Эллен Шрайбер - Vampireville

"I have tattoos," I said, rolling up my sleeve and showing him a bat tattoo.

"Your dad told you to wash that off," my mother advised.

"And he has pierced kneecaps," my brother went on.

"Well, I'll pierce your kneecaps if you don't stop gossiping like two old ladies."

"All right. Boys, you are going to miss your bus if you don't finish soon," my mother ordered.

Henry and Billy Boy placed their empty bowls in the dishwasher.

"Mom, did Mrs. Mitchell say this girl brought Trevor protein shakes?" I asked.

"Supposedly they are special shakes from Romania. I asked Mrs. Mitchell to get the recipe for me."

Delicious drink, I thought. Ingredients: One cup crushed ice. One banana. One vial vampire's blood.

"I don't think you'd like this particular Romanian drink."

Finally we got a reprieve from the gunfire, and a commercial for Garlic One gelcaps came on the TV. Billy Boy aimed the remote to switch it off.

"No, wait," I said.

"You're suddenly interested in history?" Billy Boy asked proudly. "Maybe I'm rubbing off on you after all."

"Shh…"

My mom followed Billy Boy and Henry as they headed for the front door.

"Garlic One," the commercial continued. "Natural and odorless. Helps promote cardiovascular- health with just one capsule a day."

Their slogan should say, "An odor-free way to keep the vampires away."

I was struck with an idea. Why hadn't I thought of it sooner? There was nothing I loved more than a brand-new plan!

9 Haunted House Calls

"Hey, Beck, do you mind stopping at Paxx Pharmacy?" I asked my best friend when I hopped into her pickup. "I just have to buy a few things on the way to school."

"But Matt will be waiting by the bleachers for us. I don't want to be late."

"It'll only take a sec," I pleaded.

The old girl was as hot-glued to her soccer sweetheart as I was to my vampire boyfriend. I would have been sickened if I didn't understand her amorous devotion.

"Okay," she finally agreed. "I could get Matt some candy. He loves red licorice."

I remember when Becky and I would hang outside Paxx's and eat twines of red licorice until we felt ill. Now, instead of creating new memories with me, she was creating them with Matt.

I turned to my best friend, who was wearing khakis and a pale blue button-down shirt. As long as I'd known Becky, she'd worn jeans and an oversized sweater. How long had I not noticed the change?

"Besides, it will give us a chance to hang out," she added kindly.

Becky was right. I'd been so wrapped up in diverting the union between Trevor and Luna that I hadn't any time left to talk, or even open my eyes!

Now that we had beaus, we didn't cling to each other like we had before. Did that mean we didn't need each other at all?

"It's been forever since we've had girl time," I agreed.

"I know, it's great we have boyfriends, but I'm missing our friendship."

"Me too!" I said. "We have to make time for us."

"It's a pact," she said, extending her pinky finger.

"A pact," I said, entwining my own in hers.

More than spending time apart, I felt like I was in the dark alone, not being able to share with my best friend the fact that our town was crawling with vampires.

"If I tell you something, can you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Matt?" I asked.

"Is it about sex?"

"No. It's even more top secret."

"What's more top secret than sex?"

I was ready to spill my guts. To tell my best friend why my boyfriend was never seen in daylight. To explain to her why Jagger drove a hearse. Why the ghostlike Luna had suddenly come to Dullsville.

But Becky's cherub face looked so happy, her biggest concern being what new outfit to wear to school, what brand of candy treat to buy for Matt. I couldn't spoil her perfect world.

"We're having a pop quiz in Shank's class tomorrow."

"Duh," she said, rolling her eyes. "Everyone knows that."

"Really?" I asked, almost horrified. "Maybe I'm losing my touch."

I was hunkered down in the vitamin-and-herb aisle, studying Mother Nature's remedies and filling my red plastic shopping basket with vitamin C and boxes of Garlic One gelcaps, when Becky finally caught up to me.

"I thought you were feeling better," she said, holding several packages of red licorice.

"I am, but I want to stock up."

"Garlic tablets?" she asked, confused. "I thought you were over your vampire obsession now that you are dating Alexander."

"I am. I just saw this commercial—" "Speaking of Alexander," she interrupted excitedly, "would you two want to meet up at Hatsy's Diner after the soccer game tonight?"

How could I tell my best friend no after we'd just made a pinky-swear pact to hang out more? As long as I was with Alexander and Trevor was home sick, I reasoned, we were all safe.

"Yes, that's a great idea. I don't think Alexander's ever been to Hatsy's."

Becky and I brought our purchases to the counter. We stood, unnoticed, as an elderly clerk hid behind a tabloid mag and her teenage clerkmate filed packets of developed prints.

"Those two kids I was telling you about were in here last night," the elderly clerk gossiped. "I think they are cousins of that weird mansion family on Benson Hill."

"I heard they look like walking corpses," the younger one chimed back.

"They do. I just don't get why kids today think it's cool to look like they've just come out of a coffin."

"I've heard one of them drives a hearse."

Just then the elderly clerk put down her paper and spotted me. Her eyes bugged out like she'd seen a ghost.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Have you been waiting long?"

"An eternity!" I said.

So Jagger and Luna were beginning to make their presence known throughout Dullsville. Were they bored, careless, or marking their territory?

Even though Trevor and I'd spent our lives at each other's throats, I didn't want Luna and Jagger after his. Besides they were looking to do far more damage than wringing his neck. A mixture of emotions flooded through me—protecting a fellow Dullsvillian from a deadly duo, thwarting a plan to have a nefarious soccer snob wreaking havoc, and diverting a plot to have my nemesis turned into a vampire before I was.

I'd have to get these tablets to Trevor. At any moment, Jagger or Luna could strike—or in their case, bite.

Though keeping up my new vampire identity was exhausting, I was really beginning to enjoy it. Everything I felt before as a vampire-obsessed goth I now had to live out—my distaste for the light and passion for darkness, having a secret identity, and being an insider instead of an outsider. I imagined the rest—flying high in Dullsville's sky, living in a spooky dungeon, Alexander and I cuddling the day away in a king-size coffin.

As the sun began to set, I rode my bike to Trevor's, with my Paxx Pharmacy bag safely inside my Olivia Outcast backpack. I'd already called Jameson and told him I'd be a few minutes late to meet Alexander. It was crucial that I keep up my vampire charade and wait until darkness until I visited Trevor, just in case Trevor spilled my visit to Luna.

If he shared with her that I'd visited him after school the first day he was sick, Luna could assume Trevor was delirious from his cold medicine. But now that my nemesis was on the mend, I had to cover my tracks. I couldn't give them any reason to suspect I was still a mortal.

"I've been waiting all day for you," Trevor said as he opened the front door. He was wearing plaid flannel pajama pants and a long-sleeve Big Ten surf shirt and was sporting a much healthier glow—a bad sign he'd be coming back to school, but a good sign he hadn't been bitten.

"You missed me?" I asked with a saccharine grin.

"I thought you were Luna," he said, disappointed. "We're not buying Ghoul Scout cookies today," he said, closing the door.