Tymber Dalton - Cardinal's Rule

She shrieked, cried, kicked, and finally went limp as she sobbed. “You took him from me, you fucking bastard! I want him back. You fucking son of a bitch, I want him back!”

He knew he deserved every bit of it and more. He held her as she cried in his arms, trying to ignore how painfully thin she felt compared to the last time he held her. He never would have let her get this skinny if he’d been with her. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered through his own tears. “I’m so sorry.”

She cried long and hard, not struggling against his grip. Finally, she broke free and away from him, turning to sit and look at him.

He forced himself not to drop his gaze to the carpet again. Her hair had been so beautiful. He remembered how it felt to run his hands through it, the natural color perfect for her. She’d chopped it short and dyed it a harsh color that added years to her looks and didn’t suit her at all. Small lines that hadn’t been there before etched her face, around her eyes and across her forehead.

She looked gaunt. Haunted.

She scooted even further away from him. “No.” She jabbed her finger at him. “You don’t fucking get to call me baby . Not after you fucking abandoned me!” She scrabbled to her feet and backed away from him. “Get out!”

He nodded and slowly climbed to his feet. Damn, he would be black and blue tomorrow. He started for the door.

“I just want to know one thing,” she said before he reached the hallway. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you abandon me?”

He took a deep breath and finally forced himself to meet her gaze again. “Because I didn’t think you would want me,” he said. “If I’d told you about my past.”

She looked shocked. “What? Why would you think that?”

Well, this was progress. She hadn’t ordered him out again and she wasn’t attacking him anymore. “Because I heard you and Loren talking one day. About a FetLife posting you guys saw. You were discussing if Ross or I ever wanted to switch, what you’d think. You told her you couldn’t handle that. That you needed a strong Master. That it would freak you out if I ever did that.” He shrugged.

“I’m sorry. Master’s right. I should have talked to you and told you the truth from the start.”

She stared at him. “Did the thought of asking me what I would think ever occur to you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Quit fucking saying that!” she screamed, her voice cracking. “It doesn’t help! There are not enough ‘I’m sorries’ in the goddamn world to make up for what you did to me!” She stomped across the room and shoved him again. “Do you have any idea how long I spent in the fucking hospital, drugged out of my mind after you left? Ross and Loren carried me into the ER.” She punched him, hard, in the shoulder. That one did hurt. “I had to go to the fucking parole hearing alone, you son of a bitch!”

She started crying again. “Did it ever cross your mind that if you had told me the truth about him that maybe, just maybe I would have offered to go with you? To help you? To serve him with you?”

That rocked him harder than any of her blows. No, he hadn’t thought it. It never crossed his mind. “I just assumed—”

She threw up her arms in disgust. “Fuck. Me. Thanks a lot, asshole, for not having faith in me and my goddamned love for you!” She turned her back on him and walked over to the sliding glass doors. “They let the fucker out,” she quietly said. “They let him out on parole.”

His gut tightened even more but he didn’t say anything. Nothing he said could be right and he knew it.

“I begged them not to let him out,” she continued, “but they looked at me like I was some freaking pitiful, hysterical little douchebag. Then they let the fucker out, said he was rehabilitated. I could barely talk I was so fucking frightened, but I went there by myself and I talked to them even if it didn’t do any goddamned good. Then the son of a bitch raped a thirteen year-old girl six months later.”

She turned to him. “You know, maybe if you’d been there, maybe if I hadn’t been pissing my pants scared to be there alone, maybe I could have talked like an intelligent person. Maybe they would have listened to me. I’ve never stopped blaming you for that.”

The fun house of horrors just kept getting bigger.

She drew herself up to her full height, still nearly a foot shorter than him in her bare feet. “I do have you to thank for one thing. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Fuck him.’ You were right that I could do anything I put my mind to.” She held up her arms and spun around. “This house, my car, everything. I took the mindfuck you put me through and turned it into a profitable living.

“Oh, I spent the first several months in Ross’ collar because he and Loren both felt terrified I’d kill myself. Maybe I would have if it hadn’t been for them. He made me promise not to and just let me be myself. He told me I could take his collar off when I felt strong enough to go on with my life. I finally could.”

She planted her hands on her hips. “Then I finally decided fuck you! I don’t want any goddamned collars in my life. Not on me .” She advanced on him again. “ I collar people. They pay me to mindfuck them . They pay me to beat them . They pay me pretty damn well, too.”

She shook her head as she looked him up and down. “There’s part of me tempted to take him up on his offer just so I can kick you in the balls every fucking morning first thing when I get out of bed.”

Offer?

She looked near tears again. “I would have done anything you asked of me. Would it have shocked me? Yes. Under the circumstances, had you told me about him, I would have helped you. I would have loved you for feeling responsible for him. I was your fucking slave ! I was willing to be your wife ! Don’t you think I knew how strong that bond can be? Too bad you didn’t appreciate my gift of submission.” Her eyes widened. “Wait. Stay right there, asshole.”

She turned and raced from the room. He heard her rummaging around, then she returned a few minutes later with something in her hand. She grabbed his left hand and jammed the item into his palm and closed his fingers around it.

“There. You can have that back. I almost threw it away. Once I realized you weren’t coming back and gave up that little illusion, I took it off. Probably the third worst night of my fucking life, I cried myself to sleep that night because I knew it meant you really weren’t there for me anymore. I finally had to admit it to myself. I couldn’t hold on to my pathetic dream that maybe you’d come back.

You’re not my fucking Master anymore. A little late to say it, but I want to make it official just in case there’s any doubt in that pea-brain of yours: I withdraw my submission to you. Now get. The fuck. Out of my house.”

He fought his own tears as he felt the fluorite pendant dig into his palm. He’d spent weeks looking for something for her to wear as a day collar. The colors were perfect, purple and green and blue, her favorites. She’d never willingly taken it off while they were together. One time the clasp broke and she was in tears when he made her leave it at the jeweler’s overnight so they could fix it.

He turned to go.

“You can’t even say anything to me?”

“I wish I’d made a different choice,” he softly said. “I love you. You deserved to be treated better than I treated you.”

“Fuckin’ A I did.”

She slammed and locked the door behind him.

He didn’t know what else to do, so he sat on the step at the end of the walkway and waited for Landry’s return. He held up the pendant. He could still conjure her happy squeals when she opened the box and saw it. How she’d cried, happy tears that time, when he draped it around her neck and hooked the clasp for her.