Richard Laymon - The Traveling Vampire Show

“Rabies shots,” I added.

A disgusted look on his face, he said, “Yeah, I know.”

“Are you all right?” I asked Lee.

“I’m fine.” She spoke as if everything were perfectly ordinary. “Where’s Slim?”

“Waiting in her car.”

“What for?”

“Just… she didn’t want to… where were you? We were over at your house and…”

Nodding, she said, “I got your note.”

“We thought something had happened to you.” I almost got through the sentence before my voice broke and tears again filled my eyes.

“Oh, God,” Lee murmured. She leaned against me and put a hand on my back. “I was fine, honey. I just went out, that’s all. I never expected you to show up so early.”

Sounding amused, Rusty said, “Dwighty here, he had you kidnapped and murdered.”

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded.

“Your truck was still there,” Rusty explained. “Same with your purse.”

“I… thought Stryker got you.”

“Jeez.” She rubbed my back. “I’m so sorry. I just went down to the river, that’s all. It’s such a wonderful, windy night. I sat out on the end of the dock to enjoy the weather and have myself a little cocktail.”

“My God,” I said. I’d almost looked for her there. “But the screen door was locked.”

“The back screen? Was it?” She frowned and shrugged. “I must’ve gone out the front.” She was silent for a few seconds, then nodded. “Yeah, I did go out the front Sat on the stoop for a few minutes before I got the idea to see what the river was doing.”

“Man,” Rusty said, and chuckled.

Lee rubbed my back some more. “I’m so sorry, honey. I had no idea….”

“That’s okay,” I said. “We shouldn’t have shown up so early.” Why had we gone to her house so early? It took me a moment to remember. Then I explained, “We were worried about you. That’s why we didn’t wait till ten-thirty. I was afraid Stryker was gonna try something….”

“Because I gave him that check?”

A few other reasons, too—but Bitsy, not Stryker, had turned out to be the culprit behind most of them. I didn’t want to get into all that with Lee.

“I guess it was mostly because of the check,” I told her.

“I pay with checks all the time,” she said.

“But Stryker’s so creepy.”

She smiled gently. “Oh, I don’t know.”

“He is.”

“He’s a pretty bad guy,” Rusty affirmed.

“And he… he likes you.”

“That’s not so terrible. He probably wouldn’t have sold us the tickets if he hadn’t liked me.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Dwight thinks he’s got the hots for you.”

“He does,” I said.

Looking mildly amused, Lee said, “Well, that may be so, but he never tried anything. I haven’t even spoken to him since you and I were out here.”

I stared at her.

“And he hasn’t spoken to me. I did see him selling tickets on my way in, but he looked really busy so I didn’t bother him. And he didn’t bother me. I don’t think he even noticed me. I figured he must’ve already let you guys in…. So why isn’t Slim here?”

“It’s her time of the month,” Rusty proclaimed.

I couldn’t believe my ears. I wanted to kill him.

“She got it all of a sudden on our way over.”

“Rusty!” I gasped.

He leaned forward and smiled at me. “It’s all right, pal. I’m sure Lee knows all about this sorta thing.”

“Does Slim need… anything?” Lee asked. She seemed a little flustered, herself.

“You mean like a tampon?”

Lee nodded.

“Nah. She had some in her glove compartment. She walked off into the trees to put one on. Dwight and me, we waited in the car so as not to embarrass her.”

If Slim ever heard about this, I wouldn’t have to kill Rusty—she would beat me to it.

“So where is she now?”

“Back in the car, waiting for us.”

Lee looked at me, frowning. Apparently, she wasn’t completely buying Rusty’s tale.

I shrugged.

She gave Rusty a perplexed look.

“You can’t go to a vampire show when you’ve got your period,” Rusty said, sounding exasperated by the need to explain something so obvious.

Lee looked at him as if he were nuts. She said, “Huh?”

“A vampire show? Your period? Blood! Get it?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Lee said.

Rusty raised his right hand. “I kid you not.”

“Jesus H. Christ,” Lee muttered.

Rusty’s eyes bulged. “It’s not your time of the month, is it?”

She choked out a laugh. “As if I’m going to discuss that with you.”

“Well, if it is…”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?”

Though the loud speakers hissed and crackled, I knew the voice. It belonged to Julian Stryker.

For the first time since entering the stadium, I turned my eyes to the arena. There stood Stryker on top of a canvas object that looked like some sort of large, rectangular tent. About ten feet high, maybe twenty feet long and wide, it took up most of the arena. The wind shook the canvas walls with a sound that reminded me of sailboats on the river.

It blew Stryker’s long black hair and fluttered his shirt. His loose black shirt, half unbuttoned, gleamed in the stadium lights. His black leather pants looked as if they’d been oiled. He held a microphone in one hand, and turned slowly like the ringmaster of a circus. As he turned, the microphone in his right hand picked up the jangle of his spurs.

“WELCOME TO THE TRAVELING VAMPIRE SHOW!”

Some polite applause came from the audience.

“MY NAME IS JULIAN STRYKER. I AM THE OWNER OF THE SHOW AND YOUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES FOR TONIGHT’S EXTRAVAGANZA.”

Lee nudged me, grinned, and said, “Extravaganza!”

“TONIGHT,YOU’LL FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE WORLD’S ONE AND ONLY KNOWN VAMPIRE IN CAPTIVITY… A DIRECT DESCENDENT OF THE GREAT COUNT DRACULA HIMSELF… THE GORGEOUS AND DEADLY VALERIA!”

More applause, along with some whispers and titters.

Stryker raised his arms for silence.

When the audience quieted down, he continued, “NOT LONG AGO, VALERIA ROAMED THE WILD REACHES OF THE TRANSYLVANIAN ALPS, FALLING UPON PEASANTS AT NIGHT, SINKING HER TEETH INTO THEIR THROATS AND DRAINING THE BLOOD FROM THEIR BODIES. AT MY RANCH IN ARIZONA, I KNEW NOTHING OF THESE STRANGE, UNGODLY MURDERS. NOT UNTIL THE NEWS ARRIVED THAT MY OWN UNCLE AND HIS FAMILY HAD BEEN VICIOUSLY SLAIN IN THEIR HOME NEAR BUDAPEST. LEARNING OF THIS, I UNDERTOOK AN EXPEDITION TO BRING THEIR SLAYER TO JUSTICE.

“FOR THREE LONG YEARS, MY TEAM AND I SEARCHED FOR THE VAMPIRE KNOWN AS VALERIA. GUIDED BY REPORTS OF EACH NEW ATROCITY, WE SLOWLY CLOSED IN ON HER. AT LAST, WE TRACKED VALERIA TO HER MOUNTAIN LAIR. WE ENTERED AFTER DAYLIGHT AND FOUND HER SLEEPING—AS IF DEAD—INSIDE HER COFFIN.

“THOUGH I HAD EVERY INTENTION OF PUTTING VALERIA TO DEATH, I FOUND MYSELF OVERWHELMED BY HER BEAUTY AND WAS UNABLE TO PERFORM THE DREADFUL TASK. STILL, SHE HAD TO BE STOPPED. I COULD NOT ALLOW HER TO CONTINUE HER RUTHLESS CAMPAIGN OF MURDER. AT LAST, WITH THE AID OF A WISE MAN WELL VERSED IN THE ARTS OF MESMERISM, I GAINED CONTROL OVER VALERIA’S MIND AND THUS ENSLAVED HER TO MY WILL.

“AND SO I REMOVED HER FROM HER NATIVE TRANSYLVANIA AND BROUGHT HER TO MY OWN COUNTRY… OUR COUNTRY, YOURS AND MINE, AMERICA.”

Good patriots, most of the people in the bleachers cheered and applauded.

When the noise subsided, Stryker continued his speech. “UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO HER BLOOD-THIRSTY NATURE, VALERIA IS NOT A WELCOME GUEST IN OUR LAND. LIKE THE WANDERING JEW, SHE MUST FOREVER CONTINUE HER TRAVELS, NEVER STOPPING LONG ENOUGH TO REST, NEVER FINDING A HOME. AND SO WE ARE HERE TONIGHT, PAUSING BRIEFLY ON OUR JOURNEY TO PROVIDE YOU GOOD FOLKS WITH A CHANCE TO VIEW AN ACTUAL VAMPIRE… VIEW HER AND MORE!”