Морган Райс - Betrayed

As Caitlin read the letter, again and again, pouring over it a first and then a second and third time, dissecting every word, she felt the tears stream down her cheeks.

She had been so stupid. Why hadn’t she read it sooner? Why hadn’t she given him the benefit of the doubt? Why couldn’t she have just listened to him, heard him out?

She was such an idiot. After reading this, it was obvious that he and Sera had nothing between them. That they didn’t have a child together—at least, not for hundreds of years. Sera had twisted it all around. Caleb was completely innocent.

Why couldn’t she have just given him the time of day?

Caitlin was furious at Sera, but even more furious at herself. She had owed Caleb that much, to let him explain, and she hadn’t even had given him that. After all he’d done for her. After he’d saved her life and nursed her back to health—for the third time.

She had been so narrow-minded, so proud, so impatient. She hated herself.

On top of that, she had betrayed him, ordering him to leave her after all he had done for her.

And she had also allowed herself to feel feelings for someone else. Blake. She thought back to last night, and realized that she had also betrayed him with Blake.

Or had she?

Caitlin sat on the edge of her bed, head in her hands, and tried desperately to remember. What had happened? She recalled their conversation. Their walking on the sand. And then? Had he kissed her?

She remembered his reaching up, his stroking her face, her feeling that he was about to kiss her….

But he hadn’t. She remembered now. They had looked deeply into each other’s eyes, then suddenly, mysteriously, he had turned and disappeared.

She reached into her pocket and felt the small piece of worn sea-glass he had given her. She rubbed it, and felt a bit relieved.

At least she had not betrayed Caleb with Blake. Still, thoughts of Blake swirled within her. Was that itself a betrayal?

As the emotions swirled within her, she hated herself, more than ever. Why couldn’t she be stronger? More disciplined? More patient?

At that moment, Caitlin’s emotions manifested into something physical, something swirling inside her gut. She felt literally sick, and suddenly found herself racing towards the open window.

She leaned out and threw up, again and again.

She stood there, wiping her mouth and gasping for breath. She couldn’t remember ever throwing up like that, or for that long. And it had all been blood.

She did not feel herself, and for a moment she wondered if she was really sick. Her entire body’s chemistry felt off, even for a vampire.

As she sat there, breathing, one thing started to become clear: it had not been merely a dream. It was a message. Caleb needed her, she felt sure of it.

And she would do whatever she had to to save him.

Caitlin walked quickly through the woods, Rose at her side, and finally entered the little clearing where Aiden’s home was. It seemed so quiet in the morning light, and she wondered if he was asleep.

She doubted that he was. He didn’t seem to ever sleep. On the one hand, she barely saw him, but on the other hand, he seemed to be omnipresent on the island, the guiding hand that kept the place running smoothly.

He had said, when she’d first arrived, that if she ever needed anything, she shouldn’t hesitate come to him, that his door was always open. She hoped that he meant it. She hadn’t expected to ever come to him with anything, but now she really needed it. As she stood there before his door, hesitating, she worried about how their conversation might go.

Caitlin took a deep breath and finally reached up her hand to knock—and as soon as she did, it opened by itself. Standing there was Aiden, staring back with his resolved, steel-blue eyes, expressionless. He was a hard man to read. His eyes shone in the morning light, and once again, she felt as if he were a mountain, as if he’d been on this planet for thousands of years.

He silently turned and walked across the room, leaving the door open for her to follow. She did, Rose on her heels, and closed the door behind them.

Aiden was already seated behind his desk, hands folded across his chest, patiently watching her.

Caitlin, nervous, took a seat across from him.

Of course he was awake. Of course he had been expecting her. She had forgotten, as always, the psychic powers of vampires—and especially of this one. He probably already knew everything she was about to say. Nonetheless, she had to say it. If nothing else, she had to hear it for herself.

She cleared her throat, nervous.

“I assume you already know why I’m here?” she began cautiously.

He stared back, neutral. “Why don’t you tell me,” he said.

“I dreamt last night of Caleb,” she said. “That he was in danger. But it felt like more than a dream to me. It felt… real.”

“Vampires do not visit each other in sleep casually,” Aiden replied. “Every dream is a visit. An intentional visit. And every dream bears a message. We are not like humans. We can control the dream world.”

Her eyes opened wide in worry.

“Then…it’s true?” she asked. “Caleb is in danger?”

Aiden nodded back gravely. “Yes,” he answered flatly. “Very much so.”

Caitlin felt her heart sink at his words, and she stood, too agitated to sit. How could he be so casual?

“Well—what—I—what do you mean? What do you know?” she asked.

“As much as you,” was all he said.

“Then if it’s true,” she said, pacing the room, “I…I can’t just sit here. I have to go to him. I have to help him.”

“Why?”

“Why?” she asked, confused. “What do you mean, why?”

“What is he to you?” he asked calmly.

Caitlin glared back at Aiden, angry now. Why would he ask her that? He knew how much she cared for Caleb. And he knew how much Caleb cared for her. He couldn’t possibly be asking that question literally.

No, she realized. As with everything Aiden said, it carried another message, a hint. He must be asking her rhetorically. He was trying to coax something out of her, like he always did. He wanted her to work it out on her own, to vocalize it. He wanted her to put a label on their relationship, to say it out loud. He was goading her towards something.

“Caleb is my…” Caitlin began, then trailed off. What could she say? Boyfriend was too weak of a term; husband wasn’t accurate, though. What was he exactly? Caitlin didn’t know the term to describe it.

“He’s my beloved,” she finally said.

Aiden nodded back, seemingly satisfied with the response. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Again, Caitlin stared at him, sensing that he was goading her towards some revelation. He wanted to know how sure she was, how sure of her own feelings. He must have sensed something else. Yes, that was it: he must have sensed some lingering feelings between her and Blake. Yes. It was a rebuke. He wanted her to get clear on her own feelings, wanted her to decide, to know for sure who she would commit to wholeheartedly.

He was right, she realized. She did have some lingering feelings for Blake. And if Caleb was truly her beloved, then she could not allow herself to have feelings for anyone else. It required an inner discipline, and this is what he what he was demanding of her.

“Yes,” Caitlin said finally, confidently, definitively. “Caleb. And only Caleb.”

Aiden nodded. “Good. Very good,” he said. “Vampire love is a very sacred thing. It is not something to be given lightly.”

“I have to help him,” Caitlin said again, emphatically. “I feel that he needs me.”

“He does,” Aiden said. “But you won’t be able to help him.”

“What do you mean?”