Jennifer Probst - All the Way

“How can we help?” Archimedes asked.

“Just cover for me. I’m going to find her.” He ripped the envelope from his brother’s hand and tore out. He sensed she wouldn’t be at the paper, but hiding at home. It was a short drive to her apartment. After a few moments of knocking without an answer, he slipped his key in the lock and stepped inside.

Everything was neatly in place. Magazines stacked. Furniture bare. He walked through the rooms and tried to shake off the feeling of abandonment that vibrated in the air. Slowly, as if sensing what he’d find, he entered the bedroom.

The bed was made. The sun trickled through the window and made shadowy patterns against the lace blanket. A crisp white sheet of paper was propped up against the plumpest pillow. Gavin didn’t have to look in the closet to confirm most of her clothes were gone. He didn’t have to tear through her bathroom to know she’d taken all of the essentials, packed them in a bag, and left.

He picked up the note. His fingers trembled.

My dearest Gavin,

Please don’t try to find me. By now you’ll know that I’ve left, and probably received the piece that will run in tomorrow’s edition. I know you’ll be leaving for China, and I don’t blame you for your choice. You were there for your family in their time of need. You were even able to give me the closure I so desperately needed, and I don’t regret the time we spent together.

By allowing myself to love you again, I’ve made peace with the past, and even released myself from some very old demons. But I can’t go with you. I need to get on with my life. I’m not a woman who can wait at home for you to return, or follow you as you chase your dreams. I need more, and you need the freedom in your soul you crave.

I’ll always remember the time we spent together, and perhaps one day, in another time and place, we will meet again. Perhaps that will be our karma.

Miranda

He read the note three times. Carefully, he folded it and slipped the paper into his jacket. Emptiness and pain ripped at his insides, but with a deliberate calm, he forced the emotions in check.

He glanced at the bedroom one last time and walked out.

…

“Where is she?”

Andy groaned and dropped his forehead to the desk. “I knew this would happen! Dammit, just because you supply the newsroom with pastries doesn’t give you the right to tear into our cubicles. I don’t know where she is.”

“You’re lying.” Gavin waited for him to lift his head and leaned in. Anger and frustration shot off him in waves, and he ground his teeth together to keep from punching something. He regretted the ruthlessness he needed to rely on, but right now his life depended on it. “Don’t play games with me, Andy. Her editor told me she took a leave of absence. I can’t get a hold of anyone at Foodie magazine that will talk to me. You’re the only one she confides in, and I want to know now.”

Andy tapped the pen against his desk in a nervous gesture. “You’re giving me too much credit. She called and let me know she’s going away for a while. When I asked her why, she said it’s better if I didn’t know. I asked for how long, and she said it depended. So much for close friendship.”

Gavin studied the man’s features with hard eyes. “Ah, so she didn’t tell you about the other woman?”

“Other woman?” A frown creased his brow. “I thought you were dumping her again to leave for China?”

“Right. But you don’t know anything, do you, Andy?”

“Aww, shit.” Andy looked disgusted. “Okay, so she told me a little. Why don’t you just let her get on with her life instead of torturing her?”

“I’m not going to China, Andy. I quit. I’m staying, and I planned to ask her to marry me tonight.”

Andy threw the pen on the desk and groaned. “Why do I always get dragged into this stuff? She warned me, you know. Told me not to buy into your macho bonding crap and stay strong. Said if I breathed a word to you about her she’d cut off my balls. Gavin, she wasn’t kidding. Don’t mess with a woman who’s pissed off and is good friends with your wife.”

A ghost of a smile passed Gavin’s lips. “I don’t care, I need some help here. I need to stop that review, then find her.”

“Sorry, I’m only Lifestyle and Health. Susan’s her friend who got her the gig at Foodie magazine, though. Maybe she could help?”

“Get her on the phone.”

“Pushy, huh?” Andy grumbled but scrolled through his contacts. After a few conversations, he handed him the phone.

It took Gavin a while to convince Susan the planet would fall apart if that Hotspot Feature went to press. Finally, he secured a deal and hung up the phone.

“What did she say?”

“She needs a replacement column right now.”

“Oh. I don’t know where Miranda keeps her reviews.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re writing another column. Right now.”

Andy’s mouth dropped open. “You’re nuts. I can’t whip up a review. I’m Lifestyle and Health.”

“So you keep saying. You and Elaine eat out a lot. You accompany Miranda. I want you to write something now, Andy, and email it to Susan in the next half hour.”

Andy moaned. “This is a nightmare. Why do these things happen to me? Why do I always get involved?”

“Because you’re one of the good guys.”

“Sounds like a bad western.” He paused. “Even if I can pull this off, you still don’t know where she is.”

“I know people. I’ll find her.” He turned to stride away, then glanced back. “I’ll confirm you sent the article to Susan in a bit. And Andy? If you don’t help me, you’ll have to live with the knowledge you broke up a perfect relationship.”

“Perfect? You two never had a perfect relationship. I don’t need this kind of pressure. See, this is what happens when a person tries to help out a friend. I get dragged into a lover’s mess, and I’m the one who gets blamed if it doesn’t work out. Is this fair? Gavin, are you listening to me?”

Gavin hid a grin as Andy’s voice echoed down the corridor.

…

Miranda lifted her face toward the sun and allowed the warm rays to pour over her in a lover’s caress. She sighed with pleasure and let her gaze sweep the jagged mountain peaks that lay in the distance. The scent of wood and damp earth rose to her nostrils, and she enjoyed the crunch under her feet as she walked up the twisting pathway toward the cabin.

A bird cried out. She smiled as the sound echoed through the trees and once again felt a deep sense of peace and healing. Funny, she’d never been able to settle here without bad memories of her lost parents. Her grandmother used to drag her away from the city during the summers in an effort to get her away from the riffraff. Fresh country air and home cooking, she used to admonish. As a child, she craved the excitement of others, and not a cabin where the nearest mall was miles away. After her grandmother passed, it hurt too much to stay here, with memories of the only parent she’d known drifting in the air.

But now, she only experienced a knowledge that she belonged here. Miranda ran her fingers down the bark of an old oak tree. Sadness tugged at her belly and brought a familiar wave of longing. Only a week. Seven days. In a way, it felt like an entire lifetime since she’d last seen him. Touched him. Laughed with him.

She tilted her head toward the sky and imagined him flying to China, off on a new adventure. When she’d first met him, she’d been an impulsive child-woman, hungry for passion and afraid of love. After he left, she’d ruthlessly cut out those qualities and believed they were a sign of weakness. But the walls she built locked out all emotion, until the iciness closed off any feelings left.