Richelle Mead - Succubus Dreams

I also found myself recalling Andrew again, that annoyingly good priest who'd caused me so many headaches. I hadn't thought much about his story since last week, but as my body mindlessly completed chores, the images began replaying in my mind.

Despite my best efforts, he'd remained a bastion of purity and willpower. While frustrating, it nonetheless continued to make the game fun. And although I didn't appreciate it as much back then as I did now, I sort of took pleasure in just hanging around him. He was good company, and he came to mean more to me than just a sexual conquest. It was obvious he cared about me too.

It would figure that things went bad between us on a beautiful, sunny day. I remembered it distinctly. I had wandered over to the church he ministered out of and sat with him in the vegetable garden. I stayed clear of the dirt, conscious of the yellow silk dress my bishop had just had made for me. Andrew, less concerned, worked on his knees, unhesitatingly digging in—literally—and cultivating the church's small crop.

"Don't you have other people who could do this for you?"

Squinting up at me in the bright light, he smiled. "Nothing compares to the satisfaction of doing something yourself."

"If you say so."

He returned to his work, and I continued to sit quietly, watching him and the lazy vista of that golden afternoon. Not far away, the sounds of daily hustle and bustle carried over. I liked this town—it was a nice break from the large, busy cities I'd spent most of my succubus time in. Eventually, though, I knew I'd grow restless and move onto some place with a little more excitement.

I turned back to Andrew. "Thomas Brewer just got back from Cadwell. He says they're all getting sick there."

Andrew nodded. "People are getting sick everywhere. There have been outbreaks in a lot of the western towns."

"Are you worried?"

He shrugged. "What comes will come. None of us can change God's will."

I grimaced. I'd heard about this illness, what later generations would call the Black Death. The rapid onset. The blackened skin. The swollen lumps. Even if it couldn't technically hurt me, I didn't want to see it spread here.

"I don't think God can be as merciful as you say in mass if He's inflicting something like that on his people."

"It's a test, Cecily. God is always testing us. It makes us stronger."

"Or dead."

He didn't respond.

"What will you do if it comes?" I pushed. "Geoffrey says he'll leave. Will you go with him?"

His dark eyebrows rose in surprise, like I'd asked if the sun would take tomorrow off. "Of course not. I mean, as bishop, I'm sure Geoffrey must…do what is necessary to continue fulfilling his duties, but me? I serve the people. I will continue to serve the people. If they're sick, I'll tend them."

My sarcasm gave way to shock, and I leapt to my feet, striding toward him. "You can't do that! Haven't you heard about this? People don't come back from it. The only thing to do is get out and let it run its course."

It was true. Call it cruel, but as I'd told Liam on our post-auction date, that was the way the world had dealt with epidemics for a lot of human history. Certainly, some people cared and ministered unto others, but when disease grew really terrible, with no clear answer in sight, ignorance and fear reigned supreme. Most people of that era saw the simplest solution as putting as much distance as possible between them and the illness.

Andrew stood up as well, wearing an expression so annoyingly wise and serene as he faced me. "If that's what you must do, then you must do it. My place is here."

I didn't even have seduction on my mind when I reached out and grabbed his hands. He flinched with surprise but didn't let go.

"It's stupid," I told him earnestly. "You can't stop it. You'll die, and I—I can't watch that."

"Then go. Go with Geoffrey. Or go…out to the convent. It's isolated. You'd be safe there."

I scowled. "Not that again."

"I just want what's best for you, that's all." One of his hands reached up and cupped my chin. "I don't want to see you suffer either."

It occurred to me then how close we stood. The heat building between our bodies rivaled that of the sunshine pounding down on us from above. Andrew, realizing this too, started and tried to pull away. I held on to his hand, anger flaring up in my chest.

"So that's how you'll let it end then? You spend your whole life living in poverty and chastity, only to die in a pile of stinking corpses with oozing sores and rotting skin?"

"If that's what God—"

"Stop it," I said, leaning forward. "Just stop it. Don't you get it? God doesn't care. He's not even paying attention."

"Cecily—"

I didn't let him finish. Instead, I pressed my mouth against his mouth, molding my body to his. I don't know if he'd ever kissed anyone else before, but if not, he was a quick study. He didn't break from me. In fact I would have sworn there was an eagerness to his lips as they explored mine, willingly letting my tongue stroke and dance with his.

And oh, God help me, he was so very good and noble that I tasted a sunburst of energy just from that kiss alone. It poured into me like honey, glorious and sweet.

And surprisingly, it was me who finally broke the kiss, though I still stayed pressed against his body, my arms encircling him.

"Don't you see how stupid it is?" I whispered, our lips so close we shared each other's breath. "Are you going to die without having lived? Without having tasted everything that's out there? Are you really just going to rush into death like that?"

His eyes weighed me, his own hands resting on my waist. "I don't need fleshly pleasures to complete my life."

"You're lying," I told him. "You want to."

"Wanting and needing are two different things." He stepped away from me, and I suddenly felt incomplete without his body against mine. I had a fleeting flash of some connection bigger than both of us, and then it was gone. "A long life means nothing if it's empty and has no purpose. Better to live a short one filled with the things that are important to you."

"You're a fool," I snapped. "I'm not going to stay and watch you die."

"Then go."

And I did.

The next day was only a partial shift at work for me, but when I saw how busy things were, I suspected I'd have a hard time dragging myself away. Seth wasn't working in the café, but I found a note on my desk. He'd apparently already been there earlier.

Thetis—

Have some errands to run, but I'd like to see you later. I miss you and don't like how we left things. Come on over later when you get the chance. I'll be home all night.

Love,

Seth

I had some things of my own to take care of, and after reading his note, I suddenly wanted them done as soon as possible so that I could go see him. As I was about to leave, Maddie caught a hold of me and covertly led me into the history books. To my astonishment, she pushed down her shirt collar, baring her shoulder.

"Whoa," I joked. "Don't you think things are moving kind of fast?"

"Look," she whispered, pointing at the lacy bra strap that had been revealed. "It's red."

"That it is," I agreed, still a little puzzled.

"It's number one."

"What?"

"My three adventurous things. I bought a red bra."

I stared in astonishment. "I thought…I thought you said my idea was ridiculous?"

She averted her eyes. "I thought it was…but then, well…I heard about Seth. What happened to him. You were there, right?"

My favorite topic. "Yeah, I was there."

"Didn't it freak you out? I mean…right there in front of you: life and death."

"Yeah. Kind of."

Shaking her head, she looked back up at me. "Hearing what happened to him just kind of shook me up. I told you it wasn't that easy to be adventurous, but suddenly I decided that maybe it was. I just had to take control."