Christopher Smith - Bullied

Before he could speak, Ginny Gibson suddenly got all righteous. "You said 'boo' to us," she said. "You leaned forward and said, 'boo.' And that's when it happened. You said, 'boo' and now look at us. Look at us!"

I was aware that Garland was looking at me, trying to process the situation but failing. I needed to step in and give him the big picture.

"Actually, Ginny, it really went down like this. I tried to walk into the classroom when Jake blocked my entrance with one of his meaty arms and started in on me, just as he always does." I turned to Garland. "And don't pretend you don't know anything about that. I assume Hastings isn't here today because he came after me yesterday. Is that right?"

He said nothing. Obviously, Principal Roberts had delivered her bullying speech at last night's teachers' meeting.

"Since crazy Jake here wasn't about to move his arm, I pushed it down and walked through the door."

"And when he did," Alex said, nodding toward Jake, "this idiot came after him and smashed his books over his head. Seth went down hard. For a moment, I think he lost consciousness because he wasn't moving. It's a wonder he didn't break his neck in that fall."

Garland looked at Jake. "Is that true?"

Too stupid and too proud to deny it, Tyler went for it. "Yeah, it's true,” he said, glaring at me. "And it'll happen again. Bet on it. Soon."

"Not in this school, it won't," Garland said. "And you better watch your mouth about delivering any additional threats, because that one's going to the police. Go to the principal. I'll be down in a minute." He looked at me as Jake left. "You need to see the nurse. Have her check your head. You could have a concussion."

And then he turned to the class. "Seems to me that people got a little nervous when Seth was hit. When you saw that he wasn't moving, that Alex couldn’t revive him, then a lot of you got really nervous, which is why I think many of you are in the situation you're in now."

"That's not true!" Ginny shouted.

Garland pointed a finger at her. "Detention. One week."

"What?"

"Do you want me to make that two?"

Her face became so ugly, her lips twisted back in rage.

"Go to the principal. Now."

"Are you joking? Look at me. I'm a mop."

"Not my problem. Go."

In a huff, she grabbed her books, stepped over her little yellow puddle with whatever dignity she had left and swung out of the room with her books held low in front of her. As she passed Jennifer, who hadn't left the doorway, I was aware that she was looking at me. What I saw wasn't so much concern on her face, though it was there, but also what appeared to be her trying to solve some sort of mystery. Me.

Garland stepped to the center of the room. I waited for him to say what I wanted to hear him say-that the school had enacted a strict no-bullying policy-but that's not what he said. In fact, he didn't address the situation at all. He merely told the class to call their parents to come pick them up so they could go home, take a shower and change into fresh clothes.

As the students filed out of the room, he turned to me. "What's going on with you, Seth?"

My answer was immediate. "I'm not taking their shit anymore. If the school board and the teachers won’t protect me, then I need to start standing up for myself. I've been going through this for years-and you know it. You've seen it. You’ve done nothing about it. The same goes for too many other teachers in this school. It's wrong what's happening and yet every teacher in this school knows it's happening to me and to others, but you do nothing about it. Sometimes, I think you're the worst bullies because you choose to look the other way. You let it happen. It's easier to say let it happen. I'm tired of it and I'm not going to back down from the students who hate me, from you or from any other teacher who doesn't act on my behalf. I'm done with it. And I'll go public with it."

"That's your choice," Garland said. "But I wouldn't recommend it."

"I'm sure you wouldn't."

He walked over to his desk and sat down. "Care to know why?"

"Shoot."

"Because you’ll only make it worse. We can't prevent anything that happens off school grounds. I think you're setting yourself up for something bad, Seth. I think if you take this too far, it could blow up in your face."

"So, I should just continue to take it? You should just continue to ignore it? What kind of bullshit is that?"

When he didn't say anything, I left to see the nurse.

The rest of the day was a wash. People were on edge. The mood was off. Most were talking. I was the conversation.

Jake had been thrown out of school for the rest of the week. Worse, because he threatened me in front of Mr. Garland, the police were now involved. They came by and had a little chat with Jake and Principal Roberts, which didn't go well because Jake's parents got involved-and Jake's father is a member of the school board, which complicates things.

Then there's Ginny, who is Jake's on-and-off girlfriend. Together, they're a force and have so many friends, it's daunting. Now, I was so officially entrenched on their shitlist, it didn't take a genius to know that Mr. Garland was right. Maybe this was all going to blow up in my face.

Of course, what no one knew is what I wore around my neck. If Jake and Ginny organized out of spite, which I had an idea they would, could the amulet help me against a group of people. I didn't know and it worried me.

At lunch, I sat with Alex and Jennifer, but there wasn’t much conversation. Alex mentioned that he was joining the football team, which was perfect for him and I was glad for him. Jennifer said something about seeing a movie on Friday night with a few of her girlfriends. As for me? Well, I’d be stuck in my room as always because I had nowhere else to go. I thought about telling them that today was my birthday, but what was the point? Just to seek attention? Not me.

Still, we did agree that at some point on Saturday, we should meet at Starbucks for a coffee and some downtime. And apparently, we all silently agreed to ignore the noise of conversation that surrounded us because it was about us.

We didn't share any classes for the rest of the day, so when the bell rang, we made a date for noon at Starbucks on Saturday and went our separate ways.

Outside, in the hall, I felt more alone than I had in awhile. Glances were shot my way, but nothing more than that, which was a shift from how it usually went down. Usually, I was knocked up against a locker. Somebody would spit on me. Or I'd be punched.

Now, I was considered a threat.

Two days back in school and I had actively called out a few of the most popular bullies. Few knew what to do with it. If I was willing to take them on, surely I'd take on others like them. And so their eyes lifted fleetingly as I passed them. And as I passed them, what I saw on their faces was unmistakable-rage.

Later, at home, I walked around the trailer to make sure nothing additional had been added and was relieved to find that everything was as it should be.

I went into the house prepared for the usual bullshit and was surprised to find my mother at the stove. I looked around the place and saw that she had actually cleaned. And then, on the kitchen table, I saw why-there sat a chocolate cake on a cake stand and a couple of balloons tied to a wrapped present.

She turned to me when I walked in and for the first time since I could remember, it was apparent that she wasn’t drunk. She may have had a few, but she wasn't drunk. "Happy birthday," she said. "I'm making your favorite.

I didn't have a favorite. What did she consider my favorite?

I sniffed and looked and saw that she'd made a large pot of tomato sauce with meatballs. And I have to admit, while my mother was no cook, it did smell good. I decided to be cautiously positive. Maybe it'll turn out to be my favorite.