Lynsay Sands - The Reluctant Vampire

The cat stilled at her call, growled, and stomped its feet like a child throwing a tantrum. It made Drina chuckle as she continued forward, and she bent forward, trying to make herself smaller and less threatening as she continued to call, “Here kitty, kitty,” hoping to lure it to her.

Animals were so adorable really; cute, cuddly, affectionate. In the darkest part of the front garden though it was, she could still make out that it was hunkered down to the ground, looking oddly flat and wide. Not starving then, but-

Drina stopped abruptly, a choked sound slipping from her throat as the damned thing lifted its tail and somehow pissed at her. She was a good eight or ten feet away still, and the damned thing hit her right in the face and chest and-

Dear Lord, the smell was the most god-awful stench she’d ever encountered. Drina staggered back, wondering with horror what the hell the animal had been eating that its urine would smell so damned foul. That was followed by the wonder as to whether it was some damned mutant to be able to pee out its butt at her, but they were brief thoughts that flashed across her mind, and in the next moment were gone, replaced with dismay as her eyes began to sting as if someone had shoved burning hot pokers in her eyes.

Gagging and choking, Drina stumbled and fell on her butt and rolled to the side. Her hands rose to cover her burning eyes, and moans were gargling from her mouth.

“Drina?”

She hadn’t heard the front door open, but she heard Teddy’s shout and the stomp of his feet as he raced down the front steps.

“What the hell-Dear God, it’s a skunk!” His approaching footsteps stopped abruptly on that almost falsetto squawk, and then continued more cautiously, appearing to curve to the side a bit rather than approach directly, as he muttered, “Shoo! Shoo you little bugger. Don’t make me shoot you, you damned varmint. Christ, you’ve been sprayed. I can smell you from here. Oh God Almighty. What the hell were you thinking playing with a skunk? For Christ’s sake. Shoo!” he repeated. “Damn, did it get you in the face? Shoo!”

Drina was lying still now, curled on her side with eyes closed, waiting for the nanos to fix whatever the heck the cat urine had done and listening to Teddy with confusion. She couldn’t tell from one moment to the next who he was addressing, herself or the cat, and she hadn’t a clue what he was talking about, except he seemed afraid of the little beast that had done this to her. Not that she blamed him really, considering the agony she was in, but the creature wasn’t much bigger than a kitten, and Teddy did have a damned gun and-cripes her eyes hurt.

“Shoot the damned thing,” Drina growled, deciding maybe she didn’t like animals so much anymore.

“I’m not shooting it. It’ll wake up the whole damned neighborhood. Could give one of the old biddies in the retirement home across the street a heart attack, and-”

“Then throw a damned snowball at it,” she demanded furious.

“Teddy? What’s happening?” Leonora’s voice called out from the general vicinity of what Drina guessed was the porch.

“Why is the bella Alexandrina rolling on the snow?” Alessandro’s voice sounded next. “Is she making the snow angels?”

“No, she’s not making the damned snow angels,” Teddy muttered with exasperation.

“Oh dear, is that a skunk?” Leonora asked.

“No,” Alessandro gasped with horror. “No the smelly cat!”

“I’ve told you, Alessandro darling, they aren’t cats.”

“They look like the cats. Like the big fluffy cat she’s been stepped on and flattened to a big fluffy pancake cat,” Alessandro argued.

“Well, perhaps a little,” Leonora conceded.

“I hate the smelly cats,” Alessandro vowed, and Drina thought she heard a shudder in his voice. “They smell like-Like that!” he cried, as the smell apparently reached him. “Make her to go away, Teddy!”

“How the hell am I supposed to make it go away, Alessandro?”

“Throw the ball of the snow at it,” Alessandro said, and Drina nodded. It was exactly what she’d suggested.

“He can’t do that, dear,” Leonora said soothingly.

“Why not?” Alessandro demanded.

“Because the damned thing has nowhere to go,” Teddy snapped. “Drina’s in the way. It’s trapped in the corner of the garden. Throwing snowballs at it will just piss it off and make it spray again, and I have no intention of getting sprayed.”

“Then you must to get the bella Alexandrina out of the way,” Alessandro said with distress. “We must to get the smelly cat to go away.”

“Drina, pull yourself toward my voice a few feet. I can help you up and out of its way then,” Teddy called.

“Pull myself?” she asked with disbelief, and then demanded, “Come here and help me. I can’t even see.”

“I can’t. You’re too close to the skunk,” Teddy explained. “Just pull yourself this way.”

“Where the hell is Mr. Big Brave Police Chief who was willing to take on a rabid rogue?” she asked dryly. “A rabid rogue, by the way, who could twist you into pretzel shapes and laugh while he did it?”

“Rabid rogues are one thing, skunks are another entirely,” Teddy said dryly. “Just pull yourself over here and-”

He fell silent as the sound of smashing glass sounded.

“What was that?” Drina asked sharply.

“It came from the back of the house,” Teddy said sharply, and then she heard Harper shout and Stephanie scream, and Teddy barked, “Wait here.”

“What? Wait!” she cried, then cursed and forced her hands from her eyes to try to see as she heard his footsteps rush away. She could hear Leonora and Alessandro moving away as well but couldn’t see a damned thing. Opening her eyes merely brought on the pain again and forced her to close them once more. Though she thought this time they hurt a little less. Maybe.

Adrenaline rushing through her, Drina started to roll onto her stomach to get up, ignoring the growl the action immediately caused from the corner of the yard. Worried sick about Harper and Stephanie, she merely snarled, “Go ahead and spray me again, bitch! My eyes are closed, and I can’t smell any worse than I do now.”

Drina staggered to her feet and stumbled blindly toward where she thought Leonora’s and Alessandro’s voices had been coming from earlier. She’d only taken a couple of steps when she stumbled into what felt like a snow-covered boulder and fell face-first in the snow. Releasing a string of curses she’d learned while a pirate, Drina started to scramble back to her feet, then froze as a faint waft of smoke reached her nose. Lifting her head, she sniffed the air, but whatever she’d smelled was gone. All she could smell was some horrible combination of rotten eggs, burning rubber, and very strong garlic. She could hear the hungry rush of flames, though, coming from what she thought was the side of the house.

Gritting her teeth, Drina didn’t bother trying to get up and risk running into something else but began to crawl forward on her hands and knees. She’d only moved a foot or so when her senses made her pause and stiffen.

Drina’s head rose like a deer scenting the air for danger though she apparently had no sense of smell at the moment, and it was sound she was testing the air for. Someone was there. She knew it. She could feel their presence in the prickling along her spine.

Her first instinct was to go for her gun, but she no longer had that. She must have dropped it when she’d fallen back after being sprayed, Drina realized. Christ, she was a blind idiot, crawling around in the dark without a damned weapon, she thought bitterly, and then recalled the crossbow hanging from her shoulder. Not that it would be much use since she was presently blind. She might as well be wearing a stupid nightie and wailing please don’t kill me.