“Yes, I meant Master Wolf,” Dani said.
Dani didn’t seem to have noticed her mental drift off. Shelley was happy she didn’t have a “pining for Leo” face.
“And?” Maybe he would be ordinary looking. Or much older. A nice man who would lead her on this journey but who wouldn’t tempt her. Yes. She could use a friendly, kind mentor.
Dani’s eyes lit up. “Don’t you ever tell Julian I said this, but I think my eyes just about popped out of my head. He’s gorgeous. I mean it. I drooled a little.”
“Are we talking about Wolf?” Finn Taylor asked as he walked into the room. His hand was on his tie, pulling it off. He set his briefcase down. Finn Taylor was Dani’s other husband. Suddenly Shelley found herself surrounded by happy ménages.
But she only wanted one man. Leo. And she could never have him.
“Yes,” Dani said, flushing slightly.
“Don’t feel bad, baby,” Finn assured her. He leaned over and brushed his lips across hers, his hand caressing her round belly. “That man is sex on a stick. Holy hotness. You would have to be blind not to notice him. I just get the feeling there’s something Julian’s not telling us about him.”
Dani looked up at her husband, her eyes narrowing. “Is he plotting again?”
“He’s always plotting, baby. I just haven’t figured this one out yet.” Finn sat on the arm of the comfy seat and turned to Shelley, his hand never leaving his wife’s belly. “Welcome to sub world, Shelley. Doms never let you in on their plots, so you have to be sneaky.”
“It’s called topping from the bottom. We’ve made an art of it.” She leaned her head back. “We’ll figure it out.”
“So he’s attractive?” Would she think so, or was she so caught up in Leo that no other man would ever quite do?
“Take it from a bi-guy, he’s gorgeous. I would guess he’s ex-military, but I think I see a little cowboy in there, too. And he was nice. I only talked to him for a minute, but I got a good vibe. Some Doms are real assholes, but he seemed like a genuine guy.”
And he would be her Master. Well, for training purposes. What was she doing?
Putting her life back together. She straightened her shoulders. She wasn’t going to sit around any longer. She’d moped for long enough. It was time for Shelley McNamara to figure out who the hell she was. She’d been Bryce’s wife. Before that she’d been Trev McNamara’s sister and her parents’ daughter.
It was time to find out if she could just be Shelley.
“When is your meeting?” Dani asked.
She glanced up at the clock. Too soon. Way too soon. Could she rethink this? Get out of this? She could just tell Julian Lodge that she’d reconsidered and realized that it was ridiculous to think she really wanted to get tied up and spanked and forced to call some stranger Sir.
Especially when all of her fantasies didn’t involve a stranger but a man she’d dreamed of every day since the moment she’d met him. She’d made horrible decisions that had led her to being forced to throw the only man she’d ever really loved out of her life, and she didn’t deserve a second chance. Not that he seemed to want to give her one. He wouldn’t even look at her. Two months and all she’d gotten from him was a cold nod as they’d passed each other in the hall.
As if she didn’t really exist. As if he’d never kissed her, never offered to take her away.
She needed to forget Leo Meyer.
“She’s got her ‘pining for Leo’ face on,” Finn whispered.
Shelley laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. It felt amazing to be able to laugh at her own ridiculous self. How many years had it been since she’d simply laughed without thinking about how her husband would take it? “I was really hoping I didn’t have one of those.”
Dani shot her a sympathetic look. “No, sweetie, it’s totally there. Are you sure you want to do this? Julian could talk to him. Julian is very good at manipulating people. If Leo was your trainer, I seriously doubt he would be able to keep his hands off you. It could bring you together.”
Leo had made it plain that it was over. She was self-aware enough to admit that she’d hoped she would walk in and Leo would fall all over himself to get to her, but that wasn’t what had happened. He wouldn’t talk to her. He would smile and make chitchat with all of the other employees. Leo Meyer was like the life of the party until the moment he realized she was there. Then he would shut down like someone had unplugged him.
She didn’t want that for him. “No. Maybe I should go somewhere else. I think I’m making Leo miserable. That wasn’t my intention.”
Finn leaned forward. “No. I don’t think Julian is going to allow you to go somewhere else. Come on, Shelley. You can’t cut off a piece of yourself just because Leo has a stick shoved up his ass.”
She shrugged. She had cut pieces of herself off for a really long time. “Maybe I’m not submissive.”
Lie. Her husband had used her general nature against her for years. It was why she’d been attracted to him in the first place. She was deeply attracted to a commanding presence. Bryce just hadn’t had the soul to back it up. She longed for a man who knew how to give back.
“Perhaps you aren’t ready.”
Four words proved just how submissive she was. Not the words, but the way Julian Lodge said them. She turned and found Julian standing in the doorway, his eyes pinning her where she stood.
Julian Lodge was one amazing-looking man, but it was his presence that moved her. And Julian Lodge knew how to love his partners. She wanted what Dani had found. Hell, she wanted what her brother had. Trev had found himself in this place. This place and the man in front of her had transformed her brother from an addict who thought only of himself to a man she was damn proud of. Trev had gotten over his guilt to become the kind of man who everyone relied on.
“I am ready, Sir. I’m sorry. Sometimes I let the past weigh me down.” But she couldn’t drown under it. She couldn’t.
Julian’s face softened. “I understand that. I truly do. Would it help at all if I told you I think Leo is just being stubborn?”
“No. He has his reasons to be stubborn. Please, if he’s against this, let me know. I’ll finish my work here and I’ll go. I owe that much to him.”
“He’s agreed. And he’s agreed to my choice of Dom.” It was said with the slightest tightness to his tone. Shelley had to wonder exactly what had happened. “Let it go, dear. Everything is in place for you. Leo will be fine. He’s excellent at seeing other people’s issues, and not so good at seeing his own. But he is dear to me. I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to. I know he will never believe me, but I truly selected this Dom because I think he’s what you need. And I believe you will be good for Master Wolf. He’s different.”
“Good,” Shelley said, her mind made up. She would meet Wolf. She was deeply intrigued by the man. He’d seemed smart and funny and sweet over the phone. A little like Leo. She would be grateful for all of the amazing gifts Leo had given her. She loved him. Loved him deep and true and forever. She would go to her grave with Leo Meyer on her mind, but she wasn’t good for him. Maybe Julian was right. It would be good to bring some joy to someone. “I’m looking forward to finally meeting him in person, Sir.”
Julian smiled, a little uptick of his lips. “Excellent, because he’s ready to meet you. Please find something appropriate to wear. The jeans and paint-splattered T-shirt are fine for working on the nursery, but I expect your new Master will want something a bit more feminine.”
Shelley looked down at her clothes. She’d brought a little bag with her best slacks and a pretty silk shirt. It was professional with a little hint of sex appeal. She hoped it hadn’t wrinkled. She’d spent the day with the painters working on the mural for the baby’s room before the furniture had arrived. She must look horrible, and she didn’t have much time.
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