Lauren Hammond - Famished

The truth of it all was that I was actually insanely jealous. Yes, I knew he was a bit of a womanizer. But I was under the impression that the kiss he had given me meant something. It meant something to me. Why not him? I mean, who goes around kissing people at random? Apparently, Colin Martin did.

Closing my eyes, I thought about the warmth of his lips as they gently caressed mine. The way a shiver ran down my spine when his fingers tugged on my waist. If Colin was a disease I would want to be infected.

“Good morning, students,” said Mrs. Edwards as she walked to the front of the room.

Bonnie Edwards used to be a high school teacher. She was a mousy, brunette with A knack for proper etiquette . She had a petite stature and when she moved her short, stubby legs, she looked like she was waddling. Her shrill, high pitched voice resembled the sound a cat makes when someone was trying to drown it. And the sound of her voice made my skin crawl. My eyes shot open as Mrs. Edwards walked over to the dry erase board. “Everyone focus on the dry erase board,” Mrs. Edwards screeched. I cringed, keeping focused as she wrote a math problem on the board. Yeah, today was going to suck. Big time.

Toward the end of class, Colin nudged me trying to get my attention. I ignored him, pretending like I was absorbed in doing my math. When I didn’t respond, he waited a minute and nudged me again. “What do you want, Colin?” I asked, not looking up from my notepad.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked.

I kept my eyes on the paper, not meeting his gaze.Every time I thought I had control of our complexity of a situation he threw a curveball at me. “Being mad would require me actually caring.”

He guffawed, “Jesus Georgie, why do you have to be so harsh all the time?”

I threw my pencil down and glared at him. “You really want to know?” My harsh attitude toward him was a way to cover up the way I really felt. Colin scared me. The way I felt about him scared me. Now, he was probing me. And the only thing I could do was put all of my worries and fears out there.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

I exhaled. “I can’t tolerate guys like you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Guys like me?”

“Yes, guys like you. I went to school with hundreds of you. You’re full of yourself, you have a different girl every week, and your main goal in life is getting in her pants.” I lowered my voice. “And what happened between us, you might as well forget about it. Because it will never happen again.” Even though I wanted it to happen again. At least a dozen times more.

He looked at me distastefully. “You don’t know anything about me or what kind of guy I am.”

“Please,” I harrumphed. “Number one, I’ve witnessed it for myself. Two, I’ve heard all the rumors.”

“That’s exactly why they’re called rumors. Because they aren’t true.”

“I saw you with Anna Shafer. What you were doing with her looked pretty real to me. And according to everyone else, you got caught alone with girls on several different occasions.”

“I got caught once with, Anna. And I actually liked the girl. That just goes to show you how far people are willing to go to fabricate something other than the truth.”

That surprised me. I couldn’t even answer him right away. I had fed into the rumors just like everybody else. Let’s face it, the colony was beyond tiny. It was miniscule. When stories got spread around, it didn’t take long for them to reach everyone. And after the story got passed down from person to person. Each person added their own personal touch to it. In result, a full born rumor.I slumped down in my seat. “I’m sorry Colin, I didn’t know.”

He shook his head, disappointed. “That’s right. You didn’t know. So from now on, do me a favor. Don’t make assumptions when you don’t have a freaking clue.” He turned away from me, glaring in the opposite direction.

This was one of those open your mouth, insert foot moments. I thought about giving him a snide remark but, quickly retracted that idea. I reached out to touch his shoulder, but pulled back as Mr. Baker walked into the room carrying a white sheet of paper. His eyes swept over the classroom briefly, a hint of ferocity in them as he handed the piece of paper to Mrs. Edwards.

My squabble with Colin completely took my mind off of yesterday’s council meeting until I saw Mr. Baker. I scowled. I could see him in my mind, walking up to each member of the council and whispering the idea of making the teens of the colony gatherers. My eyes followed him as he scurried out of the room. Then, I looked at the dry erase board as Mrs. Edwards hung the paper up in front of it.

Panic rippled through my stomach. Mrs. Edwards didn’t even make eye contact with the rest of the students. Did that paper have the names of the first two selected in the lottery? It couldn’t be. They weren’t supposed to draw names until the end of the week.

“Is that what I think it is?” Grace blurted out. I was glad Grace asked first. Even though I was pretty sure every student in the room was thinking the same thing. Mrs. Edwards couldn’t even dignify us with an answer. She only gave a slight nod, her eyes wary.

“Son of a bitch,” I gasped. The table shook as Colin stirred next to me.

Grace spun around. “Georgie!” she scolded.

Gasps echoed throughout the classroom. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have used profanity. But it in light of recent events now was as good a time as any to use it. “Grace! Those bastards couldn’t even give us a week!”

The entire room went rigid. Nobody wanted to look at that paper and see their name on it. Nobody spoke either, leaving an unsettling silence. I looked over at Colin, who still wouldn’t meet my gaze. Finally, he got up off the bench and made his way to the dry erase board. “Might as well get this over with.”Colin brushed his finger along the top of the paper. He took his time reading, going over each letter, before he backed away. He walked back to his seat, acknowledging me. “Have a look, Georgie,” he commanded, a haughty tone in his voice.

I rose slowly, taking small, shaky steps to the board. When I reached it, my knees buckled and I staggered. I caught my balance by holding on to the edge of Mrs. Edward’s desk. My stomach did a back flip as the names on the paper burned into my brain.

The first two selected in the lottery were none other than Colin Martin and Georgina Carver.

My vision was blurry and the muddy walls of the corridor spun around me as I stumbled back to my room. Half-way there, I dug my fingers into the dirt wall and exhaled slowly. Numb. I felt numb inside. My name on that paper didn’t seem real. Maybe I was dreaming. Colin stalked passed me and shouted over his shoulder. “Looks like it’s you and me, Georgie.”

“No,” I said in between breaths. But Colin was so far ahead of me he couldn’t hear me. The news didn’t seem to hit him as hard as it did me.

As I sulked back to my room an unsure feeling swept over me. Part of me was curious, anxious to see if the world above me had changed in the last two years. At the same time, anxiety set it. I was having a hard time breathing and by the time I reached my room, I was hyperventilating.

Tears stained my cheeks as I plopped down on my cot. Instantly, I spread my feet shoulder length apart, lowering my head as I tried to steady my breathing. Once I was certain I got a hold of myself, I lifted my head up as my mother walked through the door. She rushed over to me, concerned. She swept me up into an embrace. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” she cooed.