Sophie Oak - Siren in Bloom

“Because I thought he might actually get Alexei Markov, and for a couple of minutes, I was okay with that.”

“Markov was the man involved with the mob? He was there when you were beaten?”

Logan’s eyes came up, and there was a deep blankness that Leo had seen before in men and women who had survived unimaginable things. Sometimes he saw that blankness in Shelley’s eyes. “Markov fed me to them to give himself a little time.”

“I can see where you would want revenge.”

“But that wasn’t what really got me, Doc.”

Leo was silent, allowing Logan to come to his own decision to speak.

“What really scared the crap out of me was the fact that when I shot that asshole, I liked it.”

Yes, that was the heart of the problem. And it was definitely something they needed to work on. He sat back and sighed. “It’s a good thing to admit that.”

“Really? It’s a good thing to admit that I’m some kind of a freaky killer?”

“No. We have to talk about these things so these feelings and impulses have no power over us. We learn to control them. Both my brother and I served in the Navy. We both saw heavy action. Do you honestly believe I never high-fived after I sniped a target? That my heart didn’t race and I didn’t find some sense of satisfaction in killing the man I was charged with killing? I did. Wolf did. I’m sure your boss has. It’s not having the feeling that creates the problem. It’s giving in to it. We can talk about this. And we’ll begin working on your impulse control and your trust issues.”

“I don’t have trust issues.”

Leo laughed.

“I don’t,” Logan insisted. “Look, if you’re looking for some deep, dark secret, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I was raised in a loving family. I love my moms. I adore them, and don’t you dare tell me that having two lesbians for moms fucked me up.”

“I would never say that. It wouldn’t be true. Having loving parents is deeply important no matter their gender.”

“I loved my town. I still love my town. I trust my friends and my boss. I just hate that fucker Markov. If he wasn’t around, I would have been fine.”

“Because you didn’t have any problems before he came back? That’s not what this file says.”

“I don’t have issues with trust when it comes to anyone but that Russian asshole.”

“You do. You have trust issues that run so deep you can no longer function, and it’s not Markov who is the problem. You might not trust him, but that’s not the core. That’s not the person who broke trust with Logan Green in such a deep way that you can’t come back from it on your own.”

Logan threw his hands up in obvious disgust. “Who? Oh, great and mighty fucking Oz, who? Tell me because you seem to know so fucking much. You can’t even get along with your brother, who’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. You seem to have some problems of your own, but obviously you know what I don’t.”

He didn’t react to the bile. It was common at this stage. “You, Logan. You don’t trust yourself anymore. You don’t trust your dreams or your hopes. You don’t trust the world you built for yourself. We have to get you back to the place where you trust the Logan Green who lives inside you.”

Logan stopped, his head going down. His hands were on the arms of the chair, and they tightened before he finally looked up. “How the fuck do I do that, Doc?”

Now he had him. Yes, he could work with Logan Green. “I’m going to show you. We start tonight. I had the staff send a pair of leathers to your room. You’ll wear them with boots. A shirt is optional. You’re a Dom-in-training. Included with the leathers is a training contract. Please read through it and sign it before we begin.”

Leo stood. This session was over, and he was pleased with the results.

Logan stayed where he was, his eyes coming up. “How is spanking women going to make me trust myself?”

This was the part most people didn’t get. “There’s trust between a Dom and a sub. It has to run deep. The power exchange can be a powerful thing, but there’s beauty even in the small exchanges. Over time, after training, you’ll learn discipline and how to control yourself because you wouldn’t ever, ever want to abuse the trust they place in you. And when you reach that place where some lovely, soft woman trusts you with her body, with her life, you’ll learn that you’re worthy of that trust, and you’ll believe in yourself.”

Logan stared for a moment, the words seeming to sink in. “Wolf was right. You’re not an asshole.”

Guilt gnawed at him. “I can be.”

“But you know what you’re doing.”

Leo nodded. “When it comes to this, yes.”

Logan shook his hand and walked out of the room, promising to meet Leo at eight.

And Leo was alone with the soothing sound of his fountain.

He wasn’t unattractive, damn it. He just wasn’t an overgrown freaking male model. What the hell was she thinking?

And why hadn’t he known about Wolf’s migraines? His brother had looked weary, and Shelley had known exactly what he’d needed.

There was a knock on the door. Excellent. Maybe someone had gone bonkers in the dungeon and needed intense therapy. Yeah, that would help. He opened the door to his office. Kitten stood there, biting her bottom lip, her eyes sliding away from his as though her shoes were suddenly very interesting.

Kitten. The secretary Julian had foisted off on him. Kitten, who barely managed to answer a phone without crying she was so damn shy.

“You have a call, Sir.”

“You don’t have to call me Sir outside the dungeon, Kitten. My name is Leo.” He’d explained it to her before, but she simply continued. She was here because she was Finn’s cousin, the only member of his family he still spoke to, and Julian was a sucker.

Note, he didn’t hire Kitten to work for him. No, the bastard had foisted the wretchedly shy girl off on Leo. Still, she was a sweet girl.

“Yes, Sir Leo. You had a call. He knows you. He said he knows you. He could be lying. Kitten doesn’t know. Kitten is not very good at catching lies. Kitten believed it when the Prince of Nigeria wrote me and wanted me to trade checks with him. Did you know he was willing to pay millions of dollars just to get his money out of the country? Kitten thinks Nigeria must be a very dangerous place. Luckily Kitten didn’t have any checks to send him. It was a scam. That’s what Finn told Kitten. Can you believe it?”

And Kitten had serious self-esteem issues. In the months she’d been at The Club, Leo still hadn’t heard her refer to herself in anything but the third person. “Shocking. Now, who called?”

She blinked a couple of times and then the light came into her eyes. “Oh, the phone call. Yes. You had a phone call. His name was Steve Holder.”

Leo did a double take. Seriously? Steve “Madman” Holder was calling him? It had been years and years. God, it had been forever since he’d talked to anyone from the Teams. When he’d walked away from the Navy, he’d cut himself off.

A vision of Ada assaulted him.

Fuck, there was a reason he’d left it all behind.

“I’ll call him back later.” He turned and walked back to his office. He didn’t want to talk to Holder. Holder would bring back a million bad memories, but he did have someone he wanted to talk to. He picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, dear,” Leo said, his voice filled with warmth for the woman on the other end of the line. Seeing Kitten had made him think of Janine. She was Kitten’s therapist, but she’d been much more to Leo. They’d been a horrible married couple, but they turned out to be pretty damn good friends.

“Leo, it’s good to hear from you. I was going to call you to let you know Harry and I will be at The Club tonight. I think I have enough of my figure back to feel decent about shoving my body into some PVC. Not so sure about the heels, though. I think pregnancy ruined my feet. How weird is that?” Janine Halloway asked with a laugh. She and her husband had recently had baby number three.