Пинтип Данн - Remember Yesterday

Oh Fates. This was the woman she was before tragedy struck. This open, affectionate woman is my mother before both her daughters were ripped away from her.

I close my eyes and take shallow, openmouthed breaths. It is almost too much to bear. I would rip apart my very soul if I could save her from the pain she’s about to endure. But I have to think of Remi. Remi and all the children born in the last decade. I can’t go around changing the past because of them.

Oblivious to my distress, my mother winds an arm around my shoulders. “Now who is this young man?” She gestures at Tanner, and he smiles angelically at her. But angelic for Tanner still looks like the devil, and my mom’s hand tightens on my arm, as if to say: What are his intentions? Should I be worried?

“His name is Tanner Callahan,” I say. “He’s a scientist, and he accompanied me on this trip to the past.”

She frowns, and I remember that she’s familiar with the ins and outs of time travel. “Naked?”

“Your daughter’s quick with the afghan,” he says earnestly. “I tried as hard as I could, but I caught only a glimpse.”

My mom tries to frown, and then smiles, and then frowns again. “Tanner Callahan,” she repeats slowly. “Any relationship to the Father of Future Memory?”

Of course she knows his name. Everybody did in this time.

“People say I look just like him,” he says, eyes wide and innocent. “Except Jessa. She thinks I’m way hotter.”

My mouth drops open. “I do not!”

“You didn’t say it. But I could tell you were thinking it.”

“Mom!” I turn to my mother, hoping she’ll put Tanner in his place. But she doesn’t even bother to hide her amusement now.

“He has a point, dear heart.” She smiles broadly at him. Hmph. Figures she would like the cocky scientist type. “But I can’t officially sanction you flirting with my daughter, Mr. Callahan. So would you mind if I steal Jessa away? I don’t have much time to get everything packed.”

“Go right ahead,” he says with a broad, identical smile. He sits on the recliner, crossing his hands behind his head. “I’ll be here.”

Looping an arm through mine, my mom guides me down the hall and into her room. It’s not until she pulls a suitcase from under the floorboards that her words sink in.

“Pack?” I ask. “Pack for what?”

“To go with you and Callie to Harmony, silly. Surely you must know that. Since you’re from the future…” She trails off. “Oh no. You’re from the future . We don’t make it safely to Harmony. Something goes wrong tomorrow, doesn’t it?”

I blink. Wait a minute. Doesn’t she know she’s supposed to stay and act as an anchor? She said she’d received a message from the future. I assumed it was a future memory. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was…me?

No, that can’t be right. I wasn’t here all those years ago. But I was. I am. She said that my future self told her that I would forgive her one day. That time is now, and now is then.

I clutch my forehead. Dear Fates. I’m so confused.

Well, one thing’s for sure. She can’t know how the future will turn out. She’ll try to stop Callie, and little Remi will be as good as gone. Vanished without a trace. As if she never existed.

“You’re the one being silly.” Summoning all of my acting ability, I plaster a smile on my face. “Everything turns out just fine. Look at me. I’m standing right here, aren’t I?”

“Thank the Fates for that. You scared me, dear heart.” Reassured, she moves to her closet and taps a button. The clothes rack begins to rotate, and she grabs her shirts as they pass.

I lick my lips. I have to find the right words for this next part. I have to convince her to stay, or this very moment won’t ever be possible. “It’s just that…you can’t come with us to Harmony tomorrow.”

She grabs a dress that’s about to turn the corner. “What are you talking about? Of course I’m going. You don’t expect me to let my girls go to the wilderness by themselves, do you?”

“Mom.” I grab her shoulders and tug her away from the closet. “You have to trust me. You can’t go to Harmony.”

“Why? Callie can take care of herself, sure. But you’re six years old, Jessa.” She pulls herself to her full height. “You must be mad if you think I’m going to let my six-year-old run away from civilization without her mother.”

I exhale slowly. Maybe if my breaths are even, my words will be, too. “You have to stay exactly where you are because you’re the anchor.”

She blinks. “Is this about your father? Because if it is, you can forget it. I want him to come back as much as anybody. You know that. I love him more than anything in this world. Except for two people. You and Callie.” She lifts her chin. “I’m sorry, but Preston’s just going to have to stay stuck in a different space-time. I will not send my six-year-old to the wilderness with just her sister. And that’s final.”

Heat pricks the backs of my eyes. I didn’t know. I didn’t know she wanted to come with me. I didn’t know she tried this hard.

“It’s not about Dad,” I say hoarsely. “It’s Callie. She’s sick in the future. Really sick. The only way to save her is for me to come back here to this time. She has a condition called Asynchronicity.”

As quickly as possible, and without giving away that she’s been in a coma for the past decade, I explain how Callie’s mind is not in sync with her body. In order for her to find the right time, I continue, I need to plant a seed here in the past, so that we can trigger it in the future.

When I finish, my mom limps to the bed, her dress crumpled in her hands. She stares at the material like she doesn’t recognize it. “Will that actually work?”

I move my shoulders. “It’s the only hope we have.”

She is silent for so long I think she might’ve passed out. But when I peer closer, I see a single tear rolling down her cheek before it plops onto the dress.

“What about you, Jessa?” Her voice is low and anguished, as if her very limbs are being ripped away. “Oh, my baby. Who will take care of you?”

“Callie will,” I lie. I crouch on the floor in front of her, so I can look up into her face. “You know what a good sister she is. These last six years, she’s been like a second mother to me.” I catch her eyes. Time for truth now. The most honest truth I know. “Mom, you have to trust me. If there’s any chance of the three of us being together in the future, any chance at all, then you have to do this. You have to let me go.”

She holds my gaze for a moment and then nods. The dress slips out of her grasp and falls to the floor.

“So you’ll do it?”

“What choice do I have?”

The breath I didn’t realize I was holding rushes out of me. “You can’t tell Callie, okay? Say whatever you have to, but she can’t know you’re staying here to save her in the future. It will mess up everything. Please, Mom. You’ll do that, won’t you?”

“For Callie, and for you, I’ll do anything.” She holds out her arms, and I fly into them. We hug, for the last time in the next six years. I close my eyes. The wool of her sweater scratches my cheek, and the light, fresh scent of vanilla surrounds me. I know I’ll remember this moment forever. No matter what time I’m in.

“Over the next few years, I’m not going to be very nice to you,” I mumble into her neck.

“Oh dear heart, that’s to be expected.”

“It’s not just teenage brattiness, okay? The six-year-old me thought you abandoned me. And she holds it against you. I’m sorry, Mom. So sorry.”

She pulls back, wiping away my tears with her thumbs, even as the moisture springs up in her own eyes. “You don’t have to apologize. What have I always told you? I will always love you, no matter what.”