J. McKenna - Secretary’s Punishment

Edward was about to give up, thinking she would never allow herself to be under his control again. Before he took that final step, he decided to pay one more visit to Paul. Maybe he could help him understand why she was being so reluctant. This time, it was easier for him to call the experienced Dom and they agreed to meet again at the club. Edward arrived first and was sipping his drink when Paul walked in.

“Edward! Nice to see you again.” Paul stuck out his hand.

Edward shook it and nodded his greeting. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me again. I’m at my wit’s end.”

“What seems to be the problem? We’re still talking about Emily, right?”

“Right.” He explained how he had gone to her and apologized and she had said she needed time.

“But that was more than a month ago and she won’t budge. We talk on the phone now and then—when I can get through—and I think she still likes me, but she just doesn’t seem to be able to move forward.”

“Hmm.” Paul steepled his fingers. “Interesting.”

“What?”

“Let me ask you: Describe for me a typical phone conversation you’ve had with her in the last couple weeks.”

“Uh, well, she’ll say hello and I’ll identify myself and we talk about her job or my company and then I’ll ask her if she’s feeling any better about me and if she’d consider coming back to work for me. Or even to live with me, if she’ll have me.”

“Ah, I think I see your problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if Emily is as submissive as you say, she may be waiting for you to take charge again. She needs to feel protected, see—”

“And I violated that.”

“Yes and you told her it was a mistake and that was fine. But now you’re acting more like a lovesick boyfriend than a Dom, don’t you see?”

Edward thought about that. The position of power had certainly changed. He realized he had given her the authority to make the decision about whether she would forgive him or come back to St. Louis. Slowly he began to nod his head.

“I think I see. But how do I know when she’s ready? I mean, I made a mistake and I want to ease back into it. If I go back there and frighten her, I’ll never get her back.”

“Yes, it’s tricky. You have to be able to read the signs. Watch her expression, watch her body language. That will tell you what she wants.”

“I fear she might run away screaming or something.”

“No, she’s already done that. Moving three hundred miles away was her statement.” He paused. “Do you think she’s happy in her new place, her new job?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t say much about it. I get the feeling it’s just a job to her.”

“Good. So she’s working it out in her mind. She’s safe but unfulfilled. What you have to do is show her that you offer that excitement she needs—without the danger. For now, anyway.”

“What do you mean, ‘for now’?”

“You’ve heard of a ‘love-hate’ relationship, right? Well, for subs, it’s more like ‘need-fear’ relationship with their Dom. They fear you a little—that’s what the punishments are all about. But it also excites them to no end. They need it. Once the accept your control in a loving way, you’ll find you can push them further and further along until you reach their limit—or have them where you want them.”

“And where is that?”

“That, my friend, is up to you. And her, of course. That’s what’s so fun about the lifestyle—exploring that edge where both parties are getting what they want, even if it’s a little bit dangerous.”

For the first time, Edward understood what must’ve been going on in Adriana’s mind. He hadn’t pushed her nearly enough. She had felt frustrated. So when Master Paul came along, she found a renewed excitement. Edward realized for the first time if he had acted more forcefully when she was wavering, she probably would’ve stayed with him.

But then he would not have found Emily.

“The subs really have a lot of power, don’t they?”

“Yes and no. They have limits, and they’ll tell you when you reach them. But they also need that subjugation—in a safe environment, of course. I’d say Emily is missing out on that. She’s afraid, but that will fade with time. She’ll want what she had, but not with the same intensity at first. Later on, you can explore her limits at your leisure.”

“I’m still not entirely sure how to handle her now. I don’t want to scare her away and I don’t want to keep calling her if she’s resisting me.”

“Yes. What you need to do now, I think, is to start exerting your authority again. In small doses. Just give her a little push as you talk. It will reawaken her needs and if I’m right, you’ll find her eager to talk to you as the days pass. You must show her that you’re a real Dom, not some fumbling amateur.”

“But I feel like an amateur!”

“You’re new at it. I think your heart’s in the right place. Go with your gut. Listen to her carefully. That’s the best advice I can give you. Listen and believe in yourself.”

On the way home, Edward thought about Paul’s advice. It was true that he had almost abandoned his efforts at domination of her because he felt so guilty. Well, it was time to stop that. Don’t be a jerk, but don’t be a pushover. No sub wants a pushover.

That night, he called Emily. When she didn’t answer, the machine picked up and Edward said, “Emily, it’s me. I know you’re there. Please pick up the phone. It’s important.”

His heart leapt when she obeyed him.

“Yes? I’m sorry, I was in the other room,” she said and he knew it was probably a lie.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. What’s so important?”

“My secretary is thinking of leaving and I’m going to need a new one.” He paused and let that information sink it. Suzie hadn’t said any such thing, but he could read the signs. She was becoming fed up with his quirky behavior and he doubted she’d last another month.

Emily didn’t say anything. Edward could hear her breathing on the phone. “I would like you to come back and work for me.”

“But I have a job,” she said.

“Tell me about it.”

“I told you. I’m just a secretary, like before.”

“Tell me about your boss.” She had never really gone into detail before.

“Uh, he’s okay. Kinda quiet.”

“Come on, Miss Robinson, you can do better than that.” He was using his Dom voice but lightly so as to not to scare her away. “Describe him for me.”

“He, uh, he’s kinda fat. And distracted. He’s got papers all over his desk all the time.”

“Do you really prefer him to working for me?”

“Well, it’s different.”

“You know what you need. That job represents boredom and lack of fulfillment.”

“It’s not dangerous,” she said pointedly.

Edward knew he was at a critical moment. He tried to think what Paul might say at this point. “Yes, we’ve gone over that. You already know it won’t happen again. What you need to think about now is how much you miss the other parts of it.”

Again she didn’t speak but Edward thought her breathing came a little more quickly now.

“It excited you. It’s all right to admit it.”

“I ... I don’t...”

“Come on, be honest. It reached a part of you that you didn’t know you had.”

“It ... it scared me.”

“I know it did. But that’s not all, is it?”

“Uh, no,” she admitted.

“Sooner or later, you’ll want to return to it. You’ll seek it out. And your next ‘boss’ might not understand you as well as I do. He might scare you even more.”

“I don’t know. I have to think.”

Edward felt it would be a mistake to let her off the hook so easily. “I want to see you this weekend.”