Cate Tiernan - Black Magick

I was silent, my eyes locked on his, seeing in their reflection all my dreams exploding, all my hopes for our future, all shattering like glass.

"The only powers she had were reflections coming from you," he said, the barest trace of disdain in his voice. "Once I realized you were the one, Bree was just… unimportant."

"Realized I was the one what?" My voice sounded tight, raspy, and I coughed and spoke again. "The one Woodbane around? The Woodbane princess of Belwicket?" I pushed him away. "Why do you keep lying to me?" I cried in anguish. "Why can't you just tell me who you are and what you want?" I was practically screaming, and Cal winced and held up his hands.

"You don't love me," I accused him, still pathetically hoping he would prove me wrong. "I could be anyone, young or old, pretty or ugly, smart or stupid, as long as I was Woodbane."

Cal flinched and shook his head. "That isn't true, Morgan," he said, a note of desperation in his voice. "That isn't true at all."

"Then what is true?" I asked. "Is anything you've told me true?"

"Yes!" he said strongly, raising his head. "It's true that I love you!"

I managed a credible snort.

"Morgan," he began, then stopped, looking at the ground. His hands on his hips, he went on. "This is the truth. You're right. I was supposed to find a Woodbane, and I did."

I almost gasped with pain.

"I was supposed to get close to her, and I did."

How could I still be standing, I wondered in a daze.

"I was supposed to make her love me," he said quietly. "And I did."

Oh, Goddess, oh, Goddess, oh, Goddess.

He raised his head and looked at me, my eyes huge and horrified.

"And you were the Woodbane, and you didn't even know it And then you turned out to be from the Belwicket line, and it was like we'd hit gold. You were the one."

Oh, Goddess, help me. Help me, please, I beg you.

"So I got close to you and made you love me, right?"

I had no answer. My throat was closed.

Cal gave a laugh laced with bitterness. "The thing is," he said, "no one said I had to love you back. No one expected me to, including me. But I do, Morgan. No one said I had to fall for you, but I did. No one said I had to desire you, enjoy your company, admire you, take pride in your strength, but I do, dammit! I do." His voice had been rising, and he stepped closer to me. "Morgan, however it started, it isn't like that now. I feel like I've always loved you, always known you, always wanted a future with you." He put his hand on my shoulder, gently kneading and squeezing, and I tried to back pp. "You're my muirn beatha dan," he said softly. "I love you. I want you. I want us to be together."

"What about Selene?" My voice sounded like a croak.

"Selene has her own plans, but they don't have to include us," he said, stepping closer still. "You have to understand how hard it is to be her son, her only son. She depends on me—I'm the heir to the throne. But I can have my own life, too, with you, and it doesn't have to include her. It's just— first I have to help her finish some things she's been working on. If you help us, too, it will all go so much faster. And then we can be free of her."

I looked at him, feeling a cold, deadly calm replacing the panic and wretchedness inside me. I knew what I had seen in my vision, and I knew Cal was either lying or kidding himself about Selene's plans. They didn't include letting him—or me—be free.

"I'm free of her now," I said. "I know that Selene needs me for something. She's counting on you to sign me up. But I'm not going to, Cal. I'm not going to be part of it."

His expression looked like he had just watched me get hit by a car.

"Morgan," he choked out, "you don't understand. Remember our future, our plans, our little apartment. Remember? Please just help us with this one thing, and then we can work out all the details later. Trust me on this. Please."

My heart was bleeding. I said, "No. Selene can't have me. I won't do what she wants. I won't go with you. It's all over, Cal. I'm leaving the coven. And I'm leaving you."

His head snapped up as if I had hit him, and he stared at me. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I do," I said, trying to make my voice strong, though I really wanted only to crumple in misery on the ground. "It's over. I won't be with you anymore." Each word scarred my throat, etching its pain in acid.

"But you love me!"

I looked at him, unable to deny it even after all this.

"I love you," he said. "Please, Morgan. Don't—don't force my hand, just come with me, let Selene explain everything herself. She can make you understand better than I can."

"No."

"Morgan! I'm asking you, if you love me, come with me now. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just come and tell Selene herself that you won't be part of her coven. That's all you need to do. Just tell her to her face. I'll back you up."

"You tell her."

His eyes narrowed with anger, then it was gone. "Don't be unreasonable. Please don't make me do anything I don't want to do."

Fear shot through me. "What are you talking about?"

His face had a strange look, a look of desperation. I was suddenly terrified. The next second I whirled, broke into a run, and was digging my car keys out of my pocket. I ripped open the car door, hearing Cal right behind me, then he yanked the door open, hard, and shoved me in.

"Ow!" I cried as my head hit the door frame.

"Get in!" he roared, pushing against me. "Get in!"

Goddess, help me, I prayed as I scrambled to let myself out the other side. But when I grabbed the door handle, Cal put his hand on my neck and squeezed, muttering words that I didn't understand, words that sounded ancient and dark and ugly.

I tried to counter with my Gaelic chant, but my tongue frozen my mouth and a paralyzing numbness swept over me, I couldn't move, couldn't look away from him, couldn't scream. He had put a binding spell on me. Again.

I'm so stupid, I thought ridiculously as he started Das Boot with my keys.

February 2001

I did it. I put a witch under the braigh.

The fellow in Cornwell was mad, there is no question of that. When I came to question him he first tried to evade me, then when he saw that I would not give up, he flew into a frenzy. He gibbered about how he would curse me and my whole family, that he was one of the Cwn Annwyn, the hounds of Hell. He began to shout out a spell and I had to wrestle him to the ground and put the braigh on him. Then he began to weep and plead. He told me how it burned him, and begged me to let him go. At last his eyes rolled back in his head and he lost consciousness.

I put him in the car, and Athar drover us to London. I left him with Kennet Muir. Kennet told me I'd done well; the man might be mad but he also had true power and was therefore dangerous. He said my task was done, and now it was the seven elders' job to determine the man's future.

I left, and then Ather and I went to a pub and got very drunk. Later, she held me while I wept.

— Giomanach

"You just don't get it, do you?" Cal said angrily, taking a corner too fast. I slumped against the car door helplessly. Inside, my mind was whirring like a tornado, a thousand thoughts spinning out of control, but the binding spell he had put on me weighted my limbs as thoroughly as if I were encased in cement.

"Slow down," I managed to whisper.

"Shut up!" he shouted. "I can't believe you're making me do this! I love you! Why can't you listen to me? All I need is for you to come talk to Selene. But no. You can't even do that for me. The one thing I ask you to do, you won't. And now I have to do this. I don't want to do this."