Шарлин Харрис - From Dead To Worse

As I drove into town, I wondered if we could get a real cat. After all, we had the litter box and the cat food. I'd ask Amelia and Octavia in a couple of days. That would surely give them time to stop being so antsy about Bob's cat-dom.

Alcide Herveaux was sitting at the bar talking with Sam when I came into the main room ready for work. Odd, him turning up again. I stopped for a second, and then made my feet move again. I managed a nod, and waved to Holly to tell her I was taking over. She held up a finger, indicating she was taking care of one customer's bill, and then she'd be out of there. I got a hello from one woman and a howdy from another man, and I felt instantly comfortable. This was my place, my home away from home.

Jasper Voss wanted another rum and Coke, Catfish wanted a pitcher of beer for himself and his wife and another couple, and one of our alcoholics, Jane Bodehouse, was ready to eat something. She said she didn't care what it was, so I got her the chicken tender basket. Getting Jane to eat at all was a real problem, and I hoped she'd down at least half of the basket. Jane was sitting at the other end of the bar from Alcide, and Sam jerked his head sideways to indicate I should join them. I turned Jane's order in and then I reluctantly went over to them. I leaned on the end of the bar.

"Sookie," Alcide said, nodding to me. "I came to say thank you to Sam."

"Good," I said bluntly.

Alcide nodded, not meeting my eyes.

After a moment the new packleader said, "Now no one will dare to try to encroach. If Priscilla hadn't attacked at the moment she picked, with us all together and aware of the danger we faced as a group, she could have kept us divided and kept picking us off until we'd killed each other."

"So she went crazy and you got lucky," I said.

"We came together because of your talent," Alcide said. "And you'll always be a friend of the pack. So is Sam. Ask us to do a service for you, any time, any place, and we'll be there." He nodded to Sam, put some money on the bar, and left.

Sam said, "Nice to have a favor stashed in the bank, huh?"

I had to smile back. "Yeah, that's a good feeling." In fact, I felt full of good cheer all of a sudden. When I looked at the door, I found out why. Eric was coming in, with Pam beside him. They sat at one of my tables, and I went over, consumed with curiosity. Also exasperation. Couldn't they stay away?

They both ordered TrueBlood, and after I served Jane Bodehouse her chicken basket and Sam warmed up the bottles, I was headed back to their table. Their presence wouldn't have rocked any boats if Arlene and her buddies hadn't been in the bar that night.

They were sneering together in an unmistakable way as I put the bottles in front of Eric and Pam, and I had a hard time maintaining my waitress calm as I asked the two if they wanted mugs with that.

"The bottle will be fine," Eric said. "I may need it to smash some skulls."

If I had been feeling Eric's good cheer, Eric was feeling my anxiety.

"No, no, no," I said almost in a whisper. I knew they could hear me. "Let's have peace. We've had enough war and killing."

"Yes," Pam agreed. "We can save the killing for later."

"I'm happy to see both of you, but I'm having a busy evening," I said. "Are you-all just out barhopping to get new ideas for Fangtasia, or can I do something for you?"

"We can do something for you," Pam said. She smiled at the two guys in the Fellowship of the Sun T-shirts, and since she was a wee bit angry, her fangs were showing. I hoped the sight would subdue them, but since they were assholes without a lick of sense, it inflamed their zeal. Pam downed the blood and licked her lips.

"Pam," I said between my teeth. "For goodness' sake, stop making it worse."

Pam gave me a flirty smile, simply so she'd hit all the buttons.

Eric said, "Pam," and immediately all the provocation disappeared, though Pam looked a little disappointed. But she sat up straighter, put her hands in her lap, and crossed her legs at the ankle. No one could have looked more innocent or demure.

"Thank you," Eric said. "Dear one—that's you, Sookie— you so impressed Felipe de Castro that he has given us permission to offer you our formal protection. This is a decision only made by the king, you understand, and it's a binding contract. You rendered him such service that he felt this was the only way to repay you."

"So, this is a big deal?"

"Yes, my lover, it is a very big deal. That means when you call us for help, we are obliged to come and risk our lives for yours. This is not a promise vampires make very often, since we grow more and more jealous of our lives the longer we live. You'd think it would be the other way around."

"Every now and then you'll find someone who wants to meet the sun after a long life," Pam said, as if she wanted to set the record straight.

"Yes," Eric said, frowning. "Every now and then. But he offers you a real honor, Sookie."

"I'm real obliged to you for bringing the news, Eric, Pam."

"Of course, I'd hoped your beautiful roommate would come in," Pam said. She leered at me. So maybe her hanging around Amelia hadn't been entirely Eric's idea.

I laughed out loud. "Well, she's got a lot to think about tonight," I said.

I'd been thinking so hard about the vampire protection that I hadn't noticed the approach of the shorter of the FotS adherants. Now he pushed past me in such a way that he rammed my shoulder, deliberately knocking me to the side. I staggered before I managed to regain my balance. Not everyone noticed, but a few of the bar patrons did. Sam had started around the bar and Eric was already on his feet when I turned and brought my tray down on the asshole's head with all the strength I could muster.

He did a little bit of staggering himself.

Those that had noticed the bit of aggravation began applauding. "Good for you, Sookie," Catfish called. "Hey, jerkoff, leave the waitresses alone."

Arlene was flushed and angry, and she almost exploded then and there. Sam stepped up to her and murmured something in her ear. She flushed even redder and glared at him, but she kept her mouth shut. The taller FotS guy came to his pal's aid and they left the bar. Neither of them spoke (I wasn't sure Shorty could speak), but they might as well have had "You haven't seen the last of us" tattooed on their foreheads.

I could see where the vampires' protection and my friend of the pack status might come in handy.

Eric and Pam finished their drinks and sat long enough to prove they weren't skedaddling because they felt unwelcome and weren't leaving in pursuit of the Fellowship fans. Eric tipped me a twenty and blew me a kiss as he went out the door—so did Pam—earning me an extra-special glare from my former BFF Arlene.

I worked too hard the rest of the night to think about any of the interesting things that had happened that day. After the patrons all left, even Jane Bodehouse (her son came to get her), we put out the Halloween decorations. Sam had gotten a little pumpkin for each table and painted a face on each one. I was filled with admiration, because the faces were really clever, and some of them looked like bar patrons. In fact, one looked a lot like my dear brother.

"I had no idea you could do this," I said, and he looked pleased.

"It was fun," he said, and hung a long strand of fall leaves— of course, they were actually made of cloth—around the bar mirror and among some of the bottles. I tacked up a life-size cardboard skeleton with little rivets at the joints so it could be positioned. I arranged this one so it was clearly dancing. We couldn't have any depressing skeletons at the bar. We had to have happy ones.

Even Arlene unbent a little because this was something different and fun to do, though we had to stay a bit later to do it.