Лиза Смит - The Return - Shadow Souls

“I can’t help it,” Elena interrupted him.

“You have to help it!”

“—because he’s my only hope, Stefan! He’s not going to hurt me. He’s already killed to protect me. Oh, God, so much has happened! We’re on our way to—” Elena hesitated, her eyes flicking around warily.

Stefan’s eyes widened for an instant. But when he spoke his face was deadpan. “Someplace where you’ll be safe.”

“Yes,” she said, just as seriously, knowing that phantom tears were now racing down her bodiless cheeks. “And…oh, Stefan, there’s so much you don’t know. Caroline accused Matt of attacking her while they were on a date because she’s pregnant. But it wasn’t Matt!”

“Of course not!” Stefan said indignantly, and would have said more, but Elena was racing on.

“And I think that the — the litter is really Tyler Smallwood’s because of the timing, and because Caroline’s changing. Damon said that—”

“A werewolf baby will always turn its mother into a werewolf—”

“Yes! But the werewolf part is going to have to fight the malach that’s already inside her. Bonnie and Meredith told me things about Caroline — like how she was scuttling on the floor like a lizard — that just terrified me. But I had to leave them to deal with that so that I could — could get to that safe place.”

“Werewolves and were-foxes,” Stefan said, shaking his head. “Of course, the kitsune, the foxes, are much more powerful magically, but werewolves tend to kill before they think.” He struck his knee with his fist. “I wish I could be there!”

Elena burst out with mixed wonder and despair, “And instead here I am — with you! I never knew I could do this. But I haven’t been able to bring you anything this way, not even myself. My blood.” She made a helpless gesture and saw the smugness in Stefan’s eyes.

He still had the Clarion Loess Black Magic wine she’d smuggled to him! She knew it! It was the only liquid that would — in a pinch — help keep a vampire alive when no blood was available.

Black Magic “wine”—nonalcoholic and never made for humans in the first place, was the only drink that vampires really enjoyed aside from blood. Damon had told Elena that it was magically made from special grapes that were grown in the soil at the edges of glaciers, loess, and that they were always kept in complete darkness. That was what gave it its velvety dark taste, he’d said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Stefan said, undoubtedly for the benefit of anyone who might be spying. “Exactly how did it happen?” he asked then. “This out of body thing? Why don’t you come down here and tell me about it?” He lay back on his pallet, turning aching eyes on her. “I’m sorry that I don’t have a better bed to offer you.” For a moment the humiliation showed clearly in his face. All this time he’d managed to hide it from her: the shame he felt in appearing before her in this way — in a filthy cell, with rags for clothes, and infested with God knew what. He — Stefan Salvatore, who had once been — had once been—

Elena’s heart truly broke then. She knew it was breaking, because she could feel it inside shattering like glass, with each needle-like shard skewering flesh inside her chest. She knew it was breaking, too, because she was weeping, huge spirit tears that dropped on Stefan’s face like blood, translucent in the air as they fell, but turning deep red when they touched Stefan’s face.

Blood? Of course, it wasn’t blood, she thought. She couldn’t even bring anything so useful to him in this form. She was really sobbing now; her shoulders shaking as the tears continued to fall onto Stefan, who now had one hand held up as if to catch one…

“Elena—” There was wonder in his voice.

“Wha — what?” she keened.

“Your tears. Your tears make me feel…” He was staring up at her with something like awe.

Elena still couldn’t stop weeping, although she knew that she had soothed his proud heart — and done something else.

“I d-don’t understand.”

He caught one of her tears and kissed it. Then he looked at her with a sheen in his own eyes. “It’s hard to talk about, lovely little love….”

Then why use words? she thought, still weeping, but coming down to his level so she could snuffle just above his throat.

It’s just…they’re not too free with the refreshments around here,

he told her. As you guessed. If you hadn’t — helped me — I’d’ve been dead by now. They can’t figure out why I’m not. So they — well they run out before they get to me, sometimes, you see —

Elena lifted her head, and this time tears of pure rage fell right onto his face. Where are they? I’ll kill them. Don’t tell me I can’t because I’ll find a way. I’ll find a way to kill them even though I’m in this state—

He shook his head at her. Angel, angel, don’t you see? You don’t have to kill them. Because your tears, the phantom tears of a pure maiden —

She shook her head back at him. Stefan, if anyone knows I’m not a pure maiden, it’s you—

— of a pure maiden, Stefan continued, not even disturbed by her interruption, can cure all ills. And I was ill tonight, Elena, even though I tried to hide it. But I’m cured now! As good as new! They’ll never be able to understand how it could happen.

Are you sure?

Look at me!

Elena looked at him. Stefan’s face, which had been gray and drawn before, was different now. He was usually pale, but now his fine features looked flushed — as if he had been standing in front of a bonfire and the light was still reflecting off the pure lines and elegant planes of his beloved face.

I…did that? She remembered the first tear droplets falling, and how they had looked like blood on his face. Not like blood, she realized, but like natural color, sinking into him, refreshing him.

She couldn’t help but hide her face again in his throat as she thought, I’m glad. Oh, I’m so glad. But I wish we could touch each other. I want to feel your arms around me.

“At least I can look at you,” Stefan whispered, and Elena knew that even this is like water in the wasteland to him. “And if we could touch, I’d put my arm around your waist here, and kiss you here and here….”

They spoke to each other this way for a while — just exchanging lovers’ nonsense, each sustained by the sight and sound of the other. And then, softly but firmly, Stefan asked her to tell him all about Damon — everything since they’d started. By now Elena was cool-headed enough to tell him about the incident with Matt without making Damon sound too much like a villain.

“And Stefan, Damon really is protecting us as best he can.” She told him about the two possessed vampires who had been tracking them and what Damon had done.

Stefan merely shrugged and said wryly, “Most people write with pencils; Damon writes people off with them.” He added, “And your clothes got dirty?”

“Because I heard a great big crash — which ended up being Matt on top of the car,” she said. “But, to be fair, he was trying to stake Damon at the time. I made him get rid of the stake.” She added, in the barest of whispers: “Stefan, please don’t mind that Damon and I have to — to be together a lot right now. It doesn’t change anything between us.”

“I know.”

And the amazing thing was that he did know. Elena was bathed in the deep glow of his trust for her.

After that they “held” each other, Elena snuggling weightlessly above the curve of Stefan’s arm…and it was bliss.