James Moore - The Haunted Forest Tour

He doubted it, but, hey, nothing wrong with hoping.

Eddie walked as quickly as he could while still paying close attention to where he stepped. He didn’t think he could handle another encounter with one of those snakes. Actually, the way he felt at the moment, an ambitious hamster might be too much for him to handle.

And then, finally, he saw the tram up ahead. Not the one he’d been driving, but the one that had been ripped open.

He’d hoped to see an additional tram with a rescue team waiting inside, smiling and waving and bearing Starbucks, so he was disappointed by the lack of reinforcements. At the same time, he’d feared that he might see a couple of extra wrecked trams littered with corpses, so it could’ve been worse.

He reached the tracks. The tram was silent.

Okay, best-case scenario, a rescue tram was on the way at this very moment. Somewhat less than best-case scenario, the rescue tram had been ambushed before it reached this point, preventing anybody else from getting through on the tracks.

He had to assume that waiting around for help wasn’t going to get him saved, and just make his way along the tracks by foot. If reinforcements showed up, fantastic, if not, he’d just have to get out of the forest without their help.

He walked over to the wrecked tram. He didn’t expect to find any survivors, and quite frankly didn’t need anybody slowing him down, but there might be some useful stuff in there.

He stood outside the tram for a moment and listened. Nothing seemed to be stirring.

He stepped inside.

A man, seated in the second seat back, pointed a rifle at him.

Eddie put his hands in the air. “Whoa, hold on, I’m here to help.”

The man looked at him closely. The stress of the situation made everybody look older than they were, but Eddie pegged him to be in his forties or so. He had short hair, which was sticking up in the back, and a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee. He was wearing a black jacket, and though Eddie’s fashion knowledge didn’t extend past Levi’s, it looked damn expensive.

“You’re the other driver, aren’t you?” the man asked.

“Yeah.”

“We crashed into you.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have stopped.”

“Yeah, well, they weren’t perfect driving conditions.” Eddie lowered his hands.

“Get them back up!” the man said.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’ll shoot you. I swear I will.”

Eddie sighed and raised his hands in the air again. “I’m not here to hurt you. I don’t want anything from you. Okay, that’s not true, I’d kind of like the gun, but I’m just here to find something to defend myself with while I try to get out of the forest.”

“You can’t have any of this.”

“You’re just going to let me die out here?”

The man shrugged. “What’s one more?”

“What’s your name?”

“None of your business.”

“I’m Eddie. Pleased to meet you.”

“Don’t try to make friends with me,” the man said. “I’m serious. Turn around and leave this tram, or I’ll kill you.”

“Listen,” said Eddie. “I understand that none of us are having a very good day. I’m not here to cramp your style or steal your seat. I’d just like a weapon.”

“Get one from someplace else.”

“Your best chance of survival is if I get out of here. If another tram was coming, it would be here by now. So help ain’t on the way, buddy. If I can get out of the forest, I can tell the cops, military, coast guard, and everybody else exactly where to find you and the other survivors.”

“There are other survivors?”

“Yeah. Not many, but a few.”

“Where are they?”

“At a water reclamation plant. And one guy got carried off by a giant bird, but he’s probably dead.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fascinating. So why not be a pal and let me borrow a gun? It doesn’t have to be the one you’ve got pointed at me.”

The man shook his head. “Get out.”

“You know you’re committing suicide, right?”

“Get out!”

“Whatever.” Eddie turned and stepped out of the tram. Great. Just when things could work out in his favor, he had to meet some whacko with a—

Lots of creatures were staring at him.

Dozens of them, no two of the same species. Things with fangs, things with claws, things with spikes, things with horns, and even a fuckin’ thing with a giant mouth on its stomach.

Where the hell had they all come from so quickly? Even when the trams first collided, all of the creatures hadn’t arrived this fast.

There was something very, very wrong here.

Moving as one, the creatures rushed forward.

“How do you know my name?” Christopher asked.

The scaly blue creature smiled. “It’s written on your underwear.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding.”

“What?”

“Let me introduce myself before you get too confused to speak properly.” The creature let go of Christopher’s neck and shook his hand. “My true name is very long, difficult to pronounce, and rhymes with one of my native language synonyms for ‘penis,’ so I prefer not to use it. Instead, you can call me Pestilence. That’s a suitably disturbing name, isn’t it?”

Christopher just stared at the creature.

“If you continue to look at me that way, I shall be forced to pluck out your eyeballs and encourage you to eat them,” said Pestilence. “I won’t cook them or disguise the flavor with any spices or sauces to make it more palatable. It will be two raw eyeballs, straight up, and you won’t enjoy it. Do you understand?”

Christopher nodded.

“Please do more than nod.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Good. So, we’ve now established that you’re Christopher and I’m Pestilence. We should also establish that you’re a weak, puny human, and I am an extremely powerful demon. Do I look powerful to you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re too kind. Flattery will get you everywhere.” Pestilence winked at him. “It may have crossed your mind to wonder why you’re standing on a patch of ice in the middle of a hot forest. Then again, it may not have. It’s sometimes difficult for me to understand the human mind, despite its simplicity. So, were you wondering about the ice?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You’re not just saying that so I think you’re more inquisitive than you really are, are you?”

“Are you going to kill me?” asked Christopher.

“At some point, I suspect that your death is a strong possibility,” said Pestilence with a shrug. “In the meantime, I’m just in the mood for some scintillating conversation. So be scintillating. If you’re not scintillating, I’ll kill you sooner rather than later, and then you’ll be dead and nobody will converse with you ever again.”

Christopher had no idea what to make of this demon. His best theory was that the last time he slipped on the ice, he’d cracked his head and was now seeing a very realistic, very demented hallucination. One realistic enough that his neck still felt frostbitten from where the demon had clutched it.

“So… what’s with the ice?” he forced himself to ask.

“I despise hot weather,” said Pestilence. “These scales really soak up the sun, and once it hits seventy, eighty degrees, I’m dying. You can tell by my blue color that I was built for colder climates. And, hey, I may not be all-powerful, but I’m powerful enough to bring along some ice, so there you go. I hope it’s not too cold for you. Is it too cold for you? I could procure a sweater.”

“No, I’m, uh, fine.”

“Good. We’re both comfy, then. So how has your tour been so far? Worth the money? See anything interesting?”