rlfj: A Fresh Start

"I'll be damned! Who else knew?"

"Mindy picked up on it while you were still in Congress, and she confirmed it with Marty. I snookered Marty Adrianopolis into confirming it for me after I had a suspicion. Tell me, just how much have you spent through ARI?"

"I will be damned!" I sighed and gave it all some thought. I guess Marty and I weren't the big sneaks we thought we were. I looked back at Frank and admitted, "Since we started? Probably $450 to $500 million, maybe more. I'd have to add it up."

It was Frank's turn to stare. "You spent half a billion dollars getting stuff passed! Jesus Christ!"

"It might be more. Frank, you have no idea how much money I am worth. I am worth way more now than when I became the President. The game is so slanted towards the top that I could spend that much money on politics, trying to even out the playing field, and still make more than I was spending!" I shrugged helplessly. "Who the hell else knows?"

He shrugged. As far as I know, it's just us four, you, me, Mindy, and Marty. You really had to be inside to see it fall into place. You and Marty buried it pretty good, but not from the real insiders. Neither Mindy nor I would have stuck if we didn't go along with you, so your secret is safe."

"Damn!"

"So, you'll now have two lobbying groups reporting to you, the American Renaissance Initiative and Adrianopolis/Stouffer, and Brewster McRiley will have McRiley Associates, the Austin Consulting Group, and the Republican National Committee working for you. Like I said, we're still going to be running things."

"I'm not following you. What do you mean about Mindy joining you and waiting for me!?". I asked.

"She's coming in with Marty and me, though she's not a lawyer. She's going to hang out as a lobbyist and manager until you get your shit together.", he said with a sly smile.

"What do you mean, get my shit together?"

"Mister President, with all due respect, the idea that you are going to simply retire and putter around the garden is ridiculous. In a matter of weeks, certainly within a few months, you are going to drive yourself mad with boredom. At some point you are going to decide to launch another crusade about something. When that happens, Mindy will join you and be your keeper. She's already cleared it with your wife.", he told me.

"Smart ass!" I flipped him the middle finger, which set him to laughing. "You think you have me figured out!"

"Boss, we've already started a pool on how long you last. The minimum is six weeks, the maximum is six months."

"You're full of shit! I can't wait to let Marilyn know this. She'll get a good laugh."

"She's in on it, too. She put a twenty down on you, and not on the long side, either.", he laughed.

"You little bastard! Get the hell out of here!"

Frank left still laughing. I called Marty Adrianopolis and confirmed everything Frank had told me. He also added that Cheryl Dedrick was going to be on the board at ARI. I knew she was out of a job in January. After 18 years, the Maryland Ninth had reverted to the Democrats. Along with the new winners, she had been one of the losers I called election night. Cheryl was going to play the lobbying game, as well as sit on a few corporate boards. I couldn't fault her; she had children bound for college, too.

Still fuming after both Frank and Marty told me how predictable I was, I went up to the Residence and asked Marilyn about it. Rather than denying Frank's report, she said, "They weren't supposed to tell you!"

"You mean it's true!? You really are betting twenty bucks on when I get bored and unretired!? Marilyn!"

"Oh, you behave. Yes. You'll go nuts sitting around all day! After a few weeks of vacation, a month at best, you'll get your knee replaced, and as soon as that's over, you'll just be stewing around the house. Mindy told me she was going to start scouting Washington office space in the spring, for whatever you call your new venture."

I was sitting down, and I harrumphed at her. Marilyn just rolled her eyes at me and then bent down and kissed me on my bald spot, which made me swat at her. A bunch of smart asses, the lot of them!

After lunch I went back down to the Oval Office. I met President-Elect McCain in the hallway. "Find out how long your wife is betting on you?", he asked.

I stared at him for a second. "Don't tell me you're in on this, too!"

Behind him a pair of secretaries coming down the hall giggled and turned around, ducking into an open door. I called out, "I saw that! This is treason! Treason!"

John shrugged and smiled. "I'm not too worried. In just a few weeks I'll be able to write myself a pardon."

"Treason!"

I already knew what some of the other various senior staffers were going to be doing after leaving the White House. Marc Thiessen had left immediately after the election, and was already working on K Street as a lobbyist. Matt Scully would be going to work as an editor for National Review . Will Brucis was heading over to ARI as the Director of Communications, essentially his current job, even though he didn't know it was my lobbying company. Both Matt and Will were contemplating books about their time in the White House and the Buckman administration; how successful they would be made me wonder. I suspected Fletcher Donaldson would do better; he had already approached me with plans to write a biography on me and wanted, not so much permission, but cooperation. Even I had been approached by a couple of publishing houses for my memoirs, but it wasn't like I needed the cash, and I really didn't care.

Congress was sworn in on Tuesday, January 6 th. John would be sworn in on Tuesday, January 20 th. In between, on Saturday night, the 10 th, I would host my final dinner with the new Congressmen and Senators. I had done this in 2003, 2005, and 2007, and it was still my responsibility. I would speak briefly, but really the evening was to introduce them to President-Elect McCain, and he would be speaking as well.

That night went a little longer than planned, because just about everybody wanted photos taken with both John and me, two Presidents. Then, during the remarks section, I kept my remarks brief. After the usual welcome and a few bland statements about moving the nation forward and always being available to work with them (and mentioning that John McCain would be available in another ten days) I finished with my regular ending.

"Now, I am sure that some of you are probably feeling a bit overwhelmed by now. The folks back home sent you here to do a job, and you aren't quite sure what to do. Well, I'll simply remind you all that both John and I started out as freshman Congressmen, and if we figured it out, I'm sure you will, also. However, in case anybody here isn't completely sure what their job is, let me tell you something that happened to me during my freshman year.

I happened to be at my district office in Westminster, and Marilyn had just started working there as an unpaid intern. While I was there, a call came in and Marilyn answered it, and it was from a woman in Westminster, and she was complaining about something. Marilyn was telling the woman how I was a Congressman and worked in Washington and was very important, and how she needed to call somebody in Westminster to handle such a small problem, and the whole conversation was going downhill quickly. I called a quick time-out and took the phone, and I asked the lady what the problem was. She told me her garbage hadn't been picked up and wanted to know who was going to fix this! I took down her name and address and phone number and told her I would take care of it. Then I asked her why she had called me, and not the town. Her response? She didn't want to bother anybody important right off the bat!

So always remember the real reason you have been sent here. Your job in Washington is not to be important and do lofty things. Your job in Washington is to clean up the garbage. Good luck!"