Christopher Golden - A Winter of Ghosts

"Ren?" Miho said,putting all of her anguish at his appearance into that single syllable. Shehurried into the room and embraced him, leaving Kara and Sakura to watch.

Ren seemed awkward with the hug,and when Miho stepped back, neither of the other girls attempted the samegreeting. As they had agreed before paying this visit, Sakura stayed at thedoor, halfway in and halfway out. They weren't supposed to close it, but theydid not want to be troubled by the kind of gossip that eavesdroppers mightinspire.

Kara leaned against Ren's desk."Your parents left?"

"For now," Ren said."They wanted me to go home with them, but I told them I would be allright."

"Will you?" Miho asked,perching on the end of his bed. Behind her glasses, her eyes were wide withsympathy.

Ren sank down beside her,seeming almost grateful not to have to stand. "I don't know."

Kara glanced at Sakura and sawhesitation and regret in the other girl's eyes. She felt the same emotionscreeping up on her and shoved them away. Hachiro's life hung in the balance;they couldn't afford any more hesitation.

"You know why we're here,"Kara said.

Miho shot her an admonishinglook. "Don't be so cold."

"Ironic choice of words."Kara kept her focus on Ren. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk aboutthis — "

"I would if I couldremember," Ren snapped, but he couldn't meet her gaze for more than asecond, glancing down at the floor.

Kara nodded, took a deep breath,and forged on. "Okay, I get that you don't remember exactly what happened.But I'm sorry, Ren. I just can't believe there isn't anything, not a singledetail, lodged in your brain that would help us. Hachiro's been up there twonights now. This'll be the third. Unless you tell me he's dead — "

"I don't know," Rensaid, voice full of despair.

" — then I have tobelieve he's alive. And that means we can find him. But you're the only personwho can help us with that and you say you don't remember anything." Sheheld up a hand to forestall any more arguments or denials. "There's moregoing on here than you know."

As she told him what theythought they knew about Yuki-Onna, his eyes grew wide. She could see fear inthem, but also hope, and she knew he wanted to talk to her.

"What aren't you tellingus, Ren?"

Even Miho looked at himdifferently. She reached for his hand but he edged away from her on the bed.

"Does that make youremember something? Did you see her?" Miho asked.

Ren pressed his lips togetherlike a child and shook his head. Kara truly cared for him — he was herfriend — but she couldn't take it anymore.

"Damn it, Ren!" sheshouted in English.

"Sssshhhh!" Sakurasaid from the door, frowning.

Kara took a calming breath butit only succeeded in quieting her anger. Her eyes began to fill but she refusedto cry, wiping the moisture away.

"He's going to die!" she said, biting off each word as she returned to Japanese. "I love him. He'syour friend. And he's going to die. You say you don't remember, well I think you'relying. I don't know why, but you are. And I'll tell you something else. Otherpeople are going to die, too."

Kara fingered the round stonethat hung on a leather thong around her neck and noticed Miho doing the same. Sherubbed it between her thumb and forefinger.

"We're protected for now,but Yuki-Onna is looking for us. Sora's dead. And she'll keep killing until thewinter snows are gone, all because you won't tell us where Hachiro is. If he'sdead, that's on you. And everyone else who dies. . well, you'll have theirblood on your hands, too."

"Kara, that's not — "Miho began.

"Stop it!" Renshouted. "I can't!"

"Can't what?" Karademanded.

Ren buried his face in hishands.

"We can stop it, Ren, butwe need Hachiro to do that. We need everyone who was there when Kyuketsuki putthe curse on us. Mr. Yamato is getting Ume here, but all of it's for nothing ifwe can't find Hachiro, alive, and get him down off of that mountain."

He looked up through spreadfingers. "How? How can you stop it?"

Miho spoke up, telling him aboutKubo, the cloud wanderer, and the promises the monk had made to them.

Ren looked sick. He shook hishead.

"Maybe he really doesn'tknow," Sakura said, though she didn't sound convinced.

Kara stared at Ren. "Heknows."

As handsome — beautiful,really — as Ren was, at that moment he looked like a broken angel,tarnished with misery. He seemed about to speak and she saw the truth in hiseyes, but it never made the journey to his lips. Slowly, he shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

The tragedy in his voice did herin. Kara raised a shaking hand to cover her mouth to stop her from screaming athim. Her eyes filled with tears that began to slide down her cheeks and sheturned away, headed for the door, trying to find some way to accept the factthat Hachiro would die if he hadn't already, and that the curse on her and herfriends would never be lifted.

Sakura stopped her at the door,pulled Kara into her arms, and all Kara could do was try not to make any noisewhile she cried. A moment later Miho joined them without another word to Ren. Theystarted to file out into the corridor.

Over the internal roar of herown despair, Kara barely heard Ren's voice.

"She let me go," hesaid.

Miho grabbed Kara's wrist andstopped her. It was a moment before it all registered, and Kara turned backinto the room to face him. Ren sat on the bed, seeming to have shrunk in size. Hewiped away tears.

"She?" Kara said.

"You mean Yuki-Onna?" Sakura asked in a hushed whisper of disbelief.

When Ren nodded and stared,shamefaced, at the floor, Sakura reached out and closed the door. Miho openedher mouth to protest but Kara shook her head and the girl said nothing. Thiswasn't a time for rules.

"Tell us, please,"Kara said, swiping at her own tears with the back of her hand.

Ren shuddered. "If I do,she'll. ." He paused, and then a determined look came into his eyes andhe looked up, meeting Kara's gaze fully for the first time. "The storiesdo not do her justice. She is awful. The cold isn't just in your skin or yourbones, it's down inside you, in your thoughts.

"She killed Sora rightaway. Hachiro and I saw it. But we had looked into her eyes and we couldn'tmove. Frozen, but not. . not the way she froze Sora. Then she took us awayin the storm, in the wind, tossed us in the air like we were puppets, and for atime I don't think we were anywhere except in the storm. It felt as if thestorm wasn't even a part of this world."

He held his hands up as if insurrender and gave a strained laugh.

"I know how that sounds."His smile was something awful. "But it's true. She said Sora's life — his death, I mean — made her strong. It was as if somehow she hadsatisfied some hunger through killing him. But with us. . it was like wewere pets or. . or toys. She said she would take us, too, eventually if shegrew hungry enough or bored enough."

His voice cracked on those lastwords and he took a deep breath, looking as though he might be sick.

"I shouldn't be doing this,"he said. "Shouldn't be talking about it."

Confused, Kara went and knelt infront of him, taking his hands in her own.

"You got away, Ren,"she said, searching his eyes. "Was Hachiro still alive when you escaped?"

"Yes. But you are notlistening. I'm trying to tell you that I did not escape. Yuki-Onna let me go."

Kara sat back on her haunches,staring at him.

"She what?" Sakurasaid.

"Why would she do that?" Miho asked.

Ren stared at his hands as if hewere so ashamed he could not even lift his eyes. "She said I was toobeautiful to kill," he said bitterly. "That eventually she would betoo tempted and she would devour my spirit, and I would be dead and she wouldregret that. So she let me go."

"But she kept Hachiro,"Kara whispered.