Эллен Шрайбер - Kissing Coffins

Why hadn't I thought of her sooner? At the party, Jameson had asked her out for a date.

No one stands up Ruby—not even the undead!

2 Flower Power

The following morning I ran full throttle to Armstrong Travel, arriving before the agency opened. I heard keys rattling and heels clicking behind me. It was Janice Armstrong, the owner.

"Where is Ruby?" I asked breathlessly.

"She doesn't come in on Tuesdays until the afternoon," she answered, opening the door.

"The afternoon?" I groaned.

"By the way," she said, moving close, "do you know anything about Alexander's butler?"

"Creepy Man?" I asked. "I mean, Jameson?"

"They were supposed to have a date," she confessed, switching on the office lights and adjusting the thermostat.

"How was it?" I asked naively.

Janice put her purse in her top drawer, turned on her computer, and looked at me.

"Don't you already know? He didn't show," she said. "And with a stunner like Ruby he was lucky she even looked in his direction!"

"Did he say why he canceled?" I pressed.

"No. I thought Alexander would have told you," she said.

"Not directly."

She shook her head. "A good man is hard to find, you know. But you have Alexander."

I bit my black lip.

"Hey, aren't you late for school?" she inquired, looking up at the Armstrong Travel clock.

"I'm always late! Janice, can you give me Ruby's address?"

"Why don't you stop back at the end of the day?"

"It's just that she left her compact—"

"You can leave it here," Janice suggested.

The front door opened and in walked Ruby.

I imagined a jaded woman in jeans holding a cigarette and a beer, but even being jilted, Ruby was in style. She was wearing full makeup and a white sweater and matching tight white slacks.

"You're in early today," Janice said.

"I have a lot to catch up on," Ruby replied with a sigh. "What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised to see me.

"I have something of yours."

"If you are here on behalf of Jameson," she said, "you can tell him I'm sorry I had to cancel."

"You? But he was—" I began.

Ruby settled in at her desk and turned on her computer, accidentally knocking over her cup of pens.

"Darn it!" she exclaimed, agitated, trying to grab the pens as they fell to the floor.

Janice and I raced over to help her pick them up.

"This has never happened before!" Ruby said angrily. "Now everyone will know."

"I knock things over all the time," I comforted.

"No, she means about Jameson," Janice whispered to me. "I got stood up several times before I met my Joe. But I must admit I'm surprised about the butler. It was doubly rude, since we came to the party to support the Sterling family." Janice glared at me as if Jameson's no-show was my fault. "I feel as though he stood me up, too."

"It's not the biggest deal," Ruby said. "Anyway, he's more…shall I say, eccentric than I am."

"He's a fool," Janice said.

"This really surprises me. He was such a gentleman," Ruby lamented. "And that accent. I guess that's why I was taken by him."

"He likes you, too," I said. "Only—"

Both women looked at me as if I were going to reveal national secrets.

"Only what?" Janice asked.

"Only…that he should have called."

"You're darn right! I hope you haven't told anyone about this," Ruby said worriedly. "In a small town like this, being stood up could ruin my reputation."

"You must know something, Raven," Janice pried.

"Yes, did Alexander allude to anything?" Ruby asked.

I had to console my former boss. After all, I was the one who caused Jameson to abandon their date. I couldn't let Ruby take it personally.

"Just that the reason he canceled had nothing to do with you," I said evasively.

"I bet he has a girlfriend," Ruby speculated. "I read in Cosmo —"

"Of course he doesn't!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "But I need to know something as well. Did Jameson have a trip planned?"

"Do you know something I don't?"

"Did he buy any airline tickets? Or come in asking for any road maps?" I hinted.

"What aren't you telling us?"

Ruby and Janice stared at me hard. I wasn't about to tell them the truth—that Alexander didn't reflect in her compact.

Ruby's compact! I almost forgot.

I began to pull it out from my purse when a man dressed in chinos and a red polo shirt entered the office with a grand bouquet. Distracted, I replaced the compact and zipped up my purse.

"Ruby White?" he asked.

"I'm Ruby," she said, her hand waving in the air like she'd just won the coverall at bingo.

He handed Ruby a bouquet of white roses. She blushed as she took the flowers.

Flowers for Ruby? They could have been sent from any number of Dullsvillian suitors.

"What does the card say?" Janice asked eagerly. "I wonder if they're from Kyle the golf pro."

" 'I'm sorry these had to greet you instead of me,'" Ruby read. She looked up in astonishment. "'Fondly, Jameson.'"

"Jameson?" I asked, suddenly wide-eyed.

"How sweet!" Janice said, filling a glass vase from the watercooler. "I told you all along he was wonderful."

"Can you believe this?" Ruby wondered aloud, holding the bouquet close.

"What else does it say?" I asked.

"Isn't that enough?" Janice said, inhaling the scent and placing the flowers in the vase. "They're beautiful!"

"No info on where the order was placed from?" I inquired.

Ruby shook her head, distracted.

"But there has to be—" I mumbled. I looked out the window and saw the deliveryman stepping into a white van with the words FLOWER POWER spelled out in daisies.

I raced out the door as the van began to drive off.

"Wait!" I called, running hard in my combat boots. "You forgot something!"

But it was too late. The van sped around the corner.

Breathless and frustrated, I retreated back to the travel agency. I began to open the door when I noticed a piece of paper lying on the sidewalk. It was a Flower Power delivery order. It must have fallen out of the van. I quickly grabbed it, scanning the document for any vital info. The travel agency address was fully disclosed. But the sender's address was blank. No name. No e-mail. Nothing.

Then, hidden in the right-hand corner, I noticed a ten-digit number.

"Can I use your phone, Ruby?" I asked, running inside. "I'll only be a minute."

"Of course," she said, arranging the roses. At that moment, I could have called Africa and she wouldn't have cared.

The area code seemed oddly familiar. I racked my brain. It belonged to a town a couple hundred miles away, where my aunt Libby lived.

I dialed. Would Alexander's voice greet me? Ring. Or Creepy Man's? Ring. Or would it be a dead end? Ring.

"Thank you for calling the Coffin Club," a zombie-like voice finally answered. "Our business hours are nightly from sunset to sunrise. Leave a message—if you dare!"

I let the phone slip from my hand. Ruby was still arranging her flowers.

"Good goth!" I whispered. "The Coffin Club!"

3 Final Depature

At school I now experienced a newfound popularity. It wasn't as if I were a celebrity, but schoolmates who had never even looked my way before called, "What's up, Raven?"

But besides a hello wave, nothing had changed. No one except Matt and Becky invited me to eat lunch, offered me a ride home, or asked me to join their study group. Not one classmate secretly passed me a note or bothered to share his pack of gum. Thankfully, I was too distracted to appreciate any rise in status and spent a morbidly long afternoon in front of the library computer searching the Internet for the Coffin Club.

"I want to visit Aunt Libby," I told my parents that night at dinner.