Marisa Chenery - Roan's Fall

“For starters it’s more permanent than marriage. As Roan said, your souls have joined. There is no undoing it. And, as you found out from first-hand experience, it isn’t pleasant being separated from your mate.”

Ansley fisted her hands on her lap. “So let me get this straight. The first time we made love we mated, and technically we’re as good as married. Roan knew he would tie me to him forever in this way when we first met, and still he went ahead and did it anyway. Without giving us the chance to get to know each other.” Her voice rose with each word she spoke. “Nor did he even try to tell me anything of his being a werewolf before he went ahead and made love to me.”

Roxie snorted. “That basically says it all. Beowulf did the same thing to me. I reacted about the same way you are now.”

“You two must have worked it out. You seem crazy about each other.”

“Yes, we did in a roundabout way. I’m going to say this even though it sounds kind of cornball, but deep down inside you must have fallen in love with Roan the first time you laid eyes on him. If you hadn’t, your souls never would have joined. I want you to think about that, because I’m going to offer you something that will bring you closer to Roan.”

“The spell?”

“Yes. I don’t want you to give me your answer now. Hell, you can take as long as you want. Years even. My offer is open-ended. Now I’m going to get Roan back in here. I can hear him pacing in the kitchen.”

Ansley couldn’t hear any noise. If anything the house seemed as silent as a tomb. Roxie smiled. “Werewolf hearing. We can hear, smell and see three times better than a mortal.”

After Roxie left her alone, Ansley prepared herself to face Roan again. Talking to Roxie had helped, but she still felt a bit overwhelmed by everything she had learned. It wasn’t every day a girl found herself married, mated, to an over-thousand-year-old werewolf. As for Roxie’s offer to turn her into one, Ansley didn’t know when or if she would be able to take that step. It all depended on how Roan really felt about her, and she about him. She would like to believe their souls joined because they fell in love with each other at first sight, but she was too practical to believe that could be possible. Neither one of them had declared their love for the other. To be quite frank, Ansley had no idea if she loved Roan. Her feelings for him were still too new. She hadn’t had the time to really examine them closely. Roan had barged into her life and she hadn’t been able to think straight since.

Stepping into the living room, Roan found Ansley on the couch. She stared off into space lost in thought. He had no idea if that boded well for him or not. Cautiously, not wanting to startle her, he crossed over to where she sat and took the space next to her.

“I’m so sorry, Ansley. I never planned to spring it on you like this. I wanted to take things slow.”

Ansley kept her gaze fixed straight ahead of her. “I don’t know what to think, Roan. What Roxie told me … it’s an awful lot to digest all at once.”

“I know. Roxie told me to be upfront with you right from the start. You have to understand when a male werewolf finds his mate the mating urge sinks its claws into him and doesn’t let go until he has claimed his mate. It’s hard to ignore when the wolf inside is howling for you to take what belongs to you.” When Ansley didn’t say anything or look at him, Roan sighed. “I know it doesn’t excuse what I did, but can you at least try to forgive me?”

“Do you love me, Roan?” Ansley’s voice sounded flat, emotionless. Roan blinked at the sudden change in topic. “What?”

“I asked if you love me.”

No longer able to stand the distance Ansley had put between them physically and mentally, he pulled her onto his lap. He put a hand under chin and forced her to look at him. “Of course I love you, Ansley. You’re my mate.”

“Are you sure it’s love and not lust? Are you sure it isn’t this mating urge forcing you to feel what you think is love?”

Roan scowled. “It isn’t just the mating urge. I love you. The mating urge never would have kicked in if you weren’t the one meant for me. Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to find my mate?”

“Roxie told me you were over a thousand years old. She also told me about the spell.”

“And?” Roan held his breath, waiting to hear what Ansley’s answer would be.

“I’m not ready for that, Roan. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”

He released the breath he had been holding. “What are you saying, Ansley?”

“You say you love me, but I don’t know if what I feel for you is love or not. I’ve never been in love before. I have no idea what love is. I didn’t exactly grow up knowing the love of a mother or father. I don’t know if I’m even capable of it. I’m just so confused right now.”

Roan pulled Ansley’s head down to his shoulder and rubbed her back. “I won’t ask anything from you that you aren’t ready to give. Just know that I’m not going anywhere, ever. You’re mine. For now, that’s enough for me. We’ll work out the rest as we go along.”

Some of the tension he felt left his body when Ansley snuggled closer into his embrace. At least she hadn’t rejected him outright. The way she had reacted when he had gone wolf, Roan had been pretty worried she would want nothing to do with him. At that moment, Jager popped his head into the living room. “Sorry, never mind me.” He walked over to the couch and picked up his sword where Roxie had left it on the floor.

Much to Roan’s surprise, Ansley lifted her head and shook her head in Jager’s direction. “You better not let Roxie catch you with that. She may kick your butt instead of just taking it from you the next time. And given how big she looked in her half wolf/half human form, I would say she would have no problem kicking your butt if she wanted to.”

Jager shrugged. “She can always try,” he said with a smile. He had just stepped into the hallway when Roan and Ansley heard him say, “Oh, shit.”

The next voice they heard was Roxie’s. “I thought I took that from you already.”

Jager replied, “Well, I took it back.”

“You know how I feel about it,” Roxie said. “Now hand it over.” Jager obviously didn’t do as Roxie had asked, because she then said, “Give me that damn sword, Jager.”

The next thing Roan and Ansley heard were the sounds of heavy footfalls taking off at a run and another much lighter set following behind them. Roxie’s voice drifted to them as she chased after Jager. “You can run, but I’m still going to take that sword away from you.”

Roan and Ansley looked at each other then burst out laughing. Ansley was the first to recover. “Are they always like this?”

“Not all the time. The sword just happens to be a bone of contention between them. Roxie’s just afraid Jager will hurt somebody with it.”

“Would he?”

Roan shook his head. “No. Jager can handle a sword better than most of us. He doesn’t make mistakes like that. As you may have guessed, he’s so attached to the thing you would swear he had been born with it in his hand.”

Ansley’s face grew serious. “You have a sword too, don’t you?”

“Yes. All my brothers have one. Same with Saskia. That’s our weapon of choice.”

“I think I would like to see your sword, Roan,” Ansley said softly. “I have to admit Jager looked pretty hot standing there with his sword raised like that. It made me think about other raised swords.”

Roan growled low in his throat. “You had better be thinking about my sword and not Jager’s. I would hate to beat the crap out of my own brother.”