Sophie Oak: Siren Beloved

His fingers tightened on the steering wheel as he turned up Good Latimer. “Maybe I don’t like the time you’re going to do.”

A slight smile played at her lips. Her black hair was glossy in the morning light. She was so ridiculously gorgeous to him. “What do you object to, babe? Sessions with Leo?”

Julian’s verdict had been a strange version of parole with the possibility of a full pardon. Lexi was to enter into therapy sessions with Leo, and she had to be cleared by a Dom of Julian’s choice. That was the part Lucas had vocally objected to. Unfortunately, Julian had proven far more stubborn than any judge Lucas had to deal with.

He frowned. “You know I don’t care about the therapy sessions. I trust Leo. I have no fucking idea who this Master A asshole is.”

“You haven’t been talking to Dani,” Lexi replied.

Her eyes drifted closed as she relaxed back into the seat of the Lexus SUV. They had left her car behind. He’d have someone bring it out later. After last night, he wasn’t letting her out of his sight for a day or two. It didn’t matter what she thought or what Julian Lodge believed. Collar or no collar, she was his responsibility. He wasn’t willing to let that go. No matter what Jack said, he was good for her. He had to be.

“What does Dani say about this guy, and why do you have to get cleared by him? Leo, I understand. He’s a psychologist. But he’s also the Dom in residence. Why can’t he clear you on both?” Lucas asked.

The thought of Lexi in some unknown Dom’s hands terrified him. His every insecurity was bubbling to the surface and had been since Finn had gotten the call early this morning. Lucas had gotten on the first plane back to Dallas.

She didn’t open her eyes, merely talked and turned her porcelain skin toward the sun. He loved her skin. It was so pure and lovely, like the woman herself. She brought out his every protective and possessive instinct. “Supposedly he’s a badass. He’s become Leo’s little protégé, and by little, I mean really big. He’s as big as Leo, and one of the other subs said he’s covered in scars, like he was wounded in battle. They say he’s one tough son of a bitch. He’s former Army, which is probably why Leo took to him. You know those military types. Dani says Julian brought him in a couple of months back. He’s some sort of cowboy now. He has a ranch or something.”

“Then shouldn’t he be on his ranch rather than setting himself up to play with my sub?” Yes, Lexi brought out his possessiveness, and this asshole was going to bring out his need to kick some ass.

“You know all the other Doms have day jobs. Leo is the only full-time Dom. Dani says Leo is really high on this guy. He’s supposed to be hard, but fair. I’m not worried about it. I can pass whatever test this guy tries to give me.”

“You have no idea what he’s going to do to you.”

Her husky laugh went straight to his cock. Fuck . He hadn’t had a moment of sleep in forty-eight hours, but one laugh from Lexi and he was like a bull in rut.

“I can imagine. The question is what’s he going to do to you, babe?” Lexi asked.

“Nothing, if he knows what’s good for him.”

Lexi’s eyes opened now, and she turned in her seat. They were so dark blue he could drown in them. “Lucas, have you thought about the fact that maybe we should find a Dom?”

Now there was a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. Had he thought about it? Of course he had. He found slight refuge in defensiveness. “I’m not Dom enough for you? Maybe Jack’s right.”

Her hand came out, stroking across the line of his jaw. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You miss bottoming, babe. I know you do.”

He’d given it up a long time ago. He didn’t need it. He needed her. At one point he thought he could have both, but that had turned out to be a lie. Aidan had been the perfect solution to everything. He was gorgeous, and Lucas had been so very sure there was a spark between them. Aidan O’Malley had been dominant down to his bone, but he hadn’t understood the lifestyle and certainly, in the end, hadn’t wanted Lucas himself. One night. He’d had one night before it all fell apart.

It hadn’t just fallen apart for him. Guilt washed over Lucas. He’d done that to Lexi. He’d upended her whole world and caused her fiancé to leave. He owed the woman he loved everything.

“I don’t need it, Lexi. I need you. I need you so fucking much, but I can’t seem to do it for you.”

It was true. He wasn’t what Lexi needed, and maybe he should really think about that. He’d been the one to hold her while she cried, but eventually she would need more. She would need a real Dom.

“Stop this car right now, Lucas Cameron.” Lexi was sitting up straight in her seat now.

Lucas pulled over. Now he’d pissed her off, and that hadn’t been his plan. Damn it, he was fucking up again. “I’ll take you home if you want.”

“That is not what I want. I want you to look at me.”

Lucas turned in his seat and faced the only woman he’d ever really loved. She’d been his friend, his heart and soul, his whole world since the day he’d met her, but he wasn’t that for her. Her whole world had walked out the door when Aidan O’Malley left.

“I love you, Lucas Cameron.”

Lucas felt his heart almost stop. She’d never said I love you, not once. He’d waited to hear those words forever, but now he could hear the “but” somewhere in there like a little jolt of poison waiting to kill his happiness. “You know I love you, Lexi. I’ve said it every day for the past couple of years. I’ve asked you to move in with me. I’ve asked you to marry me.”

“But you won’t sleep with me.”

It was the only thing he’d withheld. It had been easier when she was in Austin. He’d known Lexi for years, been in love with her for the whole time he’d known her, but they had gone their separate ways while she finished school and he started a career. She had been ready to get married and have a happy life in Austin with her fiancé, Aidan. He’d been the one to screw that up. Yes, it had been much simpler when all he had were phone calls and texts and long instant messenger chats on the computer.

When Lexi moved to Dallas, his life had become a testament to the power of patience. She slept at his place more often than not. He took her to The Club. He’d really introduced her to the lifestyle. He’d given her more orgasms than he could count but taken none for himself because he refused to be her rebound man. He wanted more.

“Marry me and we’ll talk about it.”

She laughed. “God, you are just like your brother. Except I think he’s smarter than you.”

Jack went home every night to two subs who loved him and each other more than life itself. Jack had two gorgeous kids. Jack had a job that meant the world to him. Damn straight Jack was smarter than he was. “He got all the brains.”

She reached up to touch his hair. “Not all of them. Lucas, I did something really stupid last night, and I hurt some people I care about. I don’t want to do that anymore. I need a solution, and it’s not going to come with you compromising. You’ve done enough of that for me.”

He felt like she’d just kicked him in the stomach. This was the moment he’d been dreading for the last three years. She didn’t need him anymore. She would steep it in all kinds of bullshit about how this was for him, but she was leaving. He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He just kind of wished she would get it over with now that the moment was here.

“I love you, Lucas. I won’t stop saying it. I’ve been selfish to hold it back. Selfish and afraid. I know if I had an ounce of sense, I would take what you’re offering and run with it, but I think we would end up unhappy.”