Gary A. Braunbeck - Cages and Those Who Hold the Keys

“‘It’s the only way you can find out,’” he said to me. I knew he was right. I took the hammer from him and turned it around so the claw was facing out. He turned and knelt down in front of me like he was praying. I put my free hand on the back of his head to steady myself because I was so scared, but he said, ‘Don’t be afraid,’ and I wasn’t. It was all there waiting for me, all the ugly little guilts that had found their way into the tapestries.

“I took a breath, pulled back with the hammer, started crying, and swung down at the back of his skull. I remember thinking his head made an interesting sound when it split open. You know the sound a watermelon makes after you cut it down the center and then pry the halves apart? It’s not really a pop or a crunch, but something wet in between the two? That’s what it sounded like when I opened his skull. Then I had to put the hammer down and pry the halves apart with my hands.

“God, it was a mess , but it was worth it. They all spread out before me; all their tapestries with all that unremembered, disfiguring guilt. And I fixed them, Marian, I did it. I wallowed in the ugliness, then took it away, removed it from all of their tapestries until all that was left were the whole, finished, beautiful tessellations of love and memory and happiness. And the things I found out! Did you know Mom once had an affair she never told anyone about? It was with some old friend from her days in the Childrens’ Home. It lasted three weeks and then the guy moved away. Afterward she had these little fantasies about him, which is why she and Dad seemed to have such a new marriage after their twenty-fifth anniversary. Dad never suspected, and wherever he is now, he’ll never know because I’ve got that memory, that guilt, right up here in my mind and in my heart. It’s part of my tapestry now and can’t touch them where they are.

“Oh, and Dad. You know why he always had a problem with his mother? Bitch used to beat him with her shoes when he was a little boy. High heeled shoes. Just take them off and pound at his back until it looked like Swiss cheese. Poor Aunt Boots used to stick him back together afterward and then they’d hug each other and hide in their room, scared to death she’d bust in with a ball bat and kill them both. And everyone wondered why he didn’t cry at her funeral. But the thing is, he never blamed her— he always felt guilty because he was such a bad boy and got his mother mad enough to do that to him! Well, he doesn’t have that anymore, I’ve got it! And I hope his mother is burning in Hell right now, I really do.

“I can’t tell you what it felt like, taking it away like that. It feels awful now— the worst thing I’ve ever felt— but at that moment, up to my eyes in it, it was the greatest sensation I’ve ever known. But when it was over, Joseph’s body flopped over onto its back and spoke to me. The two halves of his face kind of squirmed like worms, but I could understand him just fine, and he told me about you, about how it had to be like this. Then he fell back down and stopped moving.

“I wanted to call someone and tell them all about, how miraculous the whole thing was, but I knew if I called Aunt Boots or Laura they’d have the Twinkie Mobile over here in no time flat, so I did the next best thing; ;I walked over to the Western Union office and sent you a telegram. I knew where your show was so it was easy. It was always great of you to send us your schedule, really it was.

“And here you are. It’s great to see you, Marian. I knew this would just bring us closer together. I just knew it.”

Marian stared the man standing across from her. Closer together ? She’d never felt so distanced from anyone or anything in her life. Or afraid. So afraid.

“So,” Alan said in calm, conversational tone. “How’s the show going?”

Marian blinked. Small talk? How-are-you?-chit-chat? Now? Hey, Sis, there’s a mangled body in the basement and by the way how are things with your career?

“Okay,” said Alan, “since you don’t feel like playing catch-up, what say you go find out for yourself.” He nodded at Jack, who began moving Marian toward the basement door.

“Turn on the light, and go down there. What do you say, Sis? If you really want to know if I’ve gone the Permanent Bye-Bye, that’s all you have to do.”

There was no threat in his eyes.

“I love you, Alan.”

“You keep saying that. Look, no one’s going to hurt you, I swear. You’ll walk out that front door as alive as you came in. I’d never let anything happen to you. Never.”

By now they were in front of the basement door. Alan opened it and Jack eased Marian forward. She took a deep breath and turned on the light. “Want me to come with you?” said Alan. Marian swallowed. Her mouth tasted of bile and fear. “If you’d like.” Strange, that even now he wanted to look after her, take care of her. He put a warm and reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Don’t be afraid. I’m not. Not anymore.” She looked at him and wondered why in the hell she hadn’t gone over to Aunt Boots’s house first. Then she tried to smile. And they started down the steps.

Marian was only aware of time passing. She held her breath as she descended the stairs, trying to keep herself from shaking. She became aware of all the underneath-sounds you never hear during the day because you’re too busy to notice them; the faint, irregular drip of water as condensation fell from the pipes, her own breathing, the creak of a house still settling. She wet her lips, then squeezed the wooden railing for reassurance. No good; she was still petrified.

The stairs groaned and rasped with her every step; it would not have surprised her had the damn things simply splintered in half and sent her falling straight down, Alice in the Rabbit’s Hole. Then came a sound from somewhere behind him. A soft sound. But close. “Doing fine,” said Jack.

The doorbell rang upstairs. Alan grabbed Marian’s shoulder, halting her, then turned to Jack and said, “You’d better stay up there and take care of the beggars. Make sure you tell all of them about tonight.”

Wordlessly, Jack did as he was told.

Every muscle in Marian’s body seemed to knot up all at once; her skin broke out in gooseflesh and her breath suddenly caught in her throat. She briefly flashed on an incident from her childhood when Dad had bagged a deer while hunting and split it open from its neck down to its hind legs, then hung it upside-down in the basement to drain. She hadn't know it was there when she went down to get something for Mom, and it was dark and she didn't want to go because the light switch wasn’t working and that meant she had to go down the stairs and then walk all the way over on the other wall, which meant going across the basement in order to turn it on, which always seemed like a twenty-mile hike through the darkest woods to her, but she managed to get to the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath and start hiking through the forest, then slipped in a puddle of something and fell on her stomach. She yelled because she was having trouble getting up, so Mom came down and walked over and turned on the light and there

was so much blood everywhere because the deer was hanging right over her, its eyes wide, staring at her as a steady flow of blood and pieces of guts spattered down on her face and arms and she just knew that if Mom didn't pull her away the light would go out again and she’d die there with the deer in the dark forest....

That same feeling returned to her as she came off the last step and found herself in the basement.

In the center of the floor, illuminated by the single bulb which hung from the center of the ceiling, was a pond of blood; there was no mistaking its color of its sharp, coppery scent. Though it had not turned the shade of rust as that in the bathroom, it was old enough to have begun coagulating.