Tim Waggoner - Lady Ruin

Ksana interrupted. “What else did he you tell you?”

“He plans to reopen the portal to Xoriat and release the daelkyr lord that nearly came through last time. He believes by doing so he’ll be able to transform our world into a paradise-or at least his twisted version of it. He also asked me to join him. I refused. That’s when he set his white-eyes on me.”

“White-eyes?” Ksana asked.

“Those monsters he made.”

Ksana said nothing more, and for several moments both she and Vaddon just looked at Lirra. She looked back and waited for them to make the next move.

After a time, Vaddon said, “Elidyr’s transformation drove him completely insane. How are we to know the same thing didn’t happen to you?” Despite himself, his concern for her came through in his voice.

Lirra wanted to reassure him, but she felt she owed him the truth. “Oh, I’m not as mad as Elidyr. I don’t think he could pretend to be sane if he wanted to. I don’t think he even knows what sane is anymore. But I believe I’m sane. The problem is convincing you that I am.”

Sadness crept into Vaddon’s gaze. “Whatever the state of your mind, you’re not the woman you were.” He nodded toward Lirra’s left arm.

“It’s true that I’ve changed,” she admitted. “It’s a constant struggle for me to maintain control of my symbiont. But I am in control.”

For the moment , the thought-voice said. Lirra ignored it and continued talking.

“Perhaps that’s so,” Vaddon said, a tinge of hope in his voice. “If it is, you’ll let us help you.”

Lirra didn’t like the sound of that. “Help me how?”

“By removing your symbiont,” Ksana said.

Lirra felt a surge of panic from the tentacle whip, and it began uncoiling from around her wrist, determined to defend itself. Vaddon reached for his sword, and Ksana moved her halberd into battle position.

Stop it! Lirra mentally shouted at the symbiont. You go wild now, they’ll be convinced I can’t control you, and they’ll remove you for certain! Calm down and let me play this my way, and there’s a chance you and I will walk out of this room still bonded together!

For an instant, she thought the tentacle whip was going to go ahead and attack anyway. But then it hesitated and slowly, reluctantly, coiled itself about her forearm once more and grew still. It remained on guard, however. If Vaddon and Ksana came to believe she couldn’t control the symbiont, they’d attempt to remove it from her by force-and that would be bad for everyone concerned.

“It’s all right,” Lirra said. “I’ve got it calmed down.”

Vaddon and Ksana looked at her, as if they were deciding whether or not to trust her. Finally, Ksana held her halberd at ease once more, and Vaddon removed his hand from his sword handle. Neither fully relaxed, though, and Lirra didn’t blame them.

“As you can see,” Lirra began, “the symbiont is a little touchy about any talk of our being separated.”

“But the longer we wait-” Ksana said.

“The harder it will be to separate us,” Lirra said. “I know.” While the initial bonding between symbiont and host occurred rapidly, true fusion took time. The more time passed, the more intertwined Lirra and the tentacle whip became, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Eventually, it would be almost impossible to separate them without both suffering severe, perhaps even fatal, trauma. “But I don’t want to be separated.”

“How can you say that?” Vaddon asked in disbelief. “Don’t you want to be free of the creature?”

“I’m being practical,” Lirra said. “The whole point of the symbiont project was to create a new kind of warrior, one who could control an aberration and make use of it as a weapon. I am that warrior, Father.”

“We thought Rhedyn was such a warrior,” Vaddon said, “but in the end he couldn’t resist the corrupting influence of his symbiont and betrayed us all.”

Lirra felt a hand of ice clench around her heart at the mention of Rhedyn’s name, but she pressed on. “Just because he lost his battle against corruption doesn’t mean I will lose mine. Besides, you need me, Father. Who among us is better equipped to face Elidyr than I am? He has to be stopped, and you both know it. The longer we talk, the more time he’ll have to repair the Overmantle and reopen the portal to Xoriat. We need to mount up and ride after him!”

“In your position, I’d probably feel the same way,” Vaddon admitted grudgingly. “But if you cannot fully control your symbiont, then you’re a potential danger to your allies as well as your enemies. Not to mention a danger to yourself. Surely you can see that.”

“Of course I do, Father. I also remember something the battlemasters at Rekkenmark taught us: ‘Courage is risk.’ Yes, there’s a chance I will lose control of my symbiont and become a danger to those around me. There’s also a chance that I’ll be able to use the abilities granted to me by my symbiont to help stop Uncle from unleashing a terrible evil upon our world. I have to try , Father. It’s my duty both as a soldier and as Elidyr’s niece. I don’t know if it’s possible to restore him to sanity, but I do know this: The man he was before the daelkyr touched him would be horrified by what he’s become, and he’d want us to do everything in our power to stop him. I intend to do that, Father, with or without your help.” She smiled gently. “But it would be a whole lot easier with you.”

Vaddon gave Lirra a long appraising look before turning and exchanging glances with Ksana. Then he turned back at Lirra and sighed.

“I never could win an argument with you, even when you were a child.”

Ksana spoke then. “You realize that if we go in search of Elidyr, enough time will pass that there’s a good chance you will become irrevocably bound to your symbiont.”

“I do. The risk is worth it to me. When I became a soldier, I took an oath to defend Karrnath and its people with my life. ‘We water the ground with our blood and our tears-for Karrnath.’ Mother and Hallam took that oath, and they sacrificed their lives to uphold it. How can I shame their memories by turning away from using a weapon that fate has placed in my hands?” She glanced down at her symbiont. “Literally, in my case.”

“Your mother and brother only lost their lives,” Vaddon said. “You might end up sacrificing your mind and your soul.”

Lirra shrugged. “It is a soldier’s lot in life to do that which is required of us. You taught me that, Father.”

“So I did.” Vaddon sighed once more. “Very well. You can accompany us in search of Elidyr, but you must remain in my company, or that of another member of the Outguard, at all times. Is this clear?”

“Are you going to give me a curfew as well?” Lirra asked.

Vaddon scowled, though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “No joking. Do you agree to the terms or not?”

“I agree.” The restriction chafed a bit, but she understood the reason for it. Then a thought occurred to her. “You won’t be able to watch over me all the time, Father, so you might as well assign a baby-sitter to me. How about Osten? He’s a good man, and he understands what its like to host a symbiont. He’ll be less nervous around me than someone else.” And he would be more sympathetic to her as well, something she might be able to use to her advantage later, if need be.

Vaddon thought about it for a moment. “All right. So … how do we go about finding Elidyr?”

“I don’t know what you decided to do about Ranja,” Lirra said, “but she’s sensitive to the presence of symbionts and their hosts. That’s why I hired her to help me track down Elidyr. She might still be willing to do the job for us.”