Brian Keene: Jack's Magic Beans

Angie wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

“That’s kind of weird,” Marcel continued. “Right? That all three of us would be taking Prozac?”

“Not really,” Jack said. “There are lots of people on Prozac these days, dude. The doctors prescribe it like candy.”

“Yeah, but to have three people out of four on it? That just seems odd to me.”

“Four,” Sammi mumbled.

“What’s that?”

“Four people on Prozac. I take it, too.”

“You’re depressed?” Jack asked.

Sammi shook her head.

Marcel let go of Angie’s shoulder. “OCD?”

“No.” Sammi sighed, pausing before she spoke again. “Bulimia.”

“I knew it,” Jack said, then stopped, realizing he’d blurted it out. His mouth hung open. His cheeks reddened with shame.

“Knew what?” Sammi snapped.

“Just… well, some of the guys back in high school said that you were anorexic. That was why you were so skinny. Phil, too. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You should be sorry. And I’m not anorexic. I’m bulimic. There’s a difference between the two, you know. And I’m getting help. That’s why I’m on Prozac.”

“So… you throw up after you eat?” Now that the rumor had been confirmed, Jack was honestly curious.

“No. Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but I’m an exercise bulimic. I used to binge—I mean, eat— and then I’d exercise my ass off. At first, I thought it was a healthy, competitive way to lose weight. I had lots of energy—like I’d just chugged a can of Red Bull. It felt good, you know? When the endorphin rush kicked in, I wasn’t depressed anymore. Didn’t feel bad about myself. And most importantly, I looked toned. But I wasn’t toned. I was just building muscle while I dehydrated myself to burn off the fat. My skin clung more closely to my muscles. People tried talking to me about it, but I wouldn’t listen. Finally, I got real sick. Passed out at a rave. My doctor prescribed Prozac to curb my desire to binge, since food is a form of comfort. I’ve been taking that and going to counseling for six weeks now.”

“Six weeks,” Jack said. “Must be nice. I’ve been on Prozac most of my life.”

“That’s dangerous,” Marcel warned.

“I know. But the doctor said if it’s working, then we should stick with it.”

“Maybe you’re better off,” Marcel admitted. “There is a crazy side effect when you stop taking it. At least there was for me. I got horrible vertigo—like someone just pulled the floor out from under me. It lasted for a couple weeks, totally at random. At least you didn’t have to go through that.”

“I started taking it when I was ten,” Jack said. “I didn’t want to at first. Thought it meant I was crazy or something. My Mom coaxed me, though. She used to call the pills ‘magic beans’. You know, like in Jack and the Beanstalk ?”

The other nodded.

“She said my depression was like a big giant, and if I took my magic beans, then I’d have a way to defeat it. The doctor liked that. In fact, he liked it so much that I think he started using it on other kids, too. He told me to visualize the beanstalk as a line to recovery and wellness. My cure was waiting at the top of the beanstalk—a castle in the clouds. He was always spouting psychobabble bullshit like that. Weird old geezer. I don’t go to him anymore, but my new doctor has me on Prozac, too.”

Marcel chuckled, then broke into laughter. It echoed in the freezer, bouncing off the walls. The others stared at him in shock, dismayed by his bizarre reaction.

“Dude,” Jack whispered. “Stop it or they’ll hear you.”

Still laughing, Marcel put his hands over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Asshole,” Sammi pouted. “You’re just as fucked up as we are. What gives you the right to laugh at Jack?”

Marcel paused, catching his breath. “I’m not laughing at him. Seriously.”

“Well, then what’s so funny?”

“Us.” He gestured at them. “We’re all on Prozac. We’re stigmatized by society because of it. Think about it. Everybody in town goes fucking insane, and the only four people left alive and apparently immune are people who all suffer from some form of mental illness. Everybody else used to think we were crazy. Suddenly, we ain’t so fucking crazy anymore. We’re the sane ones.”

Marcel giggled again. Angie smiled. After a moment, Sammi did, too. Both women began to laugh. Jack didn’t say anything. His expression was serious. After a moment, the others noticed.

“What’s wrong?” Angie asked. “Did you hear something?”

“No,” he whispered, “but I think I figured out why we’re still alive—why we’re immune to whatever made everyone else go nuts.”

“Why?”

He grinned. “The magic beans.”

All three of them stared at him.

“Prozac,” he explained. “Remember? I said my Mom used to call them magic beans?”

“Yeah,” Sammi said. “What about it.”

“It’s the one thing we all have in common. We all took Prozac today.”

“I didn’t,” Marcel reminded him. “I’d run out.”

“Yeah, but you still take it regularly. We all do. And I bet there were other people out there who were on it, too. Think about it. Was everybody crazy?”

“I saw a little boy,” Sammi said, her voice trembling. “He asked me to help him, but before I could…” She trailed off, unable to finish.

“I saw people, too,” Angie confirmed. “They seemed fine—scared, like me.”

Marcel nodded. “Same here.”

“I bet they were like us,” Jack said. “Bet they were on Prozac.”

“You don’t know that,” Angie said. “There are too many variables. Dosage. Type. Things like that.”

Jack shrugged. “I’m on pills. What about the rest of you?”

“Pills,” Angie said.

“Liquid.” Sammi shivered. “But it can’t be the Prozac. That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It makes about as much sense as everybody else suddenly turning into homicidal fucking maniacs. Didn’t you ever have Mrs. Repasky’s biology class?”

“No.” Sammi shook her head. “I had Mr. Jackson. He’s gross. He was always biting his fingernails and then spitting them all over the floor while he talked.”

“Yeah, I never liked him.”

“Me either.”

“Mrs. Repasky,” Jack said, “told us about how diseases change over time. With each generation, some new and terrible disease pops up. The Black Death, leprosy, cholera, cancer, Aids. That flu strain that killed all those people after World War One. All of these illnesses came out of nowhere, with no warning, and infected millions. So what if mental illnesses suddenly started doing the same thing? What if they mutated?”

Angie snorted. “You’re saying that all those people were infected by some bizarre new psychosis?”

“Maybe,” Jack said. “And we’re immune to it because of the Prozac.”

Sammi shook her head. “Is that even possible?”

“Shit.” Jack shrugged. “How the hell do I know? I’m just a stock boy.”

“I hope my family is okay.” Sammi’s nose had turned from red to white, and tiny ice crystals clung to her eyelashes. “I promised my little sister I’d help her with her homework tonight. She’s in eighth grade.”

Without warning, she started to cry again.

“Try not to think about it,” Marcel said. “Ain’t nothing we can do for them right now.”

Angie frowned. “That’s pretty cold, don’t you think?”

“No,” Marcel said. “It’s not cold. Just practical. I got people at home, too. And I know they’d want me to stay alive.”

“Cold…” Sammi sniffled. “It’s so cold in here.”