Christopher Golden - The Monster’s Corner - Stories Through Inhuman Eyes

Might as well?

Max couldn’t bend forward and snatch prey like Jenny, but he was far from obsolete, right? He could still bite arms off, or heads, or whatever parts the good doctor wanted bit off. Perhaps he couldn’t bite somebody completely in half or swallow them whole, but why would you even need that skill?

He was still one of the most vicious plants in the greenhouse. By far.

Sorry you didn’t get any, he told Jenny. He usually shares better.

It’s okay. I’m not that hungry.

The pool of blood is getting close. You might be able to bend over and slurp it up.

Thanks, but I don’t need leftovers.

What do you mean?

I’m sorry. That was rude. I didn’t mean anything by it. Jenny bent all the way down to the ground, stayed there for a few seconds, then sprang back to an upright position. I can’t reach the blood yet.

It’s still moving. It’ll get there soon.

I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t mean that your half-eaten meals were leftovers. I’d like to share. Really.

I know what you meant. I totally understand.

Specimen 90 was dug up and discarded the next morning. He hadn’t come out of the ground easily, and finally the doctor had taken an axe to his roots. Most of the specimens perished fairly quietly, but not Specimen 90. He called them all monsters for just watching him die. Said he hoped that the greenhouse caught fire and that they all burned to death.

Max felt sorry for him, truly he did, but there was nothing any of the others could do. Getting to spend time around Jenny had brought some of the pleasure back to Max’s life, and he was secretly relieved when Specimen 90 died after only one night out of the dirt.

The day after that, Dr. Prethorius walked through the greenhouse with a baby. All of the plants grew extremely excited, and Jenny stretched forward as far as she could, but the doctor walked around the entire lab without offering the baby to anybody. He manipulated the baby’s hand to wave good-bye and then left.

I think that was his grandson, said Max. He’s mentioned him before.

Oh well. We can’t expect him to feed us his grandson.

Nope.

Are you feeling okay? asked Jenny.

Why?

Your leaves are lighter today.

No, I feel fine.

Good.

“Hmmmmm,” said Dr. Prethorius, plucking off one of Max’s leaves — a small one near the bottom. He turned the leaf around, looking at it from a few different angles, and frowned. “Hmmmmm.”

I’m scared.

You’ll be fine, Max.

What do you think he’s going to do to me?

He’s not going to do anything to you. One vagrant in your trap and you’ll be good as new, I promise.

No. I don’t need human flesh to survive. It’s just a treat. There’s something else wrong with me.

Maybe your dietary needs have changed. It happens all the time. You need to stop worrying.

I don’t want to die.

You won’t.

I love you, Jenny .

What?

Max hadn’t actually meant to say that. He tried to decide if it would be better to take it back and pretend that she’d misunderstood him, or leave it out there.

If he was going to die, he wanted to die happy.

I love you, he repeated.

Oh.

Oh?

What do you want me to say?

I don’t know.

I like you a lot, Max. I like you better than anybody else in the whole greenhouse, even the sunflower. You’re my best friend. I just don’t see you in that way.

Okay.

Don’t be mad.

I’m not mad.

Don’t be sad, either.

I can be a little sad, right? It’s okay. I understand. I can’t devour victims as well as you. You need somebody who can be more ferocious.

It’s not that at all. I’m just not looking for anything like that right now. This is all still new to me.

All right.

Promise me that you’re okay.

I’m okay.

Promise me.

I promise.

Dr. Prethorius dragged the shovel along the path, whistling a happy tune.

“Life,” he said, stopping in front of Max. “It’s so filled with unexpected twists and turns. One minute you’re happily planted in the ground, and the next minute you’re tossed aside, ready to make way for Specimen 314.”

No! This couldn’t happen! There were dozens of other plants that were much less advanced than him! He wasn’t that sick. Why would the doctor kill him instead of one of the lesser specimens? It wasn’t fair!

“Of course, that won’t happen to you,” said Dr. Prethorius. “The discarding, I mean. I’ve invented a new acid test, and you’ll be perfect for it!” He giggled. “Acid on the leaves, acid on the leaves, watch them sizzle, watch them fizzle!”

He pressed the shovel into the dirt, then stomped on it. As he scooped out the first shovelful of soil, Max frantically opened and closed his leaves.

“Trying to bite my face off, huh? Naughty, naughty. What am I to do with such a misbehaving plant? Oh, I know. Acid on the leaves, acid on the leaves, watch them disintegrate, watch them …”

He spun around. Jenny sprang back up to her normal position.

“Trying to eat your master, are you? We can’t have that. Oh, no, we can’t have that at all. I realize that I bred you specifically to hunger for human flesh, but you’re not supposed to crave my human flesh, oh, no, that’s not right!”

He pulled the shovel back, preparing for a powerful swing, and then bashed it into Jenny. She bent backward, bounced back up, and then took a second hit with the shovel.

This time she stayed down.

No!

“It’s sad times for the world of science when one’s own creations try to attack him,” Dr. Prethorius muttered. “Sad times indeed. I had such high hopes for Specimen 313. Oh well. Plenty of acid to go around.”

He returned his attention to Max and began to dig out more shovelfuls of soil. His eyes were wild and he flung each scoop of dirt as far as he could, hitting several of the other specimens.

Max had never been so terrified. He opened and closed his leaves, figuring that at this point it didn’t really matter if Dr. Prethorius got mad at him, but the doctor kept himself well out of harm’s way.

Behind him, Jenny lay on the ground, unmoving.

“They all laughed at me, you know,” said the doctor. “When I grew the world’s largest pumpkin, oh, they were filled with praise, but when I carved it into the world’s largest jack-o’-lantern, they called me mad! I ask you, would a madman create a cherry tree with fruits that ooze deadly poison? Would a madman develop blades of grass sharp enough to slice off your fingers?” His digging became even more frantic.

Poor, poor Jenny. She shouldn’t have tried to save him.

Max tilted forward as the next scoop of dirt came from underneath his roots. And then he realized that Jenny was slowly rising up again.

Don’t do it! he said. He’ll kill you! It’s too late for me!

Jenny straightened up completely but did not bend forward. Yet she continued to strain at something.

What are you doing?

Be quiet. I can’t concentrate.

Don’t do anything!

Be quiet!

With the next scoop of dirt, Max tilted forward even farther, at about a forty-five-degree angle from the ground. He wondered how it felt to have acid burn through him.