Дэвид Муди - Hater

‘I won’t,’ I interrupt. ‘I forgot myself. I didn’t think.’

I still don’t know if she believes me. She’s looking at me out of the corner of her eye and it’s like she’s waiting for me to attack her. I’d never hurt her. I’m relieved when she moves back round to the box of food and continues unpacking it. Every couple of seconds she looks up. Every time I move I see her catch her breath and stop.

‘So what happened out there?’ she asks, finally composed enough to be able to talk to me again. I don’t know where to start. Between us we try and feed the kids while I explain about the queues at the supermarket and what I saw at O’Shea’s. I tell her about the looting and about the girl attacking the woman and… and I realise again just how bad things have suddenly got.

Ellis is snapping at my heels. She’s oblivious to the fact that anything’s wrong. That’s good, I decide. I’m glad. Now that she has her food she’s nagging at me to let her watch a DVD. I follow her into the living room. She fetches the film she wants from the cupboard and brings it over. I switch on the TV but stop before I put the DVD in the machine.

‘I turned that off about an hour ago,’ Liz says. ‘Couldn’t stand watching any more of it. They keep showing the same thing again and again and again.’

I sit cross-legged in front of the television and stare at the pictures that flash in front of me. Christ, things are really bad. I’ve seen a lot of bizarre stuff over the last few days but what I’m watching now scares the hell out of me. Now I fully realise how dire and serious the situation has quickly become. The news has gone. There are no more reports and no more presenters. All we’re left with is a continually repeated public information film. My stomach is churning with nerves again.

‘Stay in your homes,’ a deep and reassuring male voice announces over stock footage and a series of simplistic graphic images, back at the beginning of the loop again. ‘Stay with your family. Stay away from people you don’t know…’

I look up at Lizzie and she looks back at me and shrugs her shoulders.

‘It’s all just common-sense stuff. Nothing we haven’t already heard.’

‘Stay calm and don’t panic.’

‘What?’ I protest. ‘Stay calm and don’t panic? Bloody hell, have they seen what’s happening out there?’

‘It gets better,’ she says sarcastically. ‘Listen to the next bit.’

‘The authorities are working to bring the situation under control. Your assistance and cooperation is required to make sure this happens quickly and with as little disturbance as possible. Temporary controls and regulations are necessary to make this happen. Firstly, if you have to leave your home, you must carry some form of identification with you at all times. Secondly, with immediate effect an ongoing night-time curfew is in place. You may not travel between dusk and dawn. Anyone found on the streets after dark will be dealt with appropriately…’

Dealt with appropriately? Christ, what’s that supposed to mean? Are they going to start locking people up for being out at night?

‘Ensure that your home is secure. Prepare a safe room for you and your family to stay in. Ensure that the door to the safe room and all other access points can be secured and locked from the inside.’

‘What the hell is this?’ I say under my breath.

‘Can you put my film on now please, Daddy?’ Ellis moans impatiently.

‘If any of the people you are with should begin to act aggressively or out of character, you must isolate yourselves from them immediately. Lock yourself and the rest of the people with you in your safe room. Remove the affected person from your property if it is safe to do so without putting yourself at risk. Remember that this person may well be a family member, a loved one or a close friend. They will be unable to control their actions and emotions. They will be violent and will show no remorse or understanding. It is vital that you protect yourself and those remaining with you.’

‘Can you see why I turned it off? Lizzie asks. ‘This kind of thing is just making it worse.’

‘I can’t believe this…’ I stammer, lost for words. ‘I just can’t believe this…’

‘Think they know what’s going on now?’

‘I’m sure they do,’ I answer. ‘They must have worked it out if they’re showing something like this. Someone must know what’s happening, and that makes things even worse, doesn’t it?’

‘Does it? Why?’

I shrug my shoulders.

‘Because things must be pretty well fucked if they’re still not telling us anything. It sounds to me like they’re trying to lock everybody down just to try and keep things under control, and what I’ve seen this morning makes me think that maybe things aren’t under control right now.’

Lizzie frowns at me for swearing in front of Ellis. I turn back to the screen.

‘…first indication will be a sudden fit of rage and anger,’ the disturbingly unemotional voice on the TV continues. ‘This rage will typically be directed at one person in particular. Remember that those affected may appear calm again once the initial outburst of anger and violence has passed. Continue to keep your distance. Regardless of who they are or what they say, these people are not in control of their actions. They will continue to pose a threat to you and your family…’

Lizzie strides past me and snatches Ellis’ DVD from my hands. She shoves it into the machine and it starts to play.

‘That’s enough,’ she snaps.

‘I was watching that…’

‘Will you go and get Dad?’

My heart sinks. I don’t want to leave the flat again but I know I don’t have any choice.

‘When do you want me to…?’ I begin before she interrupts.

‘Get him now,’ she answers, nervously chewing her fingernails. ‘If you won’t go and get him I will.’

The thought of Lizzie being alone out there is worse than the thought of going out myself. I have to do it.

22

The lobby is silent. I shut the door to the flat behind me, lock it and cautiously look around. I’ve told Liz to make a safe room like they said on TV and then to shut herself and the kids in it. The living room is the obvious place. She’s closed the curtains and they’ve turned the TV down low. From outside it looks like no-one’s in.

I open the front door and cringe as the usual loud creaking sound echoes around the insides of the empty building.

‘Is anyone there?’ a voice hisses from the darkness upstairs. I freeze and try not to panic. What do I do? I want to keep moving and pretend I didn’t hear anything but I can’t. My family is in this building and I can’t leave them knowing that someone else is in here with them. It could be anyone. They could be waiting for me to leave so they can get to Lizzie and the kids. But why would they have shouted out like that? I let the door go and it creaks again as it swings shut. I take a few slow steps back into the shadows and, for a second, I think about going back into the flat. I know that’s not going to achieve anything. I have to go out and get Harry at some point.

‘Who’s there?’ I hiss back, cursing myself for my stupidity. I’m acting like a character in a bad horror movie. You’re supposed to run away from the monster, I tell myself, not move towards it.

‘Up here,’ the voice answers. I look up towards the top of the staircase and the first floor landing. There’s a face staring back at me from between the metal struts of the banister. It’s one of the men from the flat on the top floor. I don’t know whether it’s Gary or Chris. I start to cautiously climb the stairs. I’m almost on the landing when the steps beneath my feet become tacky. The floor’s covered in sticky puddles of blood. The man from the flat is lying on the ground in front of me, clutching his chest. He grunts and rolls over onto his back. His jeans and T-shirt are soaked through with blood. He turns his head to one side and manages to acknowledge me. He relaxes, relieved that someone’s finally with him I suppose. He’s in a real mess and I don’t know where to start. Is there anything I can do for him or am I too late?