Tim Meyer - Less Than Human

Then came the decision to leave New Jersey and take Jake to the state his mother grew up in: Pennsylvania. The decision came as quite a shock to Ben, considering he was told his opinion didn’t matter, that he had no say in the future whereabouts of his only child. Enraged, he argued with Melissa, even threatened to take her to court, but in the end he gave up fighting and Melissa got her way. Just like she always did. A kid needs his father, his mother’s voice chirped inside his head. She pushed for Ben to get a lawyer, but he declined. It was only going to make things worse for Jake, and the kid had been screwed up enough over their inability to stay cordial. So, for the sake of Jake, Ben signed the necessary paperwork and let him go, a decision he’d always second guess.

A kid needs his father.

Ben had no plans of being an absentee father. He would see Jake as much as he could, which the way he figured it, would be at least one weekend a month, sometimes two. The town they moved to was just outside of Pittsburgh, about a five-hour drive from Red River. It wasn’t convenient, but they’d make it work. Unless, Melissa wanted to be a bitch about it. And why not? She had been about everything else.

“It’s almost been a year,” she said. “It’s time to get over it, Benjamin.”

Benjamin. He hated that name. And she knew it. That’s all she called him since their separation.

“I think it’s time we make it official.”

Ben had been forced to call her the day his illness began. He was scheduled to drive to Pittsburgh the following day, but had to postpone his departure due to the unusually high fever and lack of energy. He knew Melissa wouldn’t give half a shit whether he drove out or not, but he was concerned how Jake would take the news. The last time Ben saw him was back in March. He had plans to see him a few times since, but Melissa unexpectedly canceled them.

Too long, his mother’s voice echoed in his mind. Way too long. He agreed with Mama Ackerman, but sadly, there was nothing that could be done about it.

“I know,” Ben said. “Look, I know I’ve been holding off as long as possible—”

“Benjamin, if this is another feeble attempt to persuade me to come back to New Jersey, then you can forget it.” Ben had held off signing any legal documents in case Melissa changed her mind and decided the things that came between them could be worked out, and that maybe they could reignite the flame that had kindled so many years ago. In reality, that wasn’t going to happen. “I need you to sign the papers… this is getting to be fucking ridiculous.”

“Okay, so mail me the papers and I’ll sign them.”

“I did mail you the papers. Six fucking months ago. You said ‘don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it.’ Well, Benjamin, my lawyer hasn’t heard a peep from you since, so what the hell is going on with you?”

He could hear the hostility in her voice.

“Okay, okay. Look, I’m not feeling too well. I think I’m coming down with something. As soon as I start feeling better, I’m driving out to see you. I promise. We’ll get everything squared away and we’ll be done with it.” Ben took a deep a breath, then exhaled. “Fine. I lost them. I’ve had a lot of shit on my plate, Mel. Between work and my father…” He stopped. His father hadn’t been well. Not at all. The doctors claimed there was nothing that could be done for him. The bottom of his hourglass was almost full. (Their words). Ben usually made sure to visit him at least once a week, sometimes twice, depending how much Mama Ackerman begged him.

“I’m really sorry about your dad, I really am.” Finally, a little compassion. He knew it wouldn’t last long. “But this bullshit has gone on long enough. It needs to end soon.”

Ben agreed, only to spare himself the grief of listening to her bitch for another half hour or so. Then, he asked to speak with Jake. There was another moment of silence and Ben knew she was contemplating saying no. She had threatened him in the past, when Ben had been more combative about signing the divorce papers. But today, he was calm. Maybe if he had more strength he would have fought her, asked her to reconsider her life-altering decision, but he had been down that dead end before. Many times. And yet, he still clung to hope, the idea that one day they’d be a family again.

“Fine,” she said. She yelled their son’s name so loudly that Ben had to hold the phone away from his ear. Ben heard pitter-patter across the hardwood floor and a second later, he heard heavy breathing in his ear. It made him smile. His heart pumped aggressively.

“Hey, Dad!” Jake practically yelled.

“Hey, Jakester. How’s it going?”

“Eh, okay. I missed the last week of school. Wasn’t feeling too hot.”

“That stinks. You know, I’m not feeling too well myself. I think I have a fever.”

“That’s what I had!” Jake almost screamed. “The doctor said it’s real weird to get sick like that in June, but lots of people are getting it. He doesn’t know why.”

“That’s weird…”

“Anyway, have you seen the news?” he asked excitedly.

“No, I haven’t really watched any TV today. Why? What happened?”

“Oh, man. Crazy stuff is happening all over the place.”

“Really? Like what?” The first thought that popped into Ben’s head was another natural disaster. A hurricane, a tornado, or maybe even a tsunami. Something catastrophic that claimed the lives of a few hundred people. Then his mind went somewhere darker. Terrorism .

“Some guy went crazy on a bus in California. The police are saying he was eating people.”

“What?” Ben asked, almost not believing it. He turned on the television, flipping to the first news channel he could find. Sure enough, they were covering a story close to what Jake had described. Only, this event took place inside a diner in Boston. A man stumbled into the joint looking for something a little more exotic than lemon meringue pie. He gnawed on a man’s ear for several moments before some brave patrons attempted to subdue him. They succeeded, but not without casualties.

Ben flipped the channel to a different news station—CNN. Same story, different city.

People were going mad.

“David thinks it’s drugs. Bath salts or something. Dad, what are bath salts?” Jake asked innocently.

“They’re something you put in the water when you take a bath. It’s supposed to relax you. Jake, who is David? ” Ben had never heard the name mentioned before.

“Mom’s new friend. He’s over like all the time. He’s really cool!” Fucking fantastic, Ben thought. Suddenly, he wondered if David was the first guy to be with his ex since her big move. Second? Third? Thinking about it made him nauseas. “He’s taking me to a Pirates’ game next week.”

“Super,” Ben said, trying not to sound bitter.

“Don’t worry, Dad. It’s not like he’s her boyfriend or anything.”

Oh, Jesus. “I know, Jakester. And you know what? Even if he was, it wouldn’t matter. Your mom and I, we aren’t together anymore. Remember?”

There was a pause. “I know…” There was no controlling the sadness in his voice. “I just… I thought…”

“We went through this, Jake. I thought we had an understanding.”

“We do… I just…”

Hope was the word his son was looking for. It was, after all, the same word that bounced around his mind daily.

“Look, Jake. I’m coming out to see you as soon as I’m better. I’m going to stay at a hotel near your Mom’s and we’re going hang out everyday, I promise. Sound good?”

“Yes…”