Joseph Talluto - White Flag of the Dead

“Why do I bother?” I said aloud, not really expecting a response. “What’s the point? It seems like every time we make progress or get ahead, something kicks us back. It’s like something is telling me just find a spot to lay down and die. Your time’s done. Its times like this I wonder why I don’t just pack up Jake and take off for parts unknown and take my chances in a zombie world.”

Sarah didn’t speak for a minute then said “If you want to go, then go. But if you leave, then everything you fought for was for nothing. Everyone you saved won’t matter, and the world you want to take back will never recover. I can’t see you wasting that much time.”

I smiled inwardly and returned the squeeze and gave Sarah a grateful look, then went downstairs. Sarah followed me down and we went out towards the two figures on the grass.

Kristen was sitting down, hugging her knees and crying. She wasn’t holding her friend, and it was easy to see that it was killing her not to comfort Chelsea. Chelsea was sitting cross-legged a few feet away, holding a bloody rag to a bite on her shoulder. She was staring blankly into space and I could only imagine what was going through her head. Her weapons and gear had already been removed, and she looked so small sitting there.

Kristen saw me and Sarah walk up and starting crying harder, knowing what was going to happen. Sarah knelt down to comfort Kristen as I bent down to one knee in front of Chelsea.

“You’re here to kill me, aren’t you?” Chelsea said without emotion. She never looked at me, she just stared down at the ground.

“Yes.” I was never one to sugar-coat things. That trait used to drive the parents in my district nuts once upon a time.

She looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes. There were dark circles around her eyes and I could see her starting to sweat. The virus was moving fast. It was going to become dangerous to be around her in an hour or so. “I can feel it killing me.” Chelsea said. “It feels like fire is creeping towards my head.” She looked down at her arm. “I can’t feel my hand anymore.”

“Whenever you’re ready. I can wait.” I said, motioning Sarah to take Kristen away. They both said goodbye to Chelsea and Sarah had tears in her eyes as well.

“Why me?” Chelsea asked. “What did I do to deserve to die?” She held back a cough.

“You lived.” I said. “That was enough. Eventually we all die, and sometimes we get to choose how we go out. Sometimes we don’t.” I pointed to her shoulder. “I hope you finished the bastard that got you.”

Chelsea actually smiled a little. “I smashed his head so much it actually came off his shoulders.”

I smiled myself. “Good girl.”

“John?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t blame Duncan. It wasn’t his fault. I didn’t check the bathroom the way you taught us. I thought I was ready, I thought…” Chelsea ran out of steam and hung her head.

“Don’t blame yourself. It was just bad luck. Next time it could be me.” I tried to be reassuring, although inside I was seething.

“No. You can’t die. They need you…” Chelsea’s voice was fading and she was starting to slump over. I had never heard of a case happening this fast, she had been bitten barely an hour ago. I moved back and watched as Chelsea slumped over, closing her eyes forever as the little girl we knew and cared for.

I waited, and while I waited I raged inwardly at what had happened. She was supposed to live, the children were supposed to live. I again wondered at what kind of God would allow this to happen to the children.

I stood by Chelsea for another hour, just letting the cold blow past my face. I watched the brown grass stir around her still face, knowing the virus was hard at work inside her. Her skin became pale as the blood drained away from the surface. Her bite wound looked blackish, and I could only imagine what kind of pain she was going through. Dark, spidery lines webbed out from the bite, indicating the spread of the infection. The thickest lines went to her neck and head, where they disappeared under the skin.

One hour and twenty five minutes after she died, Chelsea opened her eyes again. Her head lifted off the ground and she painfully got to her feet. She turned her head slowly, and caught sight of me. Her lips peeled back from her mouth, revealing her teeth, and she raised her arms towards me.

I raised my SIG, and with a final “Good bye, Chelsea.” I shot her between the eyes. She crumpled to the ground again, and I holstered my pistol with a sigh.

I reached down and grabbed her ankle, and unceremoniously dragged her over to a field where we had burned other zombies. I placed her in the center of the burn ring, poured some gasoline from a can we had stashed there, and lit her funeral pyre.

I watched the flames for a while, then turned my back on the scene, heading back to the building. Sarah was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked carefully, reading the look in my eyes.

“Nothing much to talk about. She got bit, she got infected, and she died. That’s all there is. That’s all there ever is these days.” I was suddenly tired and I wanted to see my son.

Sarah and I went back to our condo and I thanked Jason and Lisa for watching Jake for so long. They said they didn’t mind, it was good practice for when they had children. I didn’t say it, but I wanted to ask why in hell they would want to bring a child into this messed-up world.

I took off my gear and weapons, and sat on the floor with Jakey. It was nearly time for his dinner, and I was just enjoying some quiet time, something I hadn’t done in a while. The sky was darkening quickly, as it was prone to do in the winter, and the waning orange light lit up the condo in a light amber glow. I lit a couple of candles and placed them in their holders

Jake pulled on my pants leg, and I picked him up. I carried him to the window and together we watched the sun set and I tried to ignore the dying fires of the tragedy of the day.

Sarah joined me a few minutes later, dressed simply in a sweat shirt and jeans. Jake saw her and leaned towards her, his way of letting me know he wanted to be held by someone else. Sarah smiled at Jake and took him from my arms, shaking her head at him and giving him Eskimo kisses on his nose, making him giggle.

We stood there for a while and it was Sarah who broke the silence.

“I was nineteen when I had my daughter Julia. She was Chelsea’s age when my husband killed her.” She said.

“I’m sorry.” was all I could say.

“Don’t get me wrong.” Sarah corrected. “I don’t blame him. The part of him that made him my husband was dead and gone, replaced by a mindless killing drone. I can blame the virus, but how far will that get me? The point is, we go on. We take what joy we can,” Sarah emphasized this by tickling Jake and making him laugh, “and we take our sorrows as they come. But we can’t dwell on what was, since that doesn’t help us with what is.”

I thought about that for a second, than put my arm around her and Jake. I didn’t say anything, and judging by the way Sarah leaned into me, I didn’t have to.

Our reverie was broken with the arrival of a caravan of cars and trucks.

“What the hell?” I said, belting on my SIG and knife and putting my coat on to head downstairs. “Tommy and Duncan must have found some people and brought them back.”

Sarah looked out and nodded. “I see their vehicle. I’ll stay with Jake and feed him.”

“Thanks.” I said and I gave her a quick hug to let her know I was disappointed our moment had been interrupted. Her smile let me know she was disappointed as well.

I headed down to the parking lot area where seven vehicles came pulling in. Tommy and Duncan came piling out of their car and headed directly for me. I stared hard at Duncan and he kept his eyes averted, knowing I was ticked off at him, despite what Chelsea had said.