Richard Kadrey: Devil in the Dollhouse

“For one thing he likes power.”

“So do you, if you were Lucifer.”

“Touche. The difference is that I had doubts about the argument with Father. He didn’t. When a group of us tried to go back, well, you see the result.”

The little gears clank in my brain. I look out the window.

“The roadkill that attacked my men. They’re Hellions, aren’t they?”

Maleephas nods.

“The ones who wanted to return with me so we could throw ourselves at God’s feet, hoping to receive his infinite mercy. What they received was what you saw in the grove. I received this prison.”

I take out a Malediction. Light it and offer it to him. He takes it and sniffs, hands it back to me.

“It smells awful. Is that what you do in Pandemonium these days? Pollute yourselves with that?”

“We have all kinds of pollution. You should try Aqua Regia. Or there might be some unicorn salad left in the truck if you want to try it.”

He shakes his head.

“Such a stupid world we made together. It was going to rival Heaven but it turned into more ruin.”

“You know what’s funny?” I say. “Guess where Samael is these days.”

“I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite for games.”

“He’s back in Heaven. He had doubts about the argument too. At least the part about the war. He’s back upstairs trying to make it up to the old man.”

A smile spreads across Maleephas’s face. He leans against the wall and chuckles.

“And it only took how many eons and another fool to play Lucifer.”

I puff the Malediction and think.

“Maybe it’s not as bad as you think. I thought Samael was playing me for a chump when he blew town and left me this job. Maybe meeting you is what’s it’s all been about. Maybe he couldn’t face you or maybe he knew you wouldn’t want to see him. Maybe I’m here to blow up the myth. Let you out and remind everyone what really happened here.”

He turns his eyes toward me.

“Do you think he’s really that compassionate?”

The Malediction burns my throat in a good way.

“Weirder things have happened.”

Maleephas comes over to me, using his hand to fan away the smoke. He whispers.

“You know what I think? I think he did send you. But not for the kind of compassion you mean.”

I feel the knife slip under the bottom of the armor. Maleephas drives it in two, three times, twisting the blade and holding it in place.

“I think he sent you here as a sacrifice. He’s gone and is giving Hell back to me. I’ll burn Pandemonium to the ground. Henoch will be the new Hell and this will be Maleephas Lucifer’s palace.”

He pulls out the blade and pushes it back up under the sleeve of his robe. I fall to my knees. He kicks me. It is a small thing but already bleeding and stabbed, it still hurts.

“If it truly is so easy for Father to forgive Samael, then he was right and I was wrong. We’ll prove them both wrong by creating a brand new Underworld. The hills outside of Henoch are rich in gold and silver. We’ll build an entire city of precious metals, so bright it will blind the archangels and over time they’ll come to worship us.”

“Fuck you, Mally puss. You’re as dumb as the twerps that fall for your picture show. You’ve started believing your own fantasies.”

He stands over me.

“Whatever Samael’s intentions, I’m about to become Lucifer again. The armor protects you but not from everything. This athame is quite potent, even against Lucifer.”

“I know. I stabbed him with one myself.”

He brightens.

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.”

“One thing,” I say and swing out with the black blade. I never put it away, just held it back against my arm like a polite, stupid son of a bitch. The knife catches Maleephas just above the right ankle. He falls over backward, leaving his foot behind and spouting black blood all over the floor.

I grab a set of the window bars and pull myself up. As soon as I’m upright, Maleephas throws his knife. I’m too hurt to get out of the way. The blade kicks up a spark when it hits Lucifer’s armor and bounces into the ceiling. I extend the na’at into a spear and return the old man’s favor by pegging him to the floor through the gut.

“You’re not Lucifer. I am,” he says.

“The difference between us is I don’t want the job. Normally I’d offer it to you but that little trick with the knife was annoying, so all you get is a big steaming plate of fuck-all.”

“What are you going to do to me?”

He looks scared, which is pretty funny because I can barely stand up. Just to keep up appearances I drop the Malediction by his head and crush it out with my boot, letting my heel graze the side of his face.

“Maybe I’ll just leave you there like a butterfly stuck in a display case. Bring bus tours out to see you. Print maps to the star’s home and put your face on mugs and T-shirts. How does that sound?”

“Kill me. If you have any mortal mercy left in you, kill me. Or are you fully Lucifer now? Should I worship you and beg your indulgence? Please, great and awful Beast of the Abyss, give me the gift of oblivion.”

“Shut up. I’m not going to kill you. But I’m burning this place to the ground. I’m leaving you and your knife here. You can crawl away into a hole in Henoch. You can burn here or you can kill yourself. It doesn’t mean jack to me. But I’m not doing Samael’s dirty work or yours.”

I pull the na’at from his stomach. Maleephas groans and rolls onto his side. I cut through the bars over the window with the black blade and crawl outside. It hurts so much I almost faint when I drop to the ground. I cut a long strip of cloth from my coat and press it against the wound in my belly. I couldn’t fight off a Vorosdok kitten right now but I don’t think I’ll have to. The few pieces of roadkill still alive are laid out on the ground like a truck ran over them. I think when I put the na’at into Maleephas the Vorosdok went down with him.

It’s quicker down the hill than it was up. Not running for your life through an army of brainless Hellion zombies will do that. When I reach the nearest Unimog, I pull enough bodies out of the cab that I can get into the driver’s seat and start the engine. I head up the hill, steering the truck over every Vorosdok body I can see. I stop the truck outside Henoch Breach’s front doors and a couple of corpses get to their feet. I pull the na’at. The dead men are Geryon and Elephant Man.

“Playing possum? How did you get outside?”

Geryon shakes his head.

“I have no idea. After you disappeared, we ran down corridors at random. I don’t know what happened to the others. I think we were just lucky.”

“Well, get your lucky asses over here. Take a couple of jerry cans of gas and toss them into the Breach.”

Geryon frowns.

“Why?”

“Because I met him. Maleephas. I know the whole story.”

Geryon walks over to me. I hand him one of the heavy cans.

“You met him? He’s still here?”

“Who do you think gave me this?”

I lean back so he can see my wound.

“Since you knew he was there, that means you know the story you told me is total horseshit.”

He shakes his head.

“No, it isn’t. It’s a myth. You have no idea how ugly the early days were here. We needed to forget all this and when we did, we needed something to replace it.”

The old man in the basement had it right. Give people what they want.

“It’s over now. This place and the story. Both of you. Toss those cans or I’ll do it and toss you in with them.”

Geryon and Elephant Man push open the doors and throw the open cans inside. I pull a couple of road flares from storage, spark them, and throw them into the dark. The gas explodes, knocking me flat on my ass. Elephant Man helps me to my feet and walks me to the truck. He pulls out the rest of the bodies from the cab and helps me into the passenger seat. Geryon gets in and sits on the little jump seat between us as Elephant pulls the rest of the roadkill and dead soldiers out and leaves them on the road.