Michael Bray - Feed

‘Did you have something in mind? To get us off this rock, I mean. ‘

Liam looked out over the water, rocking on his haunches. ‘No. Not for that. Not yet. We’re too weak for that now.’

‘You just said you thought we had a chance.’

‘We do.’ Liam looked at him then, half his face cast in gold by the sun. ‘Way I see it, we need to get our strength before we try to escape. To do that, we need energy. That means food.’

There was nothing more he needed to say. A quick flick of the eyes towards his dead father said more than any words could. Tyler felt the shriveled up thing that was now his stomach tighten even more.

‘You can’t be serious. We’ve discussed this. We’re not that desperate. Not yet. ‘

‘I think we are. I’m not the only one who feels it.’

‘Feels what?’

‘The strength and energy ebb away by the hour. How long do you think we can go on like this? A day? A week? We need to do something now before it’s too late if we intend to get off this island and passed that shark.’

‘I can’t do that. I won’t do that. You’re talking about cannibalism.’

Liam shook his head. ‘No. I’m talking about survival. It’s different.’

‘That’s your father, not a slab of meat. Jesus, can you hear yourself?’

‘You don’t know him. This is what he would have wanted. He’d want us to live.’

‘He didn’t seem too sure on the idea when you first brought it up. If I remember, he looked as disgusted as I feel.’

‘He’d understand,’ Liam snapped. He was twitching and looked almost animalistic as he crouched there. ‘Besides, I’m not asking for your permission.’

‘I can’t stop you. Just don’t expect me to do it. Are things really so desperate you feel this is the only option? We’re not in that place yet where we need to do this.’

Liam laughed, a sharp sound that had no place in such a desolate place under such horrific circumstances. ‘You think I don’t know that? You think I want to do this? I don’t have a choice.’

‘There’s always a choice. Look, I know you and I haven’t gotten along during this trip. But your father asked me to come, and I’d like to think as the elder man here, you might listen to me when I tell you this isn’t something you want to do. It’s a mistake. It’s something you will have to live with for the rest of your life if you do it. Your father told me about your medication, and how not having it can make you think differently.’

‘What the hell do you know about it? It’s not your business. You don’t know anything about me.’

‘I know I want to help you. We need to stick together if we want to get out of here. The odds are already stacked against us.’

‘You say it like there is another choice. You think I want to do this?’

‘Then don’t. We’ll figure out a different way. This isn’t something you want to have to live with if you do it.’

Liam shook his head. ‘We’ll die if I don’t. It won’t matter either way.’

‘But what if we live? What if we figure this out or someone rescues us? What then? How will you handle it back home when it’s all you can think about? All you can… Taste. It will haunt you forever.’ Tyler knew well enough about need. His booze addiction which had been repressed by the need to survive, had been revived by the rain, and once it had tasted water, it now wanted something a little stronger and was thrashing around his gut again. He composed himself and continued. ‘I’m just trying to save you from that kind of trauma. I’m trying to help you here. ‘

Liam stared at him, then looked at his father. ‘I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. My mind seems like it belongs to someone else.’

Tyler shuffled closer, trying to ignore the fear, the heat and the thirst. Most of all, he was trying to ignore the images of steak, rare and bloody, that were flashing up in his mind. ‘I can help you. We can help each other. This isn’t the end. We still might have a chance to get off this island. If you do this, if you… if you do what you were talking about, then it’s over. You’ll have crossed a line you can never come back from.’

‘I don’t want this. That’s the part you don’t seem to understand. You keep looking at me like I’m a monster. I just… I’m so hungry. You must be, too.’

‘Of course I am. But this isn’t the answer. Please just think about it. Take some time.’

‘What else do we have but time,’ Liam muttered. Tyler had heard that before. He thought it might have been a quote from a TV show, perhaps an old episode of The Twilight Zone, but he couldn’t be sure.

‘Exactly. No rush to take action yet. We have all the time in the world. You’ve just lost your father. With the shock and the weakness… It’s no surprise things seem a little off. Please, just don’t rush into anything you’ll regret.’

‘I think you’re right. I need to take some time to think.’

‘Good. You do that. Take some time.’

Tyler watched as Liam stood and walked out of sight around the back of their rock prison. It was only then he could relax. He leaned against the hot stone and stared at the body of Nash. For him at least, it was over. Tyler thought maybe he was the lucky one.

Time enough at last .

That had been the episode of The Twilight Zone he couldn’t recall. He remembered it featured Burgess Meredith as the last man on earth after some kind of apocalyptic event. All poor Burgess had wanted was to be left alone to read in peace, something granted to him by said apocalypse and something he was happy about until the ultimate twist in the story resulting in the character played by Burgess breaking his reading glasses. With no optician available, the bittersweet irony dawned on him and left the viewer with a sour note as they wondered how poor Burgess would survive in the devastation without his ability to read (or see). Tyler was so set on remembering every aspect of the episode if only because it took his mind off the problem at hand.

His initial thought had been to float Nash’s body out to sea, in doing so removing temptation from Liam and stopping him from making a savage and life changing decision. The first reason he decided against it was the Megalodon. He didn’t want to bait the water and remind it that they were there. Although it had been a couple of days since they last saw it’s fin slicing through the waters on the edge of the shallows, he suspected it was still out there, just waiting to see if they would venture back into its territory. The other reason, and one that was much more disturbing as to why he was unable to go through with it, was the sick idea that Liam was right and their only chance of survival was to eat some of Nash’s remains. The idea terrified him but still didn’t rid his mind of those images of steak and mushrooms cut with thick cut fries on the side. An explosion of saliva filled his mouth and he swallowed it, with some effort, back down.

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He…

Did Burgess own a bookstore?

Was that part of the irony of the long ago watched Twilight Zone episode?

He couldn’t have been too old when he saw it. Maybe early teens. Why did it stick in his mind? Perhaps because he, too, was stuck and alone in a world that for all intents and purposes was empty. Nash was the equivalent of the reading glasses, and Tyler couldn’t decide if he should break them or make sure he took extra care of them.

Besides. He was hungry. Good sense went out of the window when it came down to survival. Could he bring himself to eat human flesh? To eat it raw? He didn’t think so. He wasn’t in that place yet mentally. But the idea was becoming less and less of a taboo with each passing moment. Maybe Liam was right. Maybe the rules that had always governed the world went out of the window when it came down to the basics of survival. He stared at Nash’s body and was already struggling to identify it as a human. It was a shell, meat and bones. Flesh.