Эллен Шрайбер - Kissing Coffins

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Goth girl Raven is back in this funny sequel to VAMPIRE KISSES. She is still trying to connect with her mysterious true love Alexander Sterling, who has disappeared from his mansion in Raven's small town, which she calls "Dullsville." Raven would like to know, among other things, if he wants to make her a vampire so she can be with him. She learns that Jameson, Alexander's butler, placed an order for flowers from a nearby town that Raven labels "Hipsterville." Luckily her aunt lives there and she heads over for a visit during her spring break. Hipsterville offers stores specializing in Goth clothes, a Coffin Club night hotspot, and a historical society with clues about local mansions. As Raven tracks down her elusive boyfriend, she draws the attention of another vampire, one who also wants to find Alexander, but for dark reasons of his own. While she is enjoying fitting in with the Goth folks in Hipsterville, Raven does not want to draw Alexander into danger. But danger does follow her back to Dullsville...

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"And I'll be able to see what happens to Jenny," Becky said excitedly. "I can dress as one of the town's vampires and wear a cape."

"And fangs!" I added.

Just then Trevor walked onto the field with his soccer-snob groupies. He looked up at Matt, who sat down next to Becky.

As much as Trevor tormented me and as pathetic as I thought he was, I felt a tinge of pity for him. He was an even sadder case now that he was Matt-less. I watched Matt offer Becky his sandwich.

"I'm glad you got traded to our team," I said to Matt, who closed his brown bag and gave me a warm smile.

After school, Becky and I searched through my closet to find her a costume to wear to the drive-in.

"Man, you do have a lot of black," she said, as I tossed out dozens of skirts and shirts for her to choose from.

Becky modeled black tights, a black miniskirt, and a lacy black chemise.

"That's perfect. You'll be one of the members of the vampire gang who tries to convert Jenny. I just need my outfit."

I heard my mom's SUV pull into the driveway, and Becky and I raced to meet her at the back door.

"Can I have an advance on my allowance?" I asked hurriedly.

"Calm down," she advised. "Don't I even get a hello?"

"Hello," I replied. "Now, can I have an advance on my allowance?"

"I hope you didn't bid on a Hello Batty toaster on eBay again. I thought we told you—"

"I want to dye my hair blond."

"Blond?" she asked, shocked. "You are not going to ruin your gorgeous black hair."

"But it needs to be blond to complete my costume."

"Are you in a play?"

"Well, sort of."

"For school?"

"No, I just need your help."

"Well, I have some wigs from college in the box I emptied for Nightmare. I know there's an auburn one. There may be a blond one, too."

"Can we go see?" I begged.

Mom reluctantly put her purse down on the kitchen table, and Becky and I followed her into my parents' bedroom.

She rummaged through an old Harrod's shopping bag. "Here it is!" she exclaimed, as if she'd found a sunken treasure. She handed me a weathered blond wig. "I wore this in college. Your father loved it!"

I rolled my eyes. "I also need a white dress," I confessed.

She looked at me, pleased, as if her rebellious daughter were finally asking to borrow pearls. "I'll see what I have!" she replied gleefully.

She picked up a pair of flared denims with rhinestones from the box. "Do you believe I once wore these?" she asked, holding them against her pleated Ann Taylor skirt.

"I have a white blouse," she said.

"Ahh. Here's a white eyelet skirt."

"Perfect."

My mom stuck the wig on my head, and I held the clothes in front of me.

"It's like looking at a teenage version of myself," she said fondly.

I threw the skirt and blouse in the wash, and Becky and I returned to my room.

"We are so going to rock!" I said. "But we just need one thing to complete our outfits."

I hunted through my dresser drawers, closet shelves, and boxes underneath my bed.

Halloween was months ago, and in a town like Dullsville it was easier to find a fake Prada purse than fake teeth.

Frustrated, I banged on Billy Boy's door. He opened it slightly, sticking his Charlie Brown—shaped head out. I could barely see Henry typing at my brother's computer.

"Did you take my vampire teeth?" I accused him.

"Why would I want your nasty saliva near me?" Billy Boy said, starting to close the door on me.

"Well, I can't find them, and I have to have them for tonight," I argued, pressing the door back open.

Henry rushed over to the door. "I have some," he offered. "Never been used."

Henry and Billy Boy rode their bikes, and I followed with Becky on mine. We must have been quite a sight as we headed to Henry's house at the edge of Oakley Woods—two goths and two nerds riding alongside one another.

We parked our bikes in Henry's driveway and entered the colonial-style five-bedroom house.

We were greeted by his housekeeper, who was folding laundry.

We walked up the pristine wooden stairs to his bedroom. A NO YUPPIES allowed sign hung on his door.

"I like that," I said.

A spongy black doormat rested on the floor, and a million dead bolts sealed his door.

"What are you hiding inside? Secret recipes of cafeteria food?" I asked.

After he unlocked the outside dead bolts, he stepped onto the mat. His bedroom door sprung open automatically.

Henry had a loft bed, with a metallic blue computer underneath. Stars were pasted on his ceiling, I'm sure in astronomically correct order. A solar system mobile hung from his ceiling fan. A telescope stood by his window.

He slid open his walk-in closet doors to reveal neatly stacked, clear plastic shoe boxes.

"Five dollars gets you samples," he said, pointing to them.

Each box was labeled: ACNE, blood, pimples. PUKE. SCARS.

"Who wants to have more pimples?" I asked.

"And I have smells. Here," he said, opening a beaker and pushing it under my nose.

"Gross!" I said, repulsed. "It smells like the bathroom after Billy Boy uses it."

"Shut up!" my brother said.

"I like to pour this on Mrs. Louis's chair sometimes," he said proudly. "Look around. I have them alphabetized."

"I should have known."

Becky and I each handed over our money and loaded our pockets with ghoulish goodies.

When we were finished, Henry held a box before me as if he were holding the Holy Grail. He opened it, revealing two exact replicas of human teeth in the shape of fangs.

"With the glue, seven dollars."

I knew I had only six in my purse.

"Five dollars and a stick of gum," I offered.

"Six. And your school picture," he countered.

I looked hard at him, then at Becky.

"But you inscribed it to me!" she said.

"Please," I begged, flashing her my puppydog eyes.

She opened her wallet and handed Henry the picture.

I handed him the money and left before he changed his mind.

As I headed out to meet Alexander for our date, I found my parents in the kitchen, paying bills.

"I'm going to be out a teensy bit late tonight," I advised.

"It's a school night," my mother said.

"I know, but we're going to the drive-in," I said with a smile.

"Why don't you wait until the weekend?" my mom asked.

"Because tonight's half price if you wear a costume. Becky and Matt are going, too."

"Becky?" my mother asked, surprised.

"Yes, my little Becky. It'll be our first double date. Besides, I already did my homework, and we have a sub for first bell anyway."

"Seems like you had all your excuses lined up," my father said.

"I'll take care of the dishes all week," I said to my mother. "And Dad, I'll wash your car."

"Last time you washed my car, you put Wicked Wiccas stickers on it."

"But you have to admit, it looked cool."

"And last time you took care of the dishes, you broke Grandma's teapot," my mother remembered.

"Fine. Then we have a deal," I began. "I'll just go to the movie, and I'll save you trouble by not doing your chores."

"How did that just happen?" my dad wondered, as I headed for the front door. "And when you're finished with that blond wig, your mother needs it back."

I slung my backpack filled with my Kissing Coffins accessories on my shoulder and grabbed a container of garlic powder from the kitchen. I held it tightly in my hand, as if I were holding a can of Mace, as I walked to the Mansion. If Jagger jumped out at me, I wanted to be protected.

I felt a familiar lurking presence as I turned the corner to Benson Hill. I saw a rustling in a bush and blond strands poking through the branches. I took a deep breath, and I quietly opened the container of garlic powder and threw it hard, directly into the brush.

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