found that S’Heernoh already studied his frown.

“Different men, different worries,” said the gray-haired Walker, nearly in a murmur. “You have no problem about sharing her with another man, but sharing her life with the life of a warrior is another story, isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” said Ceralt with a heaviness seemingly demanded of him. “To share her love with another man is still to retain it; to share her with the life of a warrior is far too likely to lose both love and her—in the same swordstroke.”

“I can’t argue that,” said S’Heernoh, his tone filled with compassion. “The life of a warrior is dangerous no matter how skilled you are. The thing that has to be remembered here, though, is that the life of a warrior is what made her what she is, what made her into someone who attracted you in the first place. If you take that away from her, will you still have what you fell in love with? Is it fair to punish her for being the very person you want? If the most important thing in your life was taken away, would you want to continue living?”

The blue-eyed gaze of Ceralt had come to me as S’Heernoh spoke, and for a moment after he ceased there was naught save the stare, seeking to read my soul. Then Ceralt heaved a deep sigh, and smiled a smile which warmed as few before had done.

“To keep the thing of greatest importance in my life, then, I must risk it,” said he, his gaze unmoving from my face. “Should there need to be the pain of loss, sooner would I have that pain be mine. I will make no effort to keep her from the life of a warrior.”

“Then we are all in accord,” said Mehrayn with a grin, looking between Ceralt and myself, yet did S’Heernoh immediately shake his head with the accursed amusement which so often filled him.

“Not quite,” said the gray-haired male, this time sending his full attention to me. “When a compromise is necessary, everyone has to compromise, otherwise the whole thing falls apart. Well, daughter? Are you ready to do your part?”

“I know not which part you refer to,” I replied, disliking the manner in which his demand brought annoyance to the limitless joy which had come to me. Odd had the male S’Heernoh ever been, and odd did he remain.

“I’m referring to your part of the agreement,” said he, the words slow and deliberate as he leaned forward to emphasize them. “Mehrayn is giving up his demand to keep you all to himself; in fairness he shouldn’t have to share you with anyone but Ceralt. Ceralt is giving up his demand that you leave the life of a warrior behind; in fairness he should have your word to avoid seeking trouble. If trouble comes to you that’s a different story, but riding out deliberately to seek battle has to be out.”

“What, then, might be left of the life of a warrior?” I demanded dismayed at the instant eagerness to be seen upon Ceralt and Mehrayn. “You now attempt to take what was given me by these others!”

“Not without being willing to give something in return,” said he, his grin in no manner encouraging. “The life you knew as a warrior has already been doomed, and not only by the arrival of those from the Union. Do you think many of the Midanna will find it possible to return to fighting between the clans, now that they’ve fought beside one another? How many of the Midanna and Sigurri will be willing to give each other up? You three intend forming your own family; do you expect to do it in Ceralt’s village? In Mehrayn’s city? In your home tent? What will happen once those of the cities begin learning ‘civilized’ ways from the Union?”

Ceralt, Mehrayn and I exchanged glances, yet were we unable to answer the queries S’Heernoh had put. What, indeed, would become of us?

“Stop looking so stricken all of you,” said S’Heernoh with moderate amusement, allowing his eagerness to gleam forth. “Why do you think I’ve told you everything I have? Just to drop you in an unsolvable muddle? Don’t you realize I have a solution?”

“And what shall it be necessary to give up for that solution?” I asked, in no manner willing to tender the male more than he had already taken. “Should it be our souls, the price has already been exacted.”

“Your souls are yours to keep,” said S’Heernoh with a laugh of greater amusement, truly taking joy from his doing. “Your bodies and minds are what I want, to train in mind control—which is the key to reaching and retrieving everything my people have ever learned and developed—and to explore the newness you’ve developed. You won’t enjoy what the Union has to teach, and you won’t be able to use it. What I have to teach is something else again, and may even provide some adventure. Now, let me think. We’ll tell Aram you survived that wound most likely because you were so near to the emergency healer main console apparatus that it picked you up without the receptor unit. Once we get back we’ll gather up all the Midanna and Sigurri who want to start a new life, find our own place in the wilderness, then start teaching and testing. We’ll have to make sure the Unioners don’t get curious, of course, but that won’t be very . . . .”

The words of the male continued on in thoughtful planning, yet did my eyes go to Ceralt and Mehrayn, whose eyes had already come to me. So eager was I to be with them that even would I allow S’Heernoh his plans—certainly to begin with. Should the time prove uninteresting or too filled with annoyance there would surely be other things to occupy a warrior, and even, perhaps, with the aid of Galiose’s male, Phanisar, as I no longer needed to stand as war leader, a daughter . . . .